episode 212: you know what you need to do, but do you know how to make it happen?
Let’s get real: It’s not the what that’s holding you back—it’s the how.
You say you want to or need to:
Eat more protein.
Work out more.
Spend less time doom-scrolling on your phone.
But without a clear how, you’re stuck. Spinning your wheels. Getting frustrated. Feeling like you’re failing when really, you just don’t have a plan.
In this episode of The Diet Diaries, I’m breaking down:
Why your "how" is the missing link between where you are and where you want to be.
How to uncover your how so you can stop winging it and start crushing it.
What to do when you realize you don’t have a plan (spoiler: it’s not about trying harder).
If you’re tired of feeling like nothing is changing, this is the episode for you.
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212
[00:00:00] Hey everyone, episode 212 of the Di Diaries. Um, if you're a YouTube person, thanks for being patient with me while I basically forgot to record video for the last two episodes. I'm back today and I will really try not to forget moving forward. If you're not a YouTube person, this is irrelevant to you. Um, so 20th, It is Inauguration Day, uh, it is kind of crazy to think that by the time you listen to this, depending what time of day, or certainly if it's after this, that Donald Trump will be president of our country again.
Um, I don't have any announcements for today, and today's podcast is one of those ones where like, Something happened, nothing like bad or anything, but I got an idea and recorded the podcast right away. I actually, I think I've said this, I have like a pretty good list right now of podcast topics.
Sometimes I don't, sometimes I go week to week, and sometimes I get like a bank of ideas. I have a bank of ideas [00:01:00] right now, which is, It feels so good. And this one came up, um, as a result of something kind of interesting. So, um, Ben plays, uh, travel basketball, and Danny is head coaching his team this year.
Um, and they started off their season really well, four and one, and then they lost two games in a row this weekend. And kind of the whole vibe of the team was just different. One of the games was really competitive, and then the second game was like, not, like just like not playing well, like things are not clicking, kids are not doing what they need to be doing.
Um, it's frustrating for the players, it's frustrating as the coach, it's frustrating for the parents to watch, right? All the things. I'm not saying anything that's like new to anyone. And so I was talking to Danny about it, and like, you know, what do we need to do? What do we need to work on? Et cetera, et cetera.
Et cetera. And I kind of had an epiphany about it that I shared with him, but that totally applies [00:02:00] to the coaching work that I do and that you do, you know, on like the work on your own. And that is this idea of what and how. Right? We are, we always talk about the what. I want to lose weight. I want to eat more protein.
I want to go to the gym. I want to exercise more. I want to spend less time on my phone. I want to go to bed earlier. I want to read more books. Those are all the what. What am I going to do? Right? The what. Um, and in the context of basketball, we were talking about like, We need to rebound more. We need to make more shots.
We need to play better defense. Okay. Makes sense. But then the question becomes, well, how am I going to do that? Right? Saying to yourself or telling your player to make more rebounds or saying to yourself, eat more protein is like, okay, well, how am I going to do that? That's a really, that is like the crux of the whole thing.
It's not the what, it's the how. So, how are you going to eat more protein? And this is where you have to get specific, right? [00:03:00] And this is very action oriented. What are you doing? Yes, eating more protein is an action, but how am I going to make that happen, right? Does that look like, am I going to focus on a specific meal?
Am I going to make a shopping list and schedule when I'm going to the grocery store? Am I going to do meal prep? Am I going to have, Can let you know pre packaged options, whatever it is. How am I going to make that happen? This applies to anything. I want to exercise more. That's the what. How? How am I gonna make that happen?
Am I gonna exercise at home? Am I going to exercise? at a gym? Am I going to take a class? Am I, where am I going to get my programming from? What am I going to do? When am I going to do it? These are the hows. And so often we just focus on the what, and then it's like we don't make progress or nothing changes.
We keep doing what we've been doing and it's because we never figured out the how. So we're just kind of like flailing around, right? It's like, okay, basketball team is missing a [00:04:00] lot of layups. We need to make more layups. Well, how are we going to do that? Something needs to change. Just saying, guys, go out and make more layups, nothing is going to change.
Just like saying to yourself, oh, go eat more protein, nothing's really going to change. Maybe here and there, you might eat a little bit more protein, but if you don't know how you're doing that, in the moment, you don't know what to do, nothing's going to change. You're thinking to yourself, okay, I know I need to eat more protein.
Okay, I know I need to make this layup. I know I need to get this rebound, but how am I going to do it? If you don't know what the how, then you're going to keep doing what you were already doing because you literally don't know what else to do. And I don't know, this kind of feels like, I feel kind of like, well, have I really not thought about this before?
It feels like really obvious. And maybe I have talked about it in another way. But whether I have or I haven't doesn't matter. But I feel like this is kind of, I don't know, like a little bit of like an aha. In terms of thinking about why. We don't do the things we want to do or we struggle with it and On the [00:05:00] flip side of that giving you kind of a framework to do that, right?
It's very easy to your say to yourself. Is this the what or is this the how? right you know Pausing and saying that you know, you say I want to lose weight. I want to get stronger I Want to spend less time on my phone. I want to spend less time on social media. I want to eat more vegetables. I want to drink more water.
Those are the what's. Then you say, well, how, how am I going to do that? What's my how? And you could probably go a couple of deep, right? Because the next thing that you say, You know, it might not be detailed enough, but it's gonna be at least more specific than just this generalized goal. Which again, is like, this comes back to kind of like outcome versus action, which I did talk about a few weeks ago around like New Year's, which I often do, is like focus on your actions, not your outcomes.
I think this is maybe a different way of saying that, that maybe feels even relevant because it gives you a check in in the moment, like day to day, where you can say [00:06:00] to yourself, is this my what or is this my how? Do I know how I'm going to do this? That's a really easy question to ask yourself. How am I going to do this?
Right? If you're saying to yourself, I want to eat more vegetables, or I want to stop snacking between meals, or I want to stop eating, you know, late at night. Okay, cool. Then you say to yourself, well, how am I going to do that? And if you don't have the answer to that, like, you're going to get stuck. And then you're just going to get pissed off and frustrated that nothing is changing.
And then you're going to blame yourself and say, I'm not lazy or I'm lazy. I'm not motivated, all the things. It's not that. It's because you didn't have your how in place, which is often the skills, right? Which we talk about. So ask yourself, what's my how? How am I gonna do this thing? And you've got to have an answer.
And if you don't have an answer, then it's like, okay, well, I need to like recalibrate here. Is this something that I really have the capacity to do? Is it something that I maybe need to get support to do if I don't even know how I'm going to do this? Are these things realistic? The how matters. [00:07:00] Otherwise you are just, again, you're going to get stuck.
Nothing is going to change. You're going to keep doing what you've always been doing, because you don't know how to do the thing that you want to do. If you did, you'd already be doing it. The how is like the missing piece. So, that's really it. I'm going to start using this for myself, right? I'm always doing this work right alongside you.
Um, I hope this is helpful. Love to hear if you implement it, if it feels helpful or not. Um, and thanks for listening. Thanks for being here. The podcast has been like, had like an uptick in downloads lately, which is awesome. So thank you for listening. If you shared it, I so appreciate it. podcast in the world of podcasting, and that's fine.
Um, but, Anytime you share it with someone that you think, with whom you think it could be helpful, I totally, that, grammatically that makes no sense. You get the idea. Um, you help someone out, right? And you show them what's possible and you give them a resource they didn't have. Um, because I do think [00:08:00] this podcast is a really pretty fucking amazing resource.
Um, okay. That's it. A nice and short one. I love short episodes. And, um, I'll see you all next week.