episode 123: how to build life long body confidence with Caralyn Mirand Koch
On episode 123 of The Diet Diaries I’m talking with plus size model, digital creator and founder of the Properly Fitting Bra Club, Caralyn Mirand Koch.
I’ve been inspired by and learning from Caralyn for several years on Instagram and am thrilled to have her on the podcast as a resource for our community.
Caralyn shows up in a way that is real, relatable and authentically herself and that’s why I have followed along on her journey for so long. I have tried and loved not just bras, makeup and clothes she’s suggested, but also learned so much from her about living confidently in a fuller body.
This conversation is packed with so many incredible insights and tools:
How Caralyn separated using her body for her work as a model from her own self worth
The core values of the community she has created
Caralyn’s perspective on evolving her business and how she connects with women at all life stages
How Caralyn navigated the constant feedback about her plus size body as a model
What the definition of plus size is and the meaning that’s been assigned to the term
Why Caralyn is proud to represent the “in betweener” sizes (and what that means)
The idealized plus size shape and how that’s evolving over time
The important of representing all types of plus size bodies
The power of simply witnessing someone existing and living their life in their body as a way to normalize different body shapes and sizes
How Caralyn became an expert in undergarments and why they’ve been such an integral part of feeling good in her skin
Caralyn’s perspective on hair and makeup and how it impacts body image
Caralyn’s number one skill for creating body confidence and how she works through body insecurities
I hope you feel seen and connected by listening to this conversation and know that you are never alone in navigating how to find your own body confidence and feel at ease in your own skin.
You can find Caralyn on Instagram, her website where she shares so much useful and helpful fashion, lifestyle and mindset content on her blog and on Facebook in the Properly Fitting Bra Club.
Check out episodes 112 and 119 of The Diet Diaries for more resources and support around improving negative body image and building body confidence. And take a look at this blog post with 3 simple, specific skills to help improve negative body image.
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[00:00:00] jordana: Hey everyone. Welcome back. It's episode 123 of The Diet Diaries. I'm super excited. I have a really special guest here today. Uh, Caralyn Mirand Koch. Um, I have been, I hate the word following, but I'm gonna say following her on Instagram for a long time, and she's had. A huge impact on me. Um, Carolyn was a curve model and is now a creator online and the founder of the properly fitting bra club, which personally changed my life when I finally wanted to get fitted, um, for a properly fitting bra.
[00:00:32] And I asked her if she'd be willing to share some of her time and come on, um, as a resource for you guys for the listeners. Been such an incredible resource for me, um, as someone living kind of in a curvier plus size body and navigating that in a very public way. Um, so welcome. Thank you so much for being here.
[00:00:54] caralyn: Thank you. I'm so truly honored and humbled to be a tiny, tiny part of your journey, so thanks for. letting me come on and, and share a little bit more about mine.
[00:01:03] jordana: Yeah, absolutely. Um, I thought it would be great just to kind of hear a little bit about your background. Like I know you started as a curve model. What was that like? You know, how old were you kind of already kind of being exposed, like more in the media, maybe at like a somewhat younger age, and then how that kind of transitioned into the work you're doing now on social media.
[00:01:23] caralyn: Sure. So, um, it was actually a total fluke kind of how I got started. I'll give you the. The short version, but feel free to cut me off cuz I do get a little lengthy here.
[00:01:34] jordana: good.
[00:01:35] caralyn: 17 years old. I was a senior in high school. Um, my mom told me to go online and look up some scholarship information for college. I was applied and accepted to go to college.
[00:01:47] Um, instead of doing that, I was submitting my senior glam shots. I know everyone had them. Um, online, Tyra Banks was having a teen plus size modeling competition. So if you were a teenager and above a size 12, you were eligible to enter and we'll come back to the term plus size. Um, so long story short, I ended up being a runner up of the competition.
[00:02:11] They flew my mom and I out to New York and we competed in like a mini America's Next Top model type format. I don't know if you remember her daytime TV show, the Tyra Show. , but it was two episodes on her Tyra show. I ended up being runner up and, um, you know, at 17 years old I thought, you know, this was my, my hopes and dreams were crushed.
[00:02:33] It was the end of the road. You know, I was a failure. But little did I really know that this was only truly the beginning for me. Um, fast forward, I you. Educa, my parents are both educators. I, you know, knew that I wanted to go to school, so I continued on, uh, started my freshman year of college. Um, still kind of dabbled here and there.
[00:02:58] Tried really hard to get signed with a modeling agency. . When I was a sophomore in college, I was signed by a legitimate modeling agency and from there it kind of began securing some of my first big clients. Macy's was one of my first big ones. Deb Shops, if you remember, uh, was one of my consistent clients.
[00:03:20] So where I went to school up at Clarkson University, um, is like the most far north you can get in New York State. And, um, about two and a half hours from a legitimate airport . So it was definitely not, um, the fashion capital of the world, but I, I was a hustler and I was committed to making it work And, um, managed to have a dual degree in business and psychology, and the school really truly embraced me and, and treated me like a student with, with her own business.
[00:03:51] So upon graduation, I was kind of faced with this decision, you know, do I go on like many of my peers and start working for these Fortune 500 companies or do I kind of pursue the unknown and, and take the unbeaten path? And, um, you. See what, where this thing could go, because I really had not been really been able to give modeling a hundred percent of my time because I was a full-time student.
[00:04:20] So, um, ultimately I decided to, uh, I turned a job offer down, moved back home to Buffalo, New York, which was five minutes from an airport where I was a lot, um, easier to, you know, maneuver and. Um, fly in and out of New York and Philadelphia and Miami and California, kind of where a lot of these jobs were were happening.
[00:04:45] And I would say about two years post-graduation. I graduated in 2014. Around 2016 is when I kind of started things shifting. Online. Um, and normally I'd walk into a casting, um, which is kind of like an interview for models. They, they go in, they kind of look you up and down. They go through your portfolio.
[00:05:11] And the first question, um, the casting director asked me was, how many followers do you have on Instagram? And this, I vividly remember this, it was like fall 2016. I stood up proudly and I said, I have 10,000 followers. And the guy like Lo looked at me up and down, he laughed. He said, well, you better step it up, honey So for me, that was truly such a pivotal moment of like, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. Why does it matter? Who cares if I have followers and if I have to have follow? , who are the people that I'm trying to attract and what kind of content do I have to put out there to attract that audience? So that really inspired and encouraged a deep dive within myself to figure out who I wa, who I was, , and then the last verse, who I want it to be online.
[00:06:14] And you know, it's so easy and anyone could truly post a beautiful photo. But how do I cultivate and curate a community? Um, and then from there things kind of started to shift. But I know back to your original question about, um, my body and being kind of hyper aware in the modeling industry, um, it's, it's actually was quite fascinating because for the first time in my life I was being, Hired and fired based off of how I looked.
[00:06:49] And in some ways that was a really beautiful thing because I felt like for the first time I was being encouraged to have curves and, um, being, you know, celebrated for my body. But then it also on the flip side, in created some, um, maybe insecurities that I never would've had before. So, . It, it's, it was, it was a very weird time to have to separate yourself from your body
[00:07:26] jordana: yes.
[00:07:27] caralyn: and realize that my self worth, while it does earn me in income, my body does coming in income, it's, they're not interchangeable, right?
[00:07:40] So like if I'm getting hired and fired based off of how I. It's not necessarily about me or my fault, right? So like they could be looking for a petite, dark skin model and like I just don't fit those categories, , and that's just not something I can control. So there was a point where it's like I have to separate myself in the business aspect of that.
[00:08:07] jordana: I actually think like as someone on the other side of it, like watching everything and knowing you only online. that has come through. You come through like so relatable and so yourself, and like, it's like a, what you see is what you get, and it almost like makes sense. It's like if you're having to separate those two things and it's like what you're giving people, I don't know, on my end feels like, well, this is who I am as a person, right?
[00:08:31] Because I follow you for all of that. Like obviously I relate to you because of, you know, your body type and, and, and all of that. It's everything else, like who you are as well. So that really like that all fits like kind of hearing you go through that process and then being on the receiving end, I guess, of like the external part of that process.
[00:08:50] caralyn: Well, thank you. There was a point where like, no matter what I did, someone wasn't happy, and so it was like my hair's too long, my hair is too short. I needed. I needed weave. I needed to get a spray tan. My, my, my skin was too tan. I, it was just like my size was good, but I needed to tone my tummy or I needed to tone my arms.
[00:09:18] Like someone always had a suggestion. and when you're young and there's no one really looking out for you in that space, it's so easy to. Absorbed and like sucked up in that. And, and for a while I did anything anyone told me to do. I was just, you know, hoping to, you know, make everyone happy. But there was a point where I was like, look, I'm never gonna make everyone happy.
[00:09:46] I need to figure out how I. Look and feel happy, like, and then people are still gonna comment, but like, I need to be able to lay my head down at night knowing that I did my best. I feel my best. And the rest can move on to the next or like take it or leave it
[00:10:09] jordana: Yeah.
[00:10:09] caralyn: So that's
[00:10:10] jordana: then the people that you attract and the people that, that eventually followed you and found you like, appreciate that and value that and aren't looking, you know, to change those things or fix those things. It's like they get it and they value that.
[00:10:23] caralyn: Absolutely. And I think, you know, a big thing that you know, potentially we can get into a little bit later is like, okay, I've been online now since 2016. and the world is not the same as it was since 2016. And like we as humans are allowed to change and evolve. Um, and so while, yes, like at my core, I am still me, but there are pieces of me that are now like growing and evolving and it's been interesting that like some people have a hard, hard time with that.
[00:11:02] Um, but I, I
[00:11:03] jordana: to like the fact that you're pregnant and having a baby
[00:11:07] caralyn: Yes. and it's just, it's wild to me because here I am, like I've spent my, the better part of my career building a platform in a community that encourages, that champions, that advocates for, and that is learning alongside other women and then to like evolve and people. like upset or question that it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[00:11:41] So like, I'm allowed to cheerlead for you.
[00:11:44] jordana: right, but you can't support me.
[00:11:46] caralyn: Right. So it's just been super interesting and, and granted that's like the small minority, but the minority sometimes is
[00:11:54] jordana: the loudest
[00:11:55] caralyn: the last . Um, but I think just, I just kind of have to keep my head down and stay true to me and know that. My vibe will attract my tribe
[00:12:08] so
[00:12:09] jordana: yes. And you've been, I feel like you've been open about that and saying like, I'm gonna be sharing stuff about like dressing for a pregnant body and what that's like. And I gotta tell you, my son is almost 11, so I'm at a different life stage and I still find. What you share and how you talk about it.
[00:12:26] Totally relatable cuz it goes beyond like, oh, how do you dress a bump? It comes back to like those internal things about how am I feeling good in these clothes? How am I using clothes? And I actually wanted to ask you about this, about like the way you use clothes and hair and makeup to feel more like yourself.
[00:12:43] Um, and to me it kind of comes back to that regardless of like what physical state your body is in.
[00:12:50] caralyn: Absolutely. And, and I find, I mean, just me personally, like people I find online and I, and I can connect and relate to. regardless of their phase in of life, like I'd still care about them. I still want them to win. I still like, You know, it's, it's actually wild. Like we can't expect everyone to like wake up, work out, eat breakfast, and like live their life, get dressed like the exact same way as you, you know?
[00:13:20] And I think that's like, that's the beauty of life in friendships is being able to like, Maybe learn something new or see a new perspective or, um, just like have those exposures to other life experiences and things that like, makes the world a beautiful place. , you know, so for me it's like, I, I don't care if you're like, About to retire.
[00:13:47] Like I, I'm not even close to that, but like, you go girl. Like, I wanna see you live your life. I wanna see what you're gonna do. And um, I just think no matter what phase we're in, we can always find something to connect and relate about. Even if it's as silly as like, what breakfast cereal you like, . You know, like it doesn't have to be that deep.
[00:14:08] Right.
[00:14:08] jordana: but that's like what makes, that's what makes us human are those little things. And y you know, you share a lot of that, and I think that's why people connect to you. And I, I share a lot online too, and really make an effort. Like, this is who I am, this is what I do like, You know, your body may look different than mine or not.
[00:14:25] And, but it's also about like, what's important to us? How am I showing God? Like what are my values? And I talk about that a lot, like in my coaching work, but it's, it is like, that's what keeps people connected and I think brings together like a real community, like you talked about.
[00:14:39] caralyn: Absolutely. And it, it's, and I, you know, never claim to know it all or have it figured out. I've always been like, this is my journey, and like, let's walk it together and I'll share. Kind of as we go, any revelations that I have. Um, but it's just, and it's, and again, as you said, like there's just so many pieces of it, whether you can relate or connect to pregnancy at all right now or not, um, there's, there's always something.
[00:15:12] I know I talk a lot about body confidence and being comfortable in my body, and this is the first time ever in my life. . People want to see my stomach, you know, I've been told for years and years and years. Tone your tummy, hide your tummy, like wear, shape, wear to smooth your tummy. And now everyone's like, let's see that gut girl
[00:15:33] jordana: Mm-hmm.
[00:15:34] caralyn: And it's like, wait, what? Like everything I have been programmed to learn is opposite . So it's just been a super interesting journey that I've been able to kind of allow, you know, talk about. , um, online and, and share with my community as well.
[00:15:53] jordana: Yeah, and it's, I mean, I find it to be invaluable. So it's, thank you for being so, like, generous and vulnerable with all of it. Um, so I just wanted to go back a little bit. You started modeling when you were 17 and you mentioned it was for, you know, a size, size 12 and up and you mentioned, I wanna go back to the plus size thing and you know, I have pretty much been a size 12 since I was in high school and I was just curious like what it was like for you to, and, and at the time I was constantly trying to like diet myself out of that.
[00:16:23] So I'm like, I would love to hear about what it was like for you to be like, this is my body. I'm actually gonna try and use it for something. Um, and what, what that was like for you then, and even like what it's like for you now.
[00:16:34] caralyn: Absolutely. So before we continue, I just wanna call out like these labels. People get really fixated and obsessed and. It by these labels. So back in 2010 plus size was not a dirty word. It was, um, it represented the segment of an industry, um, that was, you know, really starting to form and take off. Since then, the word has evolved from plus size to full figure, excuse me, to curve model.
[00:17:07] So, Personally, I could care less what you call me. I am so proud to represent. Curvy women. Um, so none of those terms are offensive, but people will be like, you're plus size. Like, and I'm like, it's not, that's not a dirty word, like it's okay to use that word, you know. Um, but industry standard, like in the textbook plus size is defined as, um, size is 12 and up.
[00:17:35] So, um, this is actually, might blow your, blow your gasket here, but plus size modeling can start at a size. Which is
[00:17:45] jordana: Wow.
[00:17:46] caralyn: wild. Um, but for me, yeah, I just, I think just n I was always an early bloomer, . I was just always tall and I was always just the largest in my class. And, um, my body just was naturally a 1214 and really has always been, um, and I've fluctuated, you know, over the years, but I've always consistently been a 14, 16.
[00:18:12] Still to this day, um, that's just like where my body is
[00:18:17] jordana: Mm-hmm.
[00:18:17] caralyn: having to be. And so I'm, I'm cool with it. I mean, um, another term that I've, that's been kind of created in, in later years, is this in-betweener? I don't know if you've heard that term thrown around
[00:18:31] jordana: hearing mid-size a lot, but I haven't
[00:18:33] caralyn: mid-size. I don't, people get really offended, but like I, you know, personally, I, you can call me whatever you want, girl.
[00:18:41] I'm, I'm proud to be doing what I do and, and to be representing, um, someone that maybe relates to me in my size, but in betweener, um, is actually an interesting place to be. I would say it's between like maybe an eight and a 16. Um, but like the definition of that is like someone who can wear the largest size of standard sizing.
[00:19:05] So when I say standard sizing, that means like small to excel. And then, um, so the, on the larger end of the standard size and the smaller end of plus sizes, so like kind of where plus size begins, where it's like sometimes it's large, sometimes it's zero x, sometimes it's one x, you know, and I kind of straddle that line between standard and plus.
[00:19:30] So like sometimes I can get away with wearing, you know, the largest size in one brand and then the smallest size in another. . It can be challenging at times, especially like in my current phase where I don't always have the luxury to size up in garments because I'm already wearing the largest size. So this is really where I kind of hone in on focusing it on brands that are catering to that full size around extra, extra small to a four, five x like that.
[00:20:02] That's where I wanna be spending my coin is our brands that are doing that and doing it. Especially in this phase of life where I'm just able to
[00:20:12] jordana: Yes. Go back and forth.
[00:20:14] caralyn: go up and down.
[00:20:15] jordana: yeah. You had done, um, a blog post about that. I shared it with, with my community around like size inclusive brands and like all these different terms and how people get caught up in this. And like I do, like, there's other people I follow who use the term mid-size a lot and people getting offended like, you're too big, you're too small, you're too this, you're to that.
[00:20:35] And I, you know, in the, in the plus size, in the curve model, , just like I imagine or have heard there are in like, you know, straight size modeling where women are traditionally like very small bodies and very thin. Are there like, you need to be like in this like size 12 to four, like that's the ideal look for a plus size model.
[00:20:56] Is there any of that like pressure.
[00:20:59] caralyn: It has gone, the industry has gone through so many waves. I mean, I feel like, like any industry, there's trends that are constantly coming and going. Um, the, I will not lie, the, the size 14 hourglass figure.
[00:21:15] jordana: Yeah.
[00:21:16] caralyn: Was, and arguably still is the ideal body type. However, in recent years and I've seen, you know, a go up and down in waves, there's been size 18.
[00:21:30] Um, You know, maybe not hourglass, maybe a little, little fuller through the middle. Um, I've seen size 20 models. I've seen size, you know, like it's been ranging and the shapes and the sizes have, have definitely ranged, which I think is a great thing because plus size curvy bodies do not come in one shape, right?
[00:21:56] They, we come in all different shapes and sizes. Um, and I think representation really matters and it's important to see yourself reflected and un un and know that there's no one way to have a curvy body there. There are several different ways that are beautiful and perfect just as the way they are.
[00:22:19] jordana: Yeah. That, that, like, I'm like gonna get a little emotional, like that touches me so deeply because Right. You mentioned like the, the size 14, like hourglass figure. . I'm like, we'll go kind of between like a 12 and a 14 and I carry my weight in my belly and I'm very like straight so I don't have an hourglass.
[00:22:35] So it's like whenever you see like, or hear the term like curvy, it's always, even in plus size, it's represented as a smaller waist and fuller like butt and hips. And to your point about seeing that representation, it's like, well, and even like with jeans, like they have, all these companies have like the curve fit jeans and I.
[00:22:54] That does, that does, that's even worse for me. It's like then I'm, me being like pushing on my stomach more. So it's just, just like to, to hear that and like that validation of, of your support for, it's like the representation of all these different types of bodies. And even with like, cuz people think plus size and I think they think like one thing like that sort of like, you know, hourglass, fuller, like bigger hips and, and tush thing.
[00:23:17] But it's so much more than that. And um, That's why like, I remember when I, you know, just seeing you, I mean, you're like, I mean, you'll show so much of yourself in like lingerie and shapewear and all this. I'm like, yes. Like, it feels so good. And that's how, that's how we deal with shame is like connecting and knowing that you're not the only one thinking and dealing with these things.
[00:23:36] So, and that rep, that visual representation is so powerful.
[00:23:39] caralyn: Absolutely. And you know, I'll, I'll be totally honest with you. When I began sharing about undergarments, I had no intention of like, Changing the world whatsoever. I was just like, here I am in my body, just like simply existing. And I didn't realize, I think at the time, how powerful it could be like that. I don't necessarily need to acknowledge every little thing.
[00:24:07] Like, look at me, I'm a curvy body on the beach. Like, I deserve an award. Like, no, like I can just be and like live my life.
[00:24:15] jordana: Yeah.
[00:24:16] caralyn: just exist and that's powerful. Like I, we don't have to talk about it, but like
[00:24:22] you can just see someone maybe that you relate to doing their thing. And, um, like seeing that again, representation makes a difference.
[00:24:35] And it, again, it doesn't have to be a huge thing or a moment and. , look at me. I'm so like Kirby and like it, it can just, just do it. Just be,
[00:24:45] jordana: Yes.
[00:24:45] caralyn: you know? And I don't think I realized how powerful that could be. Um, cuz I just am, I was never comfortable with like, going over the top about it. I mean, I just always felt like it was like, what is there?
[00:25:01] Talk about like, let's just be
[00:25:02] jordana: Right. It's like this is a normal, regular, just another human body. Why do we have to make such a big deal out of it?
[00:25:09] caralyn: Right. Like, I'm not a hero, I'm
[00:25:11] jordana: yeah. Right.
[00:25:12] caralyn: girl living my life, you
[00:25:14] jordana: Yeah. Um, in a way it's almost like doing that brings even more. like stigma to it, like it has to be
[00:25:23] caralyn: right.
[00:25:24] jordana: I think doing it in this just more like I'm just existing, I'm just living my life.
[00:25:27] I'm just doing my thing. Like even like normalizes it even further, like this is just a regular human body doing it and just doing my thing.
[00:25:36] caralyn: Right. And you don't have to like, it doesn't have to be like a big statement or a big moment. Like it can just exist.
[00:25:42] jordana: Yes.
[00:25:43] caralyn: um, perhaps like that's what we need to see more of. You know, just not every conversation needs to be about a Kirby body. You know? It can be about traveling the world. It can be about finding a swimsuit that looks good like it, it doesn't have to be. taking up space, you know,
[00:26:04] jordana: Yeah. Um, and it's so funny cuz I've, I have like, probably half the makeup products in my cabinet are based on ones that you've suggested. So to that point, like there's, there's so much else out there and I, I would kind of love to hear, like for me, cause I have worked at home in my house even before for Covid for a really long time and spent a lot of time like not really like getting dressed and like putting on makeup and doing my hair.
[00:26:28] And it started to have like this cumulative impact and over the past year, so I. Really, like I get dressed every day and like an outfit and I put on makeup and I've been spending more time doing my hair and it's made such a huge difference in how I feel about myself. And I just was like curious what, like what has been the role of clothes and makeup and hair for you, like in sort of feeling good in your skin?
[00:26:55] caralyn: So when I started kind of building my online platform, a big thing was like, what value can I add? How can I, um, the community that I was trying to reach for women, other women, um, you know, and what could I bring to this platform that. . It wasn't just like, oh, look at me in a pretty picture, like a beautiful ma hair and makeup moment.
[00:27:18] Like, so all I really knew at the time were just tips and tricks and things that I was learning on set as a model. So have that be styling, have that be undergarments, have that be hair and makeup and just things that I was learning with these top artists and stylists. Um, so I just began just sharing my learnings into like how I could translate.
[00:27:42] Fashion moments to the everyday woman. So that's really how I started, um, sharing, uh, from like a, here's what I learned. Take it or leave it. kind of thing. Um, and you know, I always say this and I feel like I say it so much, but still there's somebody that forgets out there that anything and everything is preference based.
[00:28:10] So if you feel good with braless and flawless and you know, like no makeup, all that, like more power to you, I salute you and I encourage you to. Do the do the damn thing, girl. But if you are curious in undergarments or hair or makeup, here are some things I learned and you don't have to do them to be a certain outcome, but here's what I do.
[00:28:40] That makes me feel good. And perhaps
[00:28:44] jordana: It works
[00:28:44] caralyn: might feel good for you, but again, like this isn't, it's not like you have to do X to b Y. It's not. . That's not what I'm about. That's not what I'm saying. It's just like, hair and makeup is fun for me. Talking about skincare and beauty and all that, it's fun. Um, but it's all optional.
[00:29:04] You know? It's not like make or break.
[00:29:08] jordana: Right. You don't have to do these things to feel this way.
[00:29:11] caralyn: agree and do, if you are gonna do it, you do it because you like it and you prefer it. and not for anyone else or anything else. I think that's really important.
[00:29:26] jordana: Yeah, I totally agree. Um, so I wanted to also ask you about the properly fitting bra club. Of course. And just when you, I mean, maybe even when you realized like how helpful and impactful it can be, right? To have a good fitting bra and how you kind of like carved out. This guy. I think that's actually how I found you.
[00:29:48] I think you were on a podcast talking about that, and I'm like, oh my God, where has this woman been all my life? . Um, so yeah, I'd love to just hear more about that and how you created it and all that.
[00:29:59] caralyn: Yes. So I started as a lingerie fit model. It sounds a lot like cooler and sexier than it. It was, um, basically I would stand in a boardroom in shearer, undergarments, bra and panties and, um, I would be there like, with like in meetings for buyers and, um, like major brands like a Nordstrom, major retailers that would be there to buy the undergarments for the next coming season.
[00:30:32] Um, and that was such a, I think, fragile time for my self-confidence and, you know, not to to my own horn, but it like, it kind of takes a lot of balls to. Stand in your, you know, in a boardroom with everyone professionally dressed with your lady bits just.
[00:30:51] jordana: Yeah.
[00:30:52] caralyn: On display. Um, and so for me, the way I kind of coped and dealt with it was to pay attention to what they were talking about.
[00:31:02] Talking about the fit of the garment, the constructions of the garment, um, what the functionalities of the garment, how it was supposed to be worn, where it was supposed to be worn under what for what brush shape, you know, all those things. And, and I just became like, Sponge and absorbing. And that was really the first time I had ever been wearing a bra properly.
[00:31:23] And so, um, that was something I was like, well, let me maybe share this with my community. Like maybe, maybe this is something that other people would find helpful. And turns out, I think eight or nine, the, I think it's either eight or nine out of 10. women are wearing an incorrect size. So I was like, if I can be part of the change to get that number down, , let's do it.
[00:31:51] So I, I started educating my audience on what a bra supposed to look like, how it's supposed to feel. If you're thinking about your bra throughout the day, it's time for a new bra. Um, and I, you know, I f I saw myself as like, Middle woman between the brands and the people. So I was like, let me tell you where to go.
[00:32:16] You know, I'm not necessarily a fitter or an expert on every single style that's out there, but I can teach you and share at least the basics so that you know what to expect and like what to go into this process with. Um, and I just, you know, In my dms, people were saying like, oh, I went and got fitted my life.
[00:32:35] My clothes are fitting better. I feel my shoulders are back. I'm just feeling more confident. And so it's like when you have that, that moment, I call it the brak moment, where you have that, that your base on, right? Your foundation, your undergarments on, and it just, it makes getting dressed easier because, I mean, raise your hand if you've changed your outfit a million times because you don't have the right.
[00:33:00] jordana: Yeah.
[00:33:01] caralyn: to go underneath it, right? Like how many times have we dealt with that? So it's like you have your foundation down and then you, the first thing you put on fits great and then the rest of your morning goes a little bit easier. And then just like it creates this ripple effect. It's like when you have a good day and you have a good week and a good life.
[00:33:20] And if, and if it's as simple as your undergarments just starting and making you feel good at the very, very base beginning of your day. Like, there's just, it just, there's so much opportunity there, right? So I would receive these messages in my dam saying like, I went and I got fitted and like, I feel great and endless possibilities now.
[00:33:42] And I would say, welcome to the club, like, welcome to the properly fitting broth club. And so from there it's really taken on. Um, and I found myself in a place. . I was getting like hundreds of dms a day asking like bra questions, and I really tried to cover as much as I could, but I'm a one woman show over here, so I ended up creating the properly fitting Bra Club Facebook group, which has been a tremendous resource for people to troubleshoot and ask each other things and bring all these amazing people together in one place that we can all learn from each other.
[00:34:22] And it's not just. Speaking one way. Um, so that's been a beautiful beast
[00:34:29] jordana: Yeah.
[00:34:30] caralyn: based on myself,
[00:34:31] jordana: Well, I love so much about it is, it's like, when I think about it from like a body image standpoint, it's like meeting your body where you're at and. , it's not about changing your body, right? This isn't about, oh, I wish I had bigger boobs or smaller boobs. Like, these are the boobs I've got, so let me find a bra that's gonna kind of like, make the most of them and make me feel really comfortable.
[00:34:50] Um, and that's so powerful, like you said, like it's like the foundation for so many other things.
[00:34:57] caralyn: Yes. And small boob ladies, they always think like, oh, I don't need that. Like, I, I don't know, that small boobs are just as important, just as important as big boobs and just as, as worthy and deserving to be fitted. Um, and also just kind of talking through different phases of, of life. And we as women are constantly changing. Why wouldn't our bra size too, you know, and I think, you know, people are so quick to spend $5 on a Starbucks coffee, but to invest in a bra that can make a $10 outfit look like a million bucks and vice versa,
[00:35:39] jordana: Yes.
[00:35:39] caralyn: you can make an a thousand dollars dress look real cheap, real fast if your undergarment game is not on point.
[00:35:46] jordana: Yeah. It's, it's, again, it's, it's so powerful. Um, and I love, I mean, and with like the nipple covers and the belly button, all these things that, like you've gotten into about like what it's like to be a woman putting on clothes and to feel really good, um, is just, there's all these things you can do.
[00:36:04] Without, it's like, this is not about changing your body. This is about just being where you are and, and you know, in the skin, you're in. Just like, I'm just, I'm just existing as a human. Like
[00:36:15] caralyn: and none of these options are mandatory. Like take it or leave it. If you wanna free the Nip free the damn Nip girl, I support you. But if you don't and if you feel more comfortable having it concealed, here are some amazing options that I bought and tried and learned the hard way so you don't have to
[00:36:34] jordana: Yeah, it's just about autonomy, like giving people choices to make their own decisions.
[00:36:38] caralyn: yes, true that
[00:36:41] jordana: Yeah. I love that. Um, so I guess just one of the last things I wanted to ask you about was something you mentioned just in the past couple weeks on Instagram. Um, right. So we've already established and talked about the fact that you're pregnant, , and you said you noticed some, I guess some, like a stretch mark on your belly, like in a new spot for the first time.
[00:36:58] And you shared so candidly, like what it was like to see that and how you responded to it. and I just was wondering if you could share a little bit about that here and sort of how you deal with, you know, changes in your body, insecurities that come up. Like what are some of your skills or tools that, that help you get through that stuff?
[00:37:19] caralyn: Sure. So I will say the one thing that was the most and still is the most powerful for me in my body, confidence. journey is that it is a journey, not a final destination. I really thought I was gonna wake up one day and be confident, ba bang, ba boom, it'd be over. So I think for me, this one, that switch went off and was like, oh, like I have to work at this
[00:37:47] jordana: Mm.
[00:37:48] caralyn: It's going to ebb and flow. It's going to come, you know, in different phases in life and just d. Challenges and just different moments in life. Confidence is, is fleeting and coming and going, you know? So once I realized and accepted that, I think that has been a really powerful tool for me.
[00:38:07] jordana: Okay.
[00:38:08] caralyn: But with the stretch Mark, um, you know, as I said, I was a early bloomer.
[00:38:14] I was wearing a bra in fourth. Um, I've had treach marks on my, on my bust and my hips and my stomach, um, since forever. So they were n not new to me, but um, I just happened to like glance in the mirror on the way into the shower and I saw two little red marks underneath my belly and I was, at first I was like, what are those?
[00:38:40] Cuz they looked different than what I.
[00:38:42] jordana: Yeah.
[00:38:43] caralyn: Um, from my other stretch marks. And so I was like, huh, that's a stretch mark, I think. Okay. And then just continued on. And like a little while later, I, I noticed that, I noticed and I made the choice to just continue without downward spiraling of, oh my God, I need to like buy x, y, Z cream.
[00:39:09] I need to do all these things, da, da, da, da. I just simply noticed and
[00:39:17] accepted and move on. Yeah. I mean, am I gonna be, do I need to like hydrate a little bit more? Maybe. But like it's not, I'm not gonna do it because I hate it.
[00:39:25] jordana: Right to
[00:39:26] caralyn: And I think it's, what people don't realize too is like you don't have to like, it doesn't have to be love or hate.
[00:39:33] Like you can be neutral, right? Like, I don't necessarily love my stretch. That's not what I'm, I don't necessarily like need to, some people do and I again, that's amazing. But I also don't need to hate them and I also don't need to like have it ruin my day, you know?
[00:39:50] jordana: Yeah, it's just like a lack of judgment. It's just this is a fact. I have a stretch, a stretch mark on my stomach. Full stop. Right. And just letting it exist. Like you said before. I love what you said about like being on the beach. I'm just existing, I'm just existing and this is part of that. Um, and
[00:40:09] caralyn: I'm sorry.
[00:40:09] jordana: No, go ahead.
[00:40:10] caralyn: And, and it just like, it's just a tiny little piece of how incredible our bodies are. You know? I mean, like, we can go into the whole thing of like,
[00:40:20] jordana: Yeah.
[00:40:22] caralyn: it, you know, but it's, it's so, it's easy to like, you know, fall into these little traps of like, comparison games and like, oh, this person has the perfect bump.
[00:40:31] jordana: Oh yeah.
[00:40:31] caralyn: It's all angles, girl. It's all angles.
[00:40:34] jordana: Yeah.
[00:40:36] caralyn: I can tell you that. So, um, but yeah, like realizing that like, it's okay to notice and be neutral. Like you don't have to, don't, you don't have to love them if you don't want to. Um, but you also don't have to hate them either.
[00:40:52] jordana: Yeah. They can just be. Well, this has been awesome. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to share this with everyone. Um, can you just share, I mean, not that it's hard to find you, but just. Your Instagram, your website, you have a newsletter or, and just any ways that people can kind of connect with you and be part of your community online?
[00:41:11] caralyn: Absolutely. Thank you. So it's at Carolyn Moran on everything. It's spelled weird, but I'm sure it'll be
[00:41:17] jordana: It'll be in the show
[00:41:18] caralyn: here. Um, so yeah. At, @CaralynMirand, Caralynmirand.com. Um, you can find me there and I would love to connect and have you a part of the community, so thank you.
[00:41:29] jordana: Awesome. All right. Thank you so much, Caralyn. I really appreciate it.
[00:41:33] caralyn: Of course. Thank you.