episode 176: there is no such thing as a summer body
Hey everyone! Thanks for listening to episode 176 of The Diet Diaries.
Today’s episode is an "I see you, I hear you, and we're in this together" kind of episode that came out of an accidental trip into the Instagram black hole of summer body transformations, before and after photos and flat ab recipes.
If you’ve ever wondered why you have body image issues, listen up.
It’s infuriating to see so much emphasis on one "ideal" body type—especially coming from other women. It's even tougher to swallow how we glorify such unrealistic standards.
As always, this got me thinking about the deeper issues of body image that affect all of us, regardless of size. From size 2 to size 22, the struggles are real, but the representation? Not so much. We idealize the smaller sizes and shame the larger ones, which just perpetuates the cycle of insecurity and unrealistic expectations.
In this episode, you’ll hear real talk about the pressures and frustrations that come with these images and messages. I talk about the importance of recognizing the diversity of body types and accepting them all. Why is there only one "acceptable" way to look?
As summer approaches and we start shedding layers of clothes, it’s essential to address the body image issues that can surface. I always want you to know you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed or frustrated by what you see online. We’re in this together, and we can choose to follow and support voices that make us feel better, not worse.
So...Soft Body Summer is coming. Three weeks to create your own personalized step by step guide to deal with summer focused body insecurity alongside a community of women. Over these three weeks you'll, learn, customize and practice 3 specific skills that you can take with you all season (and beyond) to have your most confident, easeful summer yet 😎 More details very soon!
Take a listen to episodes 169 and 148 for more helpful tips to improve your body image issues.
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176
[00:00:00] Hey everyone. Hi. Welcome back. Episode 176 of the diet diaries. We are creeping our way to 200, which is super cool. Um, so today's episode is one of those like, Oh my god, I'm really, I have an idea. I need to talk about this. I'm feeling frustrated and upset and angry. I need to vent kind of episode. So just a heads up.
Um, it's not going to be super like skill based. It's going to be more like I see you, I hear you, I feel you, we are in this together based. Um, and I also have an announcement at the end. Um, which is not like totally new news. I talked about it a little bit on Instagram. I talked about it a lot in last week's email.
So if you're on my email list, you're already going to know this. So here's, here's kind of like the deal. Um, from where I am today, today's Monday, April 22nd, about a week ago, maybe a little bit less, I got sucked into [00:01:00] the Instagram black hole. I have done a lot of work with Instagram. I still have a lot left to go, but I do a really good job of not going onto the explore page, not like hate following people, not looking up people that I don't follow, but I'm like wondering what they're posting.
I'm not 100%, I'm not perfect, but I've gotten a lot better at that stuff. But sometimes shit happens. And so this one night, again, about a week ago or less, I somehow ended up in the Explore page. And between that and this feature, which I finally learned how to shut off, where Instagram puts suggested threads, like, into your feed, I was getting a lot of, like, summer stuff, a lot of, like, body transformation stuff, a lot of before and after pictures.
And obviously some of this, like, I was, I was seeing it, and I'm clicking on it because I'm curious, like, what are these people saying? What are they talking about? Almost to kind of, like, get myself riled up, right? So I take full responsibility with this. But also this stuff is out there in the universe.
And if you're listening, you've probably done that too, where you are doing it, you know people who are [00:02:00] doing it. And it was so much around like summer resets. I saw so many like people whose whole platform is like, how did, what I eat in a day to have visible abs, what I eat in a day as a woman over 40 to have visible abs, how I stay lean year round, how I get lean for summer.
And all of the women. Looked very similar, had a very similar body type, the stereotypical, quote, fit, small, thin, that we have grown up idealizing, objectifying, obsessing over, and being told that this is, this is how you need to look, this is what's hot, this is what's sexy, this is what's healthy, this is what's fit, this is what's normal, all of these things.
And you guys, I got so riled up. I'm getting riled up again now talking about it. And it was just the glorification of this one body type. And honestly, part of what got me really upset [00:03:00] was like, this is women doing this to other women. And that's really, it's a really hard pill to swallow. I'm not going to lie.
Um, because the truth is that women in any body size suffer from body image issues, whether you are a size two or a size 22. The differentiator is that the size 22 is completely not represented in society. They are fat shamed. People have fat phobia against people in that size body. Whereas the size two, we idealize them and think, Oh my God, they're so thin, their life must be perfect.
Not true. Could not be further from the truth. So my feeling is that there's actually, well, the representation issue is massive and that's like something I talk about a lot. I also think that there's a really big misunderstanding where we think that because a woman is a certain size that her life is better than ours internally.
Externally, societally, culturally, yes, certainly there is a bias against people in bigger bodies that people in smaller bodies do not have 100%. But internally. What [00:04:00] we are facing, thinking, feeling is not the same in terms of the specific challenges and thoughts, but the same in that we're all going through it.
So, I just like, the reality though is that sometimes if you, like, not looking like that, right, not having that, that small size, that flat stomach, and all these things, it feels like hard to exist in this world. And yes, it's certainly harder for certain populations of people than others. I know that I carry a form of thin privilege.
I take a size 12 and I absolutely carry a form of thin privilege that someone in a size 18, 20, 22, 24, and certainly above, does not have. And I struggle with my body, deeply. I work on it, very much, and I've made a lot of progress. It is ongoing work for life. Um, and I just, like, I got so sad, and so frustrated, and so angry, and upset, and all of the [00:05:00] things seeing this.
And still, it's like, In some ways it feels like we're making a lot of progress, like when you get the Somersault catalog every summer and there's women of much like diverse body types, great NIC models on like Shopbop and Madewell and Reformation in sizes 12, 14, 16. And then there's still this on social media, people profiting, people making money, people shaming, people idealizing, people not talking about the reality of genetics and lifestyle and preferences and the work that goes into this.
And people talking about like, oh, here's all the things that I do. And it's totally fucking unrealistic. And there's no trust and there's no way to know whether these people are being honest. I don't think that they are. And then we go off and we try to do these things or think that we're not as good of a person because we're not doing these things and then it's just like we're stuck in this terrible, terrible cycle.
And I've spoke, I did an episode about this probably at this point like four or six weeks ago. There's an Instagram influencer that I used to follow [00:06:00] who I don't follow anymore. Um, she was one of the people that came up into my feed, right? Because even though I don't follow her anymore, you know, the algorithm does its thing.
So she popped up in this black hole. night and I clicked on it and she lost, used to be a size 12 and did a lot of like, I'm an apple shape and here's like how to dress your body for an apple shape and a lot of like solidarity and you're not alone and it's okay to not be in like a smaller body, all of that type stuff.
She lost a bunch of weight, got a tummy tuck and a boob job recently and her body looks totally different. And she's totally changed, like, her platform, right? She's like, now I'm like a size 6 or an 8 and I just talk about, like, whatever fashion stuff. This is, like, what's on her profile. And it just, like, look, it's her body.
She can do what she wants. And I'm sure the level of discomfort that she is dealing with internally must be tremendous to go through all of that. But it's still frustrating, right? Because it feels like here's another person who kind [00:07:00] of kind of felt like they were on our team, like walking away and doing like, and trying to fix it and trying to get out of it.
Well, there, there is no fix. Like there is no fix. I've talked about this. I've had a nose job. I had a plastic surgery. There is like no fix. There is work. And I just want to let you know that like, you are not like alone in this. And that if you're seeing all this stuff on social media, which I am sure that you are, You don't have to do that.
There is way more than one body type to exist in and to live in. And that a smaller body is not better than a bigger body. And that's not me ignoring sometimes the health outcomes of people who have extra body fat, right? That is a very real thing. I'm never going to say that it's not. I coach people with fat loss.
I always openly say this. But these things can coexist. And Um, losing weight or being, um, or, or, um, [00:08:00] because of wanting to take care of your health and feel better. First of all, it doesn't mean you have to be like a certain small size or that you have to look a certain way. Um, there's so much diversity and variety based on genetics and, and just the natural differences in, in us.
We have different skin color, hair color, eye color, heights, um, body shapes, big boobs, small boobs, big hips, little hips, um, different sized feet, different shaped fingernails. All these things about us are different and we don't. Make a big deal about it, but then it comes to like, body size and shape, it's like boom, we can only exist in one, there is only one, that's it, there is only one.
Imagine if you could only have one hair color, or one eye color, or one shaped nose, or one, one height, and that was it. That was the only one, and if you weren't that, you are ugly, you're gross, you're terrible, you're unworthy. I mean, what the fuck? Right? Like this is basically like where this is at. [00:09:00] And seeing all this and coming from other women is like, it's really heartbreaking.
And in some respects I get it in that like they're in security and they're trying to make money and they're opportunizing off of, you know, people's pain points and people's misery and people's lifelong obsession with looking a certain way. They're like, great, I can make money off this. Yeah, you can. Um, is that aligned with your values and how you want to show up in the world?
Are you really helping these women or are you giving them like a short term fix? And so that is why I feel so deeply passionate about the work that I do and I just wanted to come on and talk about this. Um, and let you know that like if you are doing this work and you are not giving in to the instant gratification of a quick fix, you are not alone.
I am with you. There are other women that are with you and we are in this together and we will always be in it together. I will never walk away from this and I will never walk away from you. Because we need each other. We need to know that we're not the only ones out there, because social media will tell you otherwise.
Even when you're trying not to see that. [00:10:00] And I want to talk about like the people that I follow, some of my favorite people to follow, um, around kind of fashion, body stuff, how to dress a body that is not, um, kind of like the idealized body type or size, are Maxi Green, Carolyn Moran Cook, who's been on this podcast, um, Sarah Landry of The Bird's Papaya, um, uh, Shelby Say What, who does a, like, a lot of unboxing and clothes stuff I don't like, but she just this past weekend got her belly button pierced and openly talked about, like, how She used to have her belly button pierced when she was really thin and small, and then she had kids, she gained weight, she has not bounced back, is not trying to bounce back, and was like, my belly is jiggly and round and full and I'm getting my belly button pierced anyway because it makes me happy and I like it.
I thought it was fucking awesome. Awesome. That is the kind of stuff we need to see more of. That is why I share pictures of myself in a two piece bathing suit with my stomach rolling over and it bulging and doing all that because that is real life. That is what it is to live in [00:11:00] a real human body and not, and that's not to say that all bodies are real, but it's not abnormal for your body to roll and jiggle and squiggle and bounce and squish and all of these things.
Like, that's not abnormal. There's nothing wrong with that. It's normal. We've just been told that it's not. We've just been told that bodies that don't do that are the best kind. And I'm not saying anything new today, I'm just saying it kind of in the context of what I was seeing, letting you know that I'm still working on this, letting you know that you're not alone, And especially because it's when you're listening to this April 29th and like summer is like coming full force and a lot of times the body image stuff really picks up around this time of year, understandably, we're in, um, uh, less clothing, bathing suits, shorts, clothing that is revealing parts of our body that we are less comfortable with.
And so, I just, part of this was me wanting to say like, [00:12:00] social media can be a dangerous place. And yes, like, it was bigger conversations around that. And I mean that like, seriously, like facetiously, but seriously, like stay alert, pay attention to what's in your feed. On Instagram, you can right click those three little dots and, and put in like a preference.
If there's stuff in your feed that's showing up. I did that with the threads. Notice if you're going into your explore page the more you tap on things the more it's gonna feed that into you So I know you get the urge to click I did it happens But notice pause put your phone down take a breath follow people who are Have bodies that look like yours or that represent the body type that you exist in even if they don't look exactly like yours Watch women who have belly rolls and larger thighs and body fat getting dressed and shopping and putting on clothes Watch them see them walk around in bathing suits.
It helps it matters. It makes a difference [00:13:00] And I know you'll look at them and say oh my god, they have so much confidence. I could never do that. Guess what? You Like, they didn't always have that confidence. You have to start believing in yourself. You have to stop speaking negatively to yourself. You're not going to get confidence by saying, Oh my God, I look so disgusting.
I'm too fat to wear this. This is gross. You're never going to get confidence if that's how you're talking to yourself. You have to start to flip that language around and be kind to yourself, be understanding with yourself, start to acknowledge and accept the reality of what a human body is and what a human body isn't and the diversity of what it means to exist and live in a human body.
Thank you. Um, and so, kind of like to wrap this up, I think, I think I said at the beginning there was going to be an announcement, I'm getting there. As I was looking at all this and getting upset and frustrated and kind of sharing, all this what I just talked about was literally going through my head.
Like, I want to do something. I want to offer support. I want us to know that we're not alone. I'm telling you you're not alone. Like, here's how you're gonna know you're not [00:14:00] alone. And I love alliteration. If you've ever noticed, a lot of the the names and programs and things I come up with always have alliteration.
If you're not familiar with alliteration, it's when the words in like a sentence or like a phrase start with the same letter. I think actually alliteration is a consonant and there's a different one if it's a vowel, but whatever. Um, like eat with ease, the two E's. Soft body summer. That's the thing.
That's what's happening. Soft body summer. Um, and I was kind of partially inspired by by Shelby on Shelby Say What. She talks, she does like soft body workouts. She talks a lot about the idea of like a soft body, but um, soft body summer. I checked the hashtag, like no one's using that thing. So guess what?
I'm staking my claim on it. And here's what soft body summer is. It's gonna be support. It's gonna be three weeks. Like a DIY. This is not group coaching. There's no zoom calls. DIY with a community aspect. So it's going to be deliberate on email, and then there's going to be a group chat, probably on Instagram.
The reason I'm going to do it on Instagram is because that is where a lot of the source of some of these issues come from. And [00:15:00] I think it's nice to have support right in there where it's happening. Um, It's gonna be focused on three specific skills that I'm gonna walk you through step by step how to customize and personalize them for you, right?
So I'm not just gonna give you generic skills This is gonna be a lot more kind of in depth and like nourishing notes was like one skill every day And it was very surface level helpful, but surface level. This is gonna go deeper than that. It's gonna get specific I'm gonna talk you through how to Customize it for you, how to practice it.
And the goal with this is one skill per week, three weeks of three specific skills. And then walking out of that, you kind of have a blueprint, a roadmap, a guide, or whatever you want to call it for the rest of the summer and beyond. So you can carry these skills with you and keep practicing them. You are set up at the beginning of the season to go into the season, feeling more confident and feeling more at ease.
That is the goal of this. And then obviously it carries way beyond summer because these are not like season specific. They're just season heightened right now. [00:16:00] So That's really it. Um, this is what I wanted to share with you. Thank you for listening I know this wasn't like a go try this skill kind of episode again Not every episode is about that sometimes part of this is just knowing that you're not alone that I Deal with the same frustrations and fears and all of that that you do and we are in it together.
And then I want to help. And this is gonna be super affordable, too. I forgot to mention that. This is not gonna be expensive, um, because I really want this to be accessible to as many people who need it as possible. So I'm gonna talk more about it. The timing, I don't know. I'm thinking like probably late May into early June, like right into that sweet spot of when summer is really ramping up.
Um, probably overlapping Memorial Day, so sometime around there. You'll hear lots more about it. Um, and that's it for today. Thanks for being here. And I will always, of course, be back next week.