episode 217: the hardest part of coaching
This is might be the most personal, vulnerable episode I've ever recorded. I went back and forth about whether to even share it, but here we are.
Today I’m getting really candid on the biggest struggles I face in my coaching business—what makes it feel like shouting into the void, why social media isn’t the answer, and the challenge of doing work that doesn’t fit the flashy, quick-fix narrative.
I love what I do. I believe in it with every fiber of my being. But here’s the reality—my work isn’t flashy. It’s not about dramatic before and afters or quick-fix solutions. It’s about deep, lasting change, and that’s a much harder sell in a world obsessed with instant results.
In this episode, I open up about:
🔹 The exhausting rat race of social media and why I’m rethinking how I show up
🔹 The journal entry that stopped me in my tracks (yep, I’m reading straight from my journal)
🔹 Why I sometimes feel like my job is “made up” (and the reframe that shifted everything)
And I’m asking for your help—just one small thing that could make a massive impact.
Listen in and, if this episode resonates, I would be so grateful if you shared The Diet Diaries with ONE person who would find it helpful.
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217
[00:00:00] Hey everyone, welcome back to the Diet Diaries. So today's going to be a little bit different of an episode, which I guess that means it's kind of three different episodes in a row because last week I had an awesome guest on and the week before I'm like blanking on what it was, but I know it was like a little bit of like a rantier episode.
And today, honestly, I'm talking about something super, super personal that I've never talked about on this podcast that I don't talk about publicly ever. Um, it's related to my business. So just to like not leave you hanging on the edge of your seat, oh my God, what's she gonna say? Um, and I'm sharing this today.
I think it's like a buildup of things that I've been struggling with recently. And then, um, for unrelated reasons this weekend, kind of like, It came to not like a boiling point, but I journaled about it this weekend, which I don't do that often. I journal when I feel like really kind of consumed by something [00:01:00] and stressed out or can't make sense of the thoughts or need to put them someplace and it really helps me.
Um, and this isn't like the, the byproduct or impact of any one thing. I think it's a bunch of things over time that I've been struggling with. And so. I really went back and forth about like, is it appropriate to talk about this? Is it okay to talk about like my business and the struggles I have with that?
That's not what this podcast is about. That's not the work I do. I am not a business coach. And then I'm like, you know what? Like this is my podcast. I can talk about whatever I want. And I think there actually are so many overlaps because ultimately it comes down to like values and how we take action.
either in alignment or not in alignment with what our values are. And that applies to literally everything in life, which is why it's such a huge part of kind of the coaching work that I do. But it's also a huge part of the way that I approach my business or try to approach my business. Um, And so I'm like, you know what?
I am gonna share. I'm gonna talk about it, um, because I'm actually gonna ask [00:02:00] you guys for your help with a couple things, um, which I'll get to kind of as I talk about stuff. You know, I think like something, and this is stuff I've talked about before, but the work, the coaching, the support that I offer, right?
It's not sexy. It's not dramatic. There are no, uh, kind of crazy before and after pictures. It's not a quick fix. So when you think about that in terms of social media, the lack of that, the absence of that, which is not a bad thing, that's a very good thing, but it's also not a great fit with social media, right?
Social media is all about instant gratification. And to be honest, with the work that I do, there is no instant gratification. That's kind of like the crux of the work is it's very much about learning how to sit and work with delayed gratification. So it's a little bit like meta in that like the work I do is also the reason why it doesn't fit with the instant gratification of social media.
Um, but quite being very frank with you, it's a harder sell, [00:03:00] right? The service that I offer is a much harder sell than Um, you know, tracking your macros, losing 10 pounds in 6 weeks, dropping a clothing size in 6 weeks, all of that stuff. I don't make any of those promises. I help people with fat loss. I help people lose weight.
People I work with absolutely do go into smaller clothing sizes sometimes. But I don't promise that. I don't really talk about that stuff in the same way because I approach it totally differently. And I, care much more about the skills that you learn. And again, there's nothing like kind of quote, cool or sexy about that in like the landscape of social media.
And I talked about this in my email last week. So if you're on my email list, you'll have seen this, right? Like social media is free and that's amazing, right? It is a literally a free advertising and connection and marketing platform, right? And when you think about it from that way, it's like, holy shit, that's fucking amazing.
Like stuff like that did not exist, obviously 2030. Plus, years ago. I mean, that sounds stupid to [00:04:00] say that, but we kind of forget. And at the same time, right, they also, I have no control over who sees my stuff, when they see it, why they see it, right? That is all dictated by the algorithm, and I'm not complaining about any of this, right?
I accept that, it's fine. But when you subscribe to this podcast, or you put yourself on my email list, I know that you are going to get my stuff. Whether or not you choose to listen to it or read it, right, that's up to you. That's a different thing. But I know you're going to get it. With social media, I don't even know that you're going to get it.
So it's not a matter of, oh, they flicked by my post or tapped through my stories. My stuff may not even show up in your feed based on whatever algorithm Instagram's running that day. And that's fine, right? But that coupled with the fact that the types of things that I share are harder to break through with has over time been making social media an increasingly harder and I think like more stressful [00:05:00] place for me to be.
And I'm not saying that I'm going off social media, that's not where this is going. I'm not saying that at all. Because I'm not, I'm not taking that all or nothing approach. Um. For me, I don't feel like that's right, but I am just talking about, like, the challenges of this, and I'm just sharing it with you, not, I'm not asking for your pity, I'm not asking for you to feel bad, I'm not complaining, I'm just kind of sharing the nature of this work, um, and it's, A lot of times it feels like shouting into a void, right?
It is so, social media is so cluttered and so overwhelming, and I feel this too as a consumer of social media, right? Where you're swiping, and it's like, you know, depending on the types of things that you're looking for, the things you're interested in, one minute you're getting a funny dog meme, then you're getting an ad for a sofa, right?
Then you're getting like, um, a weight loss supplement, right? Then you're getting a new workout program. Then you're getting a new pair of jeans and it's sweat and it's constant. Like our human brains are not evolved to intake information in that way. They're just not. Like we are [00:06:00] millions of years behind evolutionarily, whatever the word is, behind where technology is.
Um, and so it's like, well, I put stuff out there that as I'm writing it, I'm like, this is helpful. I feel so good about this. I love this. I love what I'm sharing. But I'm like, is this even like connecting? Is this even sinking in? Not, and, and no, no fault of anyone, no one to blame. But again, it's just like, what are our brains capable of intaking in any one moment or in any one situation when it's so, when it's like a firehose?
And you're not just drinking from a firehose in terms of one thing. You're drinking from a firehose in terms of like all different, um, messaging and content. And then we're like looking at our phones at stoplights, and while we're eating, and in the grocery store checkout line, and while we're sitting on the sidelines of our kids practice, or, you know, all these random times where it's like you're not fully paying attention.
You're just like killing time. You're just swipe and swipe and just killing [00:07:00] time. And it's just like so automated. It's like, what's actually sinking in? And so I think about it all the time. I spend creating content on social media and then the reality of how we intake and absorb that. And I'm like, wow, like, what is this really impacting, right?
And some social media content I think is better suited for that. The work that I do, which is like so deep and so layered and so nuanced. It's like, is this like really the best place for this? Some things it is and some things I think it isn't. Um, different than, like, following, like, a stylist or an interior designer or things where it's like, oh, that's, like, such a cool pair of jeans or, oh, my God, that room is gorgeous.
Let me tap and save that. It's like, I put up a post about, like, how to change your body image and it's like, whoa, I can't handle this right now. I'm just, like, in line at the grocery store, you know, with, like, you know, five bags of candy in my shopping cart. Um, you know, and I'm just being, like, totally honest with you right now and speaking totally off the cuff and I'm really not holding anything back.
And so [00:08:00] all this to say is I'm not going off social media. I'm not going to stop posting on social media. I'm not doing that. But my, my gut tells me that social media is not going to be the way that I'm going to continue to grow my business. Um, I just, I just don't think that that is going to be it. Um, and so I am really thinking about leaning in more to my email.
And maybe even to the podcast. I already do both of those things weekly. Um, I've been thinking about, and I put a survey in my email last week, by the time you hear this, it'll be a week later, but honestly, I'm recording this 20 minutes after I've sent that email. This is like the weird time, heady trip of podcasts sometimes.
Um. I'm thinking about maybe sending a second weekly email with some of the content that I would have, would have put on social, but putting it an email where I think people are more likely to see it, more likely to process it, more likely to have it be useful and helpful. Um, and maybe it's not an either or, maybe it's a both and, maybe it goes on social and an email, and then you see it twice, right?
Maybe that's a thing too, [00:09:00] because once is never. Um, and I'm, Really trying to, and I do this on behind the scenes all the time, I don't ever really talk about this stuff, like I really try and connect and network and make relationships, create relationships with people, um, to help grow my business, right?
And with collaborations and partnerships, right? And sometimes obviously, you know, hopefully with collaborations, like those things are mutually beneficial to whoever I'm working with. Um, but I really have to say that when I look back, when I look back at teaching yoga for nine years and I look back at the four years of my coaching business, that's 13 years I have been working for myself.
Doing my own thing, creating something out of nothing, it really kind of blows my mind that I'm actually going to get like a little choked up about it because I think I really don't give myself a lot of credit for what I do and what I have done. Um, I worked in, um, the corporate world for 10 years. I worked in advertising before I did any of this work and I changed careers when I had been.[00:10:00]
Um, I went back to work after, you know, for the first, like, four or five months of his life. And then I left and I did my first yoga teacher training. It was in 2013, um, and I started teaching like that same year. So 12 years ago, right? There's the 13, 14 years or 12, 13 years. And I have literally everything that I do for a living, I have created out of nothing.
Um, there was no one to say, do this, this is how you do it, or this is what you should do, or this is what you should specialize in, or this is how you should help people. I have figured it out based on what I have cared about, what I have been passionate about, where I saw a need or a space kind of like in the market, so to speak.
And I'm going to share something. I was journaling this week, and I'm actually going to read you a couple of lines from what I wrote when I journal. My handwriting is I mean, my family thinks my handwriting is god awful to begin with, when I journal, it's barely legible because I'm writing so fast. Um, so here, here's, here's what I'm gonna [00:11:00] read to you.
And this is really vulnerable that I am sharing this, and I'm questioning whether or not to do it, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Sometimes I feel like my job is made up. What am I doing? But then I'm like, maybe that's the most brilliant part about it. Because nobody else is doing this. Nobody else is helping these women.
Amazing things don't happen by copying what other people do. They come by believing in what you do. And I do believe in this work. So much.
And so that was kind of like an aha moment for me, right? Where the coaching industry is very unregulated. And that's part of the reason why I wanted to become board certified. Which was a pretty rigorous process to go through. And I'm so proud to have, uh, that credential and to have earned that and to really kind of set myself apart.
Um, but at the same [00:12:00] time, right, it's just, there's people out there who work for Beachbody that call themselves coaches, people who work for Isagenix that call themselves coaches, right? People who do like a weekend of training and call themselves a coach. Um, and there's nothing I can do about that, right?
Like let them, let them, let them do what they're going to do, but then let me, right? I'm pulling from Mel Robbins book. show up in a way that's in alignment with my values, right? Going back to my word of the year, align. And so the fact that, not nobody, like there's, but there's not a lot of people out there doing the work that I do.
There's a lot of people kind of on the two sides where there's tons of fat loss coaches, people helping you lose weight. There are a lot of kind of anti diet, full intuitive eating coaches out there, but there's not a lot of people who are kind of bridging that gap. Who are supporting you to change your body image, change your relationship with food, and acknowledging that that may also include fat loss.
Um, that's kind of a very unique place to be. Um, there aren't a lot of people who are talking about fat loss without tracking macros. [00:13:00] There also aren't a lot of people talking about changing your body image and. Fat loss being a part of that, not fat loss being the reason you change your body image, but those two things potentially happening alongside of each other, right?
Because two things can be true. So all this to say, this point of this podcast is not to like talk about what I do. Um, it's to say that sometimes I'm like, well, nobody else is doing this or very few people are doing this and all the reasons I listed about how hard it is to break through and kind of You know on social media and whatnot, but then I'm like, you know what?
That's what's so fucking great about it I don't want to copy what someone else is doing I'm doing what I do in the way that I do it because I love it and I believe in it and There's science to back it up and I believe in the coaching process and I have seen what has worked for many women. And I understand how to adapt it and how to meet people where they're at, not to just give you like a templated program.
Like people are like, Oh, like what's, what's kind of like your coaching process and protocol? I'm like, well, there [00:14:00] isn't one. And that's not to say it's like a free for all. Everyone works on the same types of skills over time, but it's not always in the same order because it depends on what's going on with you.
And so, yes, the skills are universal in terms of what we learn, but how they're applied, how they're relevant to the life, your life, how they show up for you and what order we learn them and do them, that is all based on your lifestyle, your preferences, your history, your goals. And so I am so proud of that work and I believe so much in what I do because I have seen the way that it has changed the lives of so many people.
I've seen the way that it has changed my own life and I know that there is such a huge, vastly underserved population of women out there who need the support and need this work. And we are basically in a world where unless you have a clinical eating disorder and are in treatment, Anything less than that is just considered kind of like, quote, normal.
Dieting is a way of life. [00:15:00] Constantly trying to lose weight is a way of life. Um, constantly being in fear of eating certain foods. Um, alternating between, you know, being on a diet and saying, Fuck it for two weeks and then going back on a diet. That's all normal, right? Think about all of your friends and all the women in your life that you talk to.
And like, that's what they're doing pretty much. The vast majority of women. And I'm here to tell you. It feels normal because it's so normalized and it's the only thing you know, but it is not normal. And there is another way to live where food and your body does not take up so much space in your brain that you can feel at ease around food and less stress and somehow I'm off on this crazy tangent.
Anyway, I'm off on a tangent because that's how much I believe in this work.
So here's, so where I'm at is that I feel like it's kind of like this rat race of like keeping up right this weekend. I don't know somewhere in like the Instagram feed, like it starts showing you like suggested reels, right? And I'm a human, right? So I get sucked in and I clicked on them. [00:16:00] And a bunch of them were like business type things and it's like, here's how to hook your reels.
Here's how to get, hey, here's how I grew my following right from 4, in like six months and all this crazy stuff. And I don't like necessarily believe that stuff, but it's like, here's how I went from getting 200 views to 5, 000 views on my reels, things like that. And I'm like, hmm, okay, I'll bite. And they give you this list of things to do.
And it's basically like. Copy what other people are doing. That's basically what they're telling you to do, right? That this is what the algorithm wants you to do, and so you have to do what everyone else is doing in order to do that. And I'm like, fuck that! Like, then it's like, what is the content that I'm, then it just feels forced, and it just feels fake, and it doesn't feel real, and that just feels so out of alignment to like, Create content that is what the algorithm wants so that my reels can get views, like, it just feels shitty.
And that's the downside of this free social media platform, right? They decide whose stuff they want to show and they're going to show people who are willing to play the game. And [00:17:00] guys, I'm just not sure that I'm willing to play that game. And again, it doesn't mean I'm going to stop showing up, but it might mean that I create stuff that most people never see.
And I have to be okay with that, right? I can't have it both ways. But my email and my podcast, the people who want to see it, I know will see it. And so thank you for listening and thank you for being here. Um, and this kind of leads me into What I need your help with and what I'm asking you for, right?
This is a very small podcast I've been publishing episodes for a little over four years. I just looked this morning I have almost 23, 000 downloads over four years that 23, 000 downloads sounds like a big number and it is But when you look at the grand scheme of things in terms of a podcast, it's very very very small And that's okay I'm so grateful for each person that this has connected to and so Here's, here's what I'm asking of you.
If you were listening to this episode, which you'd have to be listening to this [00:18:00] episode to hear the request, so I was going to say, or any other episode, I am asking for you to share this podcast with one person. Not even necessarily this episode, just the podcast in general. One person that you believe it could be helpful to.
Same thing with my email. Would you forward one of my emails to one person that you think it would be helpful to? Um, if you have any friends or family who you think could benefit from my work and not even necessarily, like, working with me, like, Paying me. I mean, just the content that I share, meaning subscribing to the podcast, being on the email list, following me on social media, any of those things.
Um, these things really matter. And when I'm asking you to share that with one person, I really mean one person. Um, because if everyone did that with one person, it would actually have a really huge impact. And so that's why I'm asking for help. Um, And that's why I'm saying this is not easy for me to do, right?
I've [00:19:00] never talked about this stuff before. Um, and I'm not looking to be like this super famous person on social media or anywhere. Um, I don't like, I'm not looking to have like, Oh my God, like I have so many clients. Like I don't, because I will only take on a certain number of clients because beyond that, then I can't.
Give the time, energy, and attention to people that I want them to have and that they need to have and that they deserve to have. So, um, and I'm never going to like, I'm not going to say never, I have no intentions or plan to like bring on another coach into my business and do that. Like this is me. It's a one woman show and I have no interest or desire for it to grow beyond that.
Um, but you sharing anything that I share with one person. Um, do not underestimate, underestimate, underestimate the impact of that. I think sometimes Sharon says so, talks a lot about this, that we think that if we can't do something major, then doing something small doesn't count and she has a different language for it.
But. It's, it's literally like these are like, these are the things that overlap [00:20:00] with the work, right? No action is too small to matter, right? It's like having protein at one meal a day is awesome, even if it's not three meals a day right now, right? You sharing something with one person is hugely helpful and you might think, oh, I'm not able to share it with ten different people.
I don't care. It doesn't matter. One person is hugely helpful for me and hugely helpful to them, right? So to me, there's like that. That it's like a double benefit, right? I get the benefit of bringing more people into this community and that person gets the benefit of now getting the support Which I think is pretty fucking awesome So it's like you're helping both people you're helping me and you're helping that other person um Obviously like referrals and I was starting to talk about this and I went on a huge tangent Referrals are the lifeblood of my business When I started to talk about five or six minutes ago about when I taught yoga and movement for nine years and then moved into coaching If I look back at all the women that I have worked with over that time, this is not an exact science, well more than half, probably closer into like I would say the 60 to 70 percent [00:21:00] range, are from referrals.
And that's huge. And I think that is the byproduct of the nature of the work that I do, the type of person that I am, in multiple different facets. So, if you can think of someone who would benefit from this work, perhaps beyond kind of the free content, which is wonderful, and again I already talked about that, um, I am incredibly grateful for that.
Um, and not everyone, and women I've worked with have obviously created a lot of those referrals. Sometimes this work is very personal and not everyone wants to share that they've done it and I totally get that. So even if you're someone who hasn't worked with me, right? And you know of someone who could benefit from this.
Those referrals mean everything. One referral means everything. The chance to connect with one woman who needs this support, who needs this work. is everything to me. Um, and just your feedback, leaving a review on this podcast, huge. [00:22:00] Um, literally will take you 30 seconds to write one line about your feelings on it or leave a, even just leave a star review.
Um, these little things really, really matter and they really help and, um, they, they make a difference. And so kind of the second part of this, and I'm going to try and wrap this up pretty soon. Is. If you have ideas for people or communities that I could connect with, and you're like, oh my god, it'd be so cool if Jordana talked to this person, or if she were part of this community, or she knew about this, reach out to me and tell me.
I would so appreciate it. Send me an email. I will put my email in DM on Instagram. Um, let me know because those types of relationships are invaluable. Like for instance, um, this spring I'm doing a workshop, um, a free workshop. It's open to the public at the Springfield Public Library. It's obviously local to my community, but it's not open just to the library members.
It's open to the community. Um, because [00:23:00] a former client of mine is the director there. And so I'm gonna go and do a free workshop there. Um, so if you, if you're like, Oh, it'd be so cool if Jordana came to my library, or if she did a Zoom workshop for this group that I'm in, this book club, this thing, this yoga studio, this, anything like that, I would be so grateful for those connections.
Um, and please do not underestimate the power of just one idea. Um, another kind of avenue that I'm going to try to pursue is building relationships, um, in the medical community, um, with doctors and allied health professionals. How often, how many times in your life have you been to a doctor and they're like, lose weight, eat less, exercise more, and they leave you, they're like, okay, bye, and you walk out of the office and you're overwhelmed and stressed out and you start another diet and you do it for four weeks and then the whole thing blows up in your face.
How awesome would it be to go to your doctor's office and have them refer you to a coach that could actually help you, not just with weight loss, but with the [00:24:00] skills around eating, with how you feel in your body, right? It would be amazing. Quite frankly, I feel like it would start to revolutionize our healthcare system.
I really feel that way. Resources like me, people just don't know about. And that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to create more ways for people to know that resources like this exist. And so if you have a doctor that you love, that you have a relationship with, and you're like, Oh, maybe Jordana would be like a good connection with this doctor I have.
I can't even tell you how grateful I would be for that connection. Um, anything in this area, right? If you have ideas of like, Oh, you know, like, reach out to this person, reach out to that person, send it my way, right? Um, and I work with a business coach and this isn't to say like, I am doing lots of stuff.
This is more about me, less about me saying like, Oh, what are your business strategies? I'm not asking for that. Um, just to be clear. Um, I'm in your market. I'm not asking for like marketing strategies. What I'm asking for is if you have communities or people or [00:25:00] networks that you think could be mutually beneficial between me and them, that's what I'm asking for.
Um, or if you would, if you were like, Oh, it'd be so cool if Jordana came and did a workshop for this group that I'm in or this group that I know of, whether it's in person, local in New Jersey, or Zoom, right? Those types of things. Um, That's really, you know, What I'm, what, not what this episode is about, but I'm, this is not comfortable for me to do at all.
I feel vulnerable. I feel, um, weird. I feel maybe even a little bit embarrassed. But you know what? I think that showing all the sides of something is so important. And I am looking at my word of the year right next to me. It's literally right here. If you're watching, here it is. And while this feels hard and uncomfortable, it also feels very much in alignment with how I want to run my business because I, the work that I do is personal, it is, um, deep, it is not superficial, it [00:26:00] is not transactional in nature, um, and so to do it in a way that's in alignment with my values is of utmost importance to me, and so that is why I am sharing this with you, and to also hopefully share that, like, Progress comes with being really uncomfortable and doing things that are outside our comfort zone and doing things that are not about instant gratification, right?
Because I could easily go on to social media and shift the way that I talk about my work in a flashier, sexier, before and after kind of way, but I won't do it. I won't do it. Right? I could do that and have more clients and make more money probably pretty quickly, but I won't do it. Because that would feed into the algorithm and I could do all this, but I won't do it because it's not in alignment with who I am.
It would feel disgusting and gross and I just would never do it. And so I am here asking for, I guess, support and help, um, to do things in a way [00:27:00] that is in alignment with my values.
I think that's it. It's got pretty long. Uh, if you made it the whole way, I'm hoping you did. Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you being here. Um, so much more than you probably will ever know. And, um, I'll be back next week with a more regular kind of podcast.