episode 213: why you can’t believe everything you think

Jan 27

This week, I’m tackling something pretty big: the idea that just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true.

Sounds simple. But it isn’t…which is why we’re talking about it!

Because when it comes to food, your body, and all those self-critical thoughts, this concept can change everything.

Ever caught yourself thinking, I look disgusting or I can’t wear this? What if those were just stories your brain was telling—and you didn’t have to listen? This episode breaks down how to separate yourself from the constant stream of negativity and start showing up in alignment with your values instead.

Here’s a sneak peek at what we’ll cover:

Why your brain loves to confuse thoughts with facts (and how to stop falling for it).
The easiest first step to stop self-critical thoughts from running your day.
How to turn down the volume on the stories that keep you stuck in the vicious cycle

P.S. If you’re not on the email list yet, what are you waiting for? I’m offering a special rate for 1:1 coaching only for folks on this list because I appreciate you so much. So add your name here and come get even more personal stories, free coaching and helpful resources I love and use personally.

213
[00:00:00] Hey friends, thanks for being here. This is episode 213, I think, of A Diet Diaries. Quick announcement, um, at the end of February, early March, I'm going to be taking on three to five new one to one clients, which I'm very excited to have space to bring in more people. And because I really never take for granted, um, people who let me take up space in their email inbox, which to be honest, I feel like is really sacred space.
I ruthlessly unsubscribe from emails. Um, I hope you do too. So, um, I wanted to offer a special rate to people who are on my email list. So if you are, you know, Even if you're not considering one to one coaching, I send really fucking good emails. They are not just duplicates of what I talk about in the podcast.
It's totally different. They're basically like personal letters. Um, I share a lot of personal stuff. I [00:01:00] give like coaching tips and free coaching and talk about client stories. And it's just like, literally, it's like a personal letter that I'm like writing to a friend. Um, I'm writing to like my community of people, which I definitely do feel very connected to.
So anyway, um, those people are going to be able to Join one to one coaching with a specially discounted rate. So if you If you are interested in getting really good emails that are actually super helpful and not just like newsletters full of crap and like product discounts, um, and, or if you are interested even remotely in one to one coaching, join the list so you can get that rate because it's only going to be available to people who are on my list.
And the link to that is in the show notes. Okay, I'm literally deciding what to talk about as I am sitting here, because again, I have a couple, I have like a good, like a nice list of ideas for podcasts. I want this to be a quick one. One, because I don't have a ton of time to record today. And two, just because I'm totally in this like, shorter is [00:02:00] not better, but shorter is nice.
And so this is kind of like me in real time. Something is better than nothing, or I don't have a ton of time today, but I wasn't like, Oh, screw it. I'm not going to do it today. I knew this was like my time slot to get the podcast recorded. So I'm going to make it work. in a way that works. So, I think I am going to go with this concept, uh, because it's been coming up so much with clients and so much in, honestly, my own personal work.
And this is the idea that thoughts are not facts and that we are under no obligation to listen to what our thoughts are telling us to do or telling us to information about ourselves. Our thoughts are not orders or mandates, they are simply thoughts. They are words that pass through our brain that create stories and that do create beliefs, but they are not facts.
A fact is the sky is blue. A thought that we have is Oh, the sky is such a pretty shade of blue today, [00:03:00] right? It's kind of goes back to like the opinions versus facts, which I've talked about before, but we often, this is kind of a specific situation of that because we often think that our thoughts are facts.
And if I'm thinking this, well, it must be true. And it's often not the case, especially let's kind of get even more laser focused when we're thinking about, you know, So, food and our bodies and working out. We have so many stories and so many beliefs, and it's not to say that the experience of hearing those stories and feeling those beliefs and believing those beliefs, that's true.
Like, of course, that's very real. But our opportunity for change is in acknowledging that these stories and beliefs made up of our thoughts are not facts and that we don't have to listen to them just because we think Doesn't mean we have to do it. Doesn't mean we have to follow through on it. Doesn't mean that it's true.
Doesn't mean that we have to take action on it. Um, you know, like here's a for instance, you're getting dressed, you're putting on an outfit, you look in the mirror and you're like, I look disgusting. I look fat. [00:04:00] I look gross. I'm ugly. I can't wear this. I have no business wearing this. I'm just gonna go put on like leggings and a sweatshirt.
Okay? Those are all thoughts. Those are not facts. And so the work is not to try and like shut those off or to change those thoughts, but to choose how we respond to them. Right? We don't have to listen to them. Just like you don't have to listen to another person when they're talking. Sometimes you don't have to listen.
Your thoughts are kind of like your, is like your brain talking to you. And sometimes it's going to say really helpful stuff. And sometimes it's going to say really unhelpful stuff. And sometimes the work is Getting clear on this is helpful or unhelpful. And a good way to know that is if it's really mean and cruel and nasty, it's not helpful because change does not happen from being really mean and cruel and nasty, right?
Would you try to get your kid to change by being really mean and cruel and nasty to them? Probably not. Um, so just being able to [00:05:00] notice when this is happening and kind of call it out for what it is, is really the first step is when you notice. Thoughts happening that feel overwhelming or stressful or negative or really critical.
So say, oh, there's my thoughts. Those are not facts. I don't have to listen to them. And that's, as a first step, all you need to do. And I don't say all you need to do in like this, it's so easy kind of way, but it's simple. It's not some crazy process that you have to work through. It's not this big like psychoanalysis.
It's not like revisiting your childhood trauma. It's just noticing the thoughts, saying, oh, there's my brain thinking that story again. That's not a fact. I don't have to listen to it. And with practice, with consistency, that will start to create space between you and the thoughts. Because your thoughts are not you, they do not define you.
The part of your brain that thinks those thoughts, it's automatic, it's reflexive. The part of you that actually takes action on things, that's, that's you. [00:06:00] That's your autonomous being and you have say over that. You get to choose whether you respond to your thoughts. You have a choice in that. You might not think that you do, but you do.
And recognizing that and realizing that is essential. That's actually really the first thing. is to recognize that you have a choice in how you respond to your thoughts. And the first choice that you can make is to acknowledge that you have that choice and say, oh, there's my brain, telling me that story again.
I don't have to listen to that. I don't have to follow through on that. That is not true. And slowly over time, with repetition, with consistency, again, that will create space between you and your thoughts. It will help you realize that you have options. It will start to turn down the volume on the thoughts.
It will start to turn down the frequency. And it will help you realize how much autonomy you have, that you are capable of taking action in a way that's in alignment with your values. Not with [00:07:00] your thoughts, because those are not, sometimes they overlap, but very often they don't, especially when it comes to food and body stuff, because we are usually very mean, very self critical, very self abusive, which is not in alignment with our values, for pretty much anyone, unless one of your values is like, being an asshole to yourself.
Um, so, um, giving yourself space to realize that the thoughts that your brain is thinking is based on very deep conditioning, is based on entire life of lived experiences, and the work that you were doing in the moment is based on your values. And you have to figure out how those things both separate and overlap.
And again, I think that Thoughts are different than values is a really, I think, hopefully helpful and important distinction. So again, I'm trying, I'm, I'm always hoping not all the episodes, but most of them are giving you a, a practical skill, something to work on, something to take away and practice. And so for today, right, that's starting to [00:08:00] acknowledge and accept that your thoughts are not facts.
And knowing that you have a choice in how you respond to your thoughts, you don't have to listen to them. And then going through the process of actually doing that, saying to yourself, Oh, there's my brain thinking that thing again, or telling me that story. I don't have to listen to it so that you are creating space to then take action in alignment with your values.
Right away, right off the bat, just doing those initial awareness kind of actions and knowing you don't have to listen to those thoughts. That is action in alignment with your values. They're already doing it. And then there's more actions you can take beyond that, which kind of becomes like a separate episode, but.
This is the foundation and really a huge part of the work. This is true for thoughts you have about food, labeling foods as good and bad, how much food you're allowed to eat, how much food you should eat, how hard you worked out, why you're exercising, what you look like in the mirror, what clothes you are or quote aren't [00:09:00] allowed to wear, what your body looks like, what you look like compared to another woman, what you think people expect you to look like.
All of this, all of the thoughts you have around these things, and more. Right? This is not an all encompassing list, but just to give you a sense of like where to start to really pay attention. And this is true for anything in life, but I'm keeping it focused on what we talk about here. These are the areas where you want to start to pay attention.
What are the thoughts going through your head about these topics? Because they are going through your head so many times a day that you couldn't even count them if you tried. And so can we start to notice them? Can we start to kind of catch them and call them out? And then you'll start to know, once you start doing it, you'll start to realize how often it happens.
And then it's like, Oh my God, I don't have to listen to all this. I don't, they don't, my thoughts are not the boss of me. Right? My thoughts are not the boss of me. I'm the boss of me, but my thoughts are not me. And I know it sounds like a little like heady and existential, but your thoughts are, are [00:10:00] automatically our reflexes.
We can't control them, but we can control how we respond to them. Right? And that's what this is about. And acknowledging that we can choose how we respond to them is that, is that, um, taking action and how we respond to them. So, somehow I talked about this for longer than I thought I would, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna stop it there.
Again, if you want to join the email list, because I send really good stuff that's just as good as the podcast. Um, I was gonna say maybe if not better, but I think they're both equal. Um, and you just want to have the option for the special rate for one to one coaching. Add your name. That's it. I'll be back next week.
And, uh, thanks for being here.