Episode 105: why getting dressed is the fastest way to change your negative body image
Today’s episode is the first in a series I’m going to be doing around how to improve body image. There’s so much to cover in this space and I want what I’m sharing to feel really doable instead of overwhelming. So I’m going to focus on one specific idea/skill per episode. And today is all about the fastest way to change your body image.
Let’s talk about getting dressed.
In our new post pandemic, work from home, athleisure dominated world, getting dressed has taken on a new meaning.
There is a huge difference between throwing on leggings and a sweatshirt and putting together an outfit. And this doesn’t mean you have to be a stylist, but it may mean going outside your (literal and figurative) comfort zone and getting yourself off autopilot when you choose your clothes everyday.
Because what we wear has a HUGE impact on how we feel about our bodies.
I share some big changes I’ve personally made and the impact it has had on how I am feeling in my own skin.
If you have been struggling with thoughts around “why do I hate my body,” dealing with negative body image and lacking body confidence, this episode will offer you a really specific tool to begin responding to those thoughts in a productive, helpful way.
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Hey everyone. It's episode 105 of Movement Diaries, and you're gonna be listening to this as a podcast as you always do. But I wanted to let you know that I'm doing something a little different today as [00:01:00] I'm recording this. I'm actually filming myself as well because starting probably February-ish. I'm going to be sharing my podcast on YouTube as well, so you're always gonna be able to listen to them here like you always have.
But they're also going to be available on YouTube with video. So I'm practicing. This one is not gonna go on YouTube. I wanted to kind of start getting comfortable with recording. Because to be honest, it's actually really different To record myself while I'm looking at myself. It's like a whole other thing.
I'm used to being able to kind of like look up off into space and just kind of really do whatever it is I need to do to share and communicate what I want to, without having to be sort of focused on like talking, like looking at a camera and getting really close to the microphone and all of. So this is me practicing.
Hopefully it'll sound the same on your end. I don't know. We'll find out. But, just wanted to kind of share that's like a little behind the scenes action for you. So, I'm thinking that this is going to be the first in [00:02:00] a series, and this series may not be consecutive, meaning the episodes may not run like back to back in terms of like weeks.
But I wanna do a series around body image. , I have done a webinar around body image and I talk a lot about it on social media, but I have not gotten into it as much. On here, and I really wanna start doing that more. And I kind of thought about doing like a whole body image episode and then as I was thinking about all the content I would wanna cover, I'm like, this is gonna be really overwhelming.
Like I have, I've created like a two hour webinar around body image that doesn't even capture everything. Like, I don't wanna give you a two hour podcast to listen to. I wanna give you little snippets, little short things that you can kinda digest and then take action on without feeling overwhelmed. And so these are really gonna be in no particular order.
But the first thing I wanted to talk about today was the idea of getting dressed. This is something that has come up with many of my clients recently and is something that I. Personally have had a [00:03:00] lot of experience with, so I, many of you know that before I was a coach I taught yoga for a really long time, like eight, nine years.
And so my, what I wore every day was like leggings and joggers and sweatpants and like, you know, really comfy stuff. And lucky for me, this was right around the time that ath leisure was becoming like its own fashion category. , but I very rarely. Get dressed, and by getting dressed, I mean like putting on an outfit, putting on jeans or pants with like zippers and buttons or even just like nicer, like leggings or on like a button down top or a sweater.
Um, to the point where I would really like, Kind of stop. It's not stop, but would spend a lot less money on those, those types of clothes because I just didn't wear them. I'd spend money on like leggings and sweatpants and joggers and like cute sweatshirts and all of that. And then I would, we'd go out to dinner, we'd have somewhere to go and I'd be like, I have like one thing to choose from to wear. It was just sort of like this ongoing struggle. Like I wanted to get dressed and I'd be [00:04:00] like, well, after I'm done teaching for the day, then I'll get dressed, but it'd be like one o'clock. I'm like, well, I'm not gonna go like, change my clothes now. That felt stupid.
Um, and it just like, I never felt like. I had like a place or a time or a reason to do it, and it used to, it like really bothered me, um, that I just felt like I didn't have those types of clothes. I didn't have a reason to get dressed. I was just kind of stuck in this place of like wearing leggings every day.
And over time it 100% kind of started to affect kinda like the way I felt in my body because here's the thing, what we wear has the potential to have a huge. On how we feel about ourselves. Now, I've talked before, um, on social media, Instagram, around this kind of like three point checklist around clothing.
It fits, I like it and it's comfortable and that whatever you're choosing needs to satisfy all three of those. Otherwise, like it's a no-go. , but beyond that, right, cuz that could, you could check [00:05:00] that off easily with like cute joggers and like a fun top from a, or whatever. Beyond that. I think we need to think about like, does this outfit like really make me feel good?
Right? It fits. I like it. It's comfortable. Yes, that's gonna get you a really good part of the way there, but is this kind of helping me or allowing me to show up in the way that I want to be showing up? Um, When we are unhappy in our bodies, we tend to want to like cover them and we tend to lean more towards like looser things or baggier things or flowier things or unstructured things.
And there's definitely a time and a place for that stuff a hundred percent. But sometimes what I have found happens for myself and what I've heard from clients is that there's kinda like this backfire effect that clothing like that when worn all the time is like that's kind of like your go-to. You start to feel kind of like sloppy and not put together and like you're kind of like hidden.
Um, and that starts to make you then [00:06:00] feel even crapper, right? So you're wearing these, you already don't feel great about your body, so you choose these clothes to try and like not deal with it or cover it up and then that makes you feel even worse. And interestingly enough, I have noticed and I have heard from other people, that when we wear things that maybe kind of celebrate.
What our bodies look like. We actually feel better. , I had a conversation with a client a couple of weeks ago. We were talking about this and she was like, you know, when I wear things that are more form fitting, I actually really like how I look. And she's someone who has a fat loss goal and has a lot of body image struggles as we all do.
And it was kind of like an interesting, I think like unexpected moment of awareness. Um, that the thing that. Think is bad, like, oh, my body looks like this, or I have a belly, or I have rolls, or I don't have a small waist so I can't wear form. Fitting things is actually not true. And then we, you know, [00:07:00] we wear those clothes because we get dressed up for a wedding or we have to wear like a suit for some reason.
I don't know. There's like whatever is the reason that. That happens that you have to kind of dress out of your norm and you're like, oh, wow. Like I actually look really good, but it's like we just don't put in the effort, right? We default to what's easy because we live in this semi post pandemic world where a lot of people now permanently work from home, or at least part of the time, work from.
I know a lot of people have gone back to offices, but I know there's a lot of hybrid schedules now and we are just used to being home and like not getting dressed. I'm at home, why would I bother? Getting dressed is kind of like the mo, kind of like I taught yoga in my house for nine years. I'm like, why would, I'm just gonna wear leggings all day.
Why would I bother getting changed after I'm done working? Like I'm just at home? Because we have this feeling that getting dressed is like for someone else, that we want someone to compliment us. We want someone to see the outfit and see like how good we look that like if nobody sees it, it's like a waste.
And I totally get that. [00:08:00] I have thought this way for years. , But the reality is that why can't we get dressed for ourselves? Because it makes us feel good. And when we do that, when we wear an outfit that we love, that really makes us feel good. It really changes how we feel in our own skin. And it becomes like a tool to deal with negative body image.
Um, because clothing can, obviously, certain clothing can be really flattering and certain clothing can be really unflattering. Truth, like there's no, there's no denying that not every piece of clothing looks good on every body. Um, so when you find things and you choose things that do look really good on you, that make you feel good, that like, it just changes so much.
It changes the way you show up in the world. It changes the way you present yourself, the way you speak, the way you carry yourself, the way you think. It's way more powerful than we gr it credit for, and yet we're leaving it up to like, only when I have a special thing or when I'm [00:09:00] going outta the house or I'm going out to dinner or I have a meeting or someone else is going to see it.
, and we've totally deprioritized ourselves in this. And so I have been making an effort over the last six months, I mean, so really recently to get dress. I'm gonna say several days of the week. I don't do it every day. There are still many days where I go for my walk or I go lift weights and I end up staying in that outfit all day.
But like today, I mean, I'm just writing, this is like, like a comfy waffle top, but I do have on jeans, I went for my walk this morning and I was actually really comfortable and I actually liked the outfit that I wore for my walks. Sometimes I'll throw on really crappy. Which kind of almost then becomes like a motivation to like, get out of this.
Cuz I'm like, I definitely don't wanna leave the house in these clothes. , even if I'm not leaving the house, even whether or not I'm on Zoom with a client or I'm, so, I'm showing up on social media. I will show up in any way. Like you guys know that, I will show up when I think that I look like crap because that's real life.
We're not always looking amazing all the time, [00:10:00] but just the simple act of getting out of those workout clothes. This morning I grabbed a new pair of jeans I just got last. And this top, which is really comfort, comfy, and could totally cla uh, qualify as leisure wear. But I got dressed and I put in earrings and I put on a little concealer and I'm like, I made the effort.
I took the time, I went out of my comfort zone and I prioritized myself. Did it take a few extra minutes? Yes. Was it worth it? A hundred percent. . And so I've been trying to do that many days. A few weeks ago I shared, I recently decided to spend some money and buy some nicer clothes, like some basics.
I bought a black blazer and I bought a long sweater skirt, and I bought a pair of like, healed s suede boots, like just some nicer things that when I, we go out to dinner or we have a holiday party, or even if I'm just going out to run errands, I can choose to wear those things and it totally changed the way I feel about.
I went to meet a friend of mine for lunch at a pizza joint a few weeks ago, and I put on that blazer and she said, she's like, oh my God, you're wearing a [00:11:00] blazer. I'm like, I know. , and I felt really good. I felt like put together and I felt stylish and I just felt good. And it was for me, like it didn't matter that I was going to sit in a dive pizza place for lunch, where I have easily walked in wearing like my grungiest of clothes a thousand times.
I just want it to feel good. So this is a lever we can pull. Sometimes I'll talk about like tools and skills, but I've been hearing this, this language around like, what levers can we pull, pull the lever of getting dressed, of wearing clothes that you really love and make you feel special. Um, I like was last summer, two summers ago.
I got this dress, the sundress, and if you follow me on social media, you probably know which dress I'm talking about. It's got those ruffled sleeves and the, the floral print. Danny calls it my little house on the prairie dress. , it's from this brand called Hill House, and it's this dress called the el the, is it the Ellie nap dress or just the nap dress?
Anyway, I don't know. It's got like this like kind of cultish following. I love it. I bought it two summers [00:12:00] ago. I was upset. I put it on, I'm like, this is the best dress I have ever worn. It's like a sundress. It's casual. And then I hung in my closet for months. I did not wear it. And I finally put it on, I think I was going somewhere.
I think it might have actually been for, um, a Bar mitzvah, a casual backyard bar mitzvah that we went to. Hi Lori, if you're listening, it was Jake's Bar Mitzvah. , And I'm like, I love the stress. And I talked about the fact that I bought it two months ago and hadn't worn it. And a friend of mine reached out and she's like, just put it on with flip flops and wear it to go run errands.
And I'm like, you're right. I was like, I always feel like there has to be a reason, there has to be an excuse. Like wearing it for myself in my day to day life isn't good enough. It only matters if someone else is going to see it over. It's for a special occasion. And that really, really stuck with me and I've worked, I've put in effort to apply.
To more and more clothes, to things that just sit there and hang there, and I'm like, well, this is too dressy for this, or I'm just gonna be on Zoom today, or I'm not even seeing anyone on Zoom. Why would I bother putting that [00:13:00] on? That's the day that I'm gonna put it on because it matters. It changes so much about how we feel about ourselves.
So I just wanna leave you with this. Think about how do you use clothes? To feel about yourself. How do you feel when you wear certain things in your closet versus others? Do you notice that you kind of leave or set aside things for certain occasions that you love and never wear them? , , based on like kind of how you're feeling in your body or cuz body image can change day to day, right?
Sometimes, some days we have feel great in our bodies and some days we feel like shit and anywhere in between which. A really great way to realize how subjective body image is, but we'll save that for another episode for more in the series. And based on how you're feeling in your body on those different days, what clothes are you choosing?
And do those clothes then reinforce how you're feeling or do they help you make a shift? Clothing and how [00:14:00] we get dressed is a tool. It's a lever that you can pull to make a real. Tangible, noticeable change in how you are feeling in your body and how you're perceiving yourself on any given day. So that's what I've got to share with you for today.
There are going to be more episodes in this series soon, like maybe we'll do every other week or something like that. But I wanted to start with this, , because it's irrelevant and I think around the holidays, right? We've kind of got like these two extremes. There's like, we've got holiday parties and family and dinner, and then it's.
Sitting at home and doing nothing. And , how are we using clothes in those different situations and not, and there's no right or wrong here.
, there's just noticing what are your patterns? What are your go-tos? What do you kind of default to, and what else might be possible? So thank you for listening.
Thank you for being here and more soon.