episode 169: why gaining weight can be a good thing
Episode 169 of The Diet Diaries talks about something we don’t often want to talk about: gaining weight.
Can gaining weight be good? Why would we need or want to gain weight? Is there such a thing as good or bad weight gain?
Can you improve body image issues by gaining weight?
We are so brainwashed that weight gain is bad under any circumstances—and as always, that extreme, all or nothing thinking oversimplifies the complexity of being a human.
There are MANY circumstances where gaining weight is healthy and needed. So how do you know what’s right for you?
How to figure out why you’ve gained weight
The difference between ideal weight and best weight
The role of mental health
Situations/circumstances when gaining weight is normal
How your history with food and dieting fits in
How does gaining weight impact body image issues?
I’m taking on new 1:1 clients! Schedule a consult if you want to talk more about what’s been going on with you and how 1:1 coaching could support you to make changes around your relationship with food, body image, weight loss without dieting, behavior change and exercise.
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[00:00:00] Hey friends, welcome back to The Diet Diaries. Today is episode 169, and I have just gotten Invisalign a few hours ago, so if my speech seems a little weird, that is why. Um, it feels a little different. It's, I'm, now I've had these things in my mouth for like, I don't know, almost three hours. I'm getting annoyed by them and I want to take them out, but I can't.
[00:00:30] Um, so for all of you that have had Invisalign, please let me know that it gets better. I'm assuming that it does. I know the nervous system will adapt in my mouth. The nerve endings in my mouth are just like, whoa, what is this weird thing in here? I know they will get used to it in a couple of weeks. I won't even realize that it's there.
[00:00:46] Um, but it's definitely weird and I'm like, wow, 18 months of this, interesting. And today is day one. Um, it's a really good reminder that it's just like, I don't need to think about six months from now. I just need to think about like adapting to this and getting used to it. Like today, um, we tend to like really let our brains or our brains like to jump really far ahead.
[00:01:09] And really the only thing I can work on is like today, so it's a good reminder for that practice. Um, also another big announcement is that, and you've been listening to the podcast, right? So I had made this announcement the last two weeks, um, that I was opening up one to one spots for personalized coaching and that I had offered that at the, um, kind of the previous rate.
[00:01:29] Um, real talk, that rate has since now expired. Um, so now, uh, one to one coaching spots are open, um, to set up a discovery call in the next two weeks if you've been thinking about working together. Um, it is now at the new increased rate, just real talk. Um, but that's like, I love this work and, um, sometimes it's not always easy for me to do, like, the business money side of things, like, just being honest.
[00:01:54] But, um, that's something that I am working on that makes me uncomfortable. So. My prices have gone up. Um, I have Really just progressed so much as a coach and invested in myself. I'm in the process of becoming board certified Which is going to happen later this year And I'm really proud of the investment that coaching is and what I offer.
[00:02:14] So Um, if you're interested, link in the show notes to book a discovery call to see if it's a good fit. No obligation, just a chance to talk, get to know each other. That's totally free. Um, okay, so here's what I want to talk about today. This is one of those episodes where the idea kind of popped into my head out of nowhere and I'm like, oh my God, that'd be a great podcast episode.
[00:02:34] So here's, here's what I was thinking about yesterday. Is it always bad? To gain weight and I say that I actually don't like the tone of voice that I said that in because really the truth is it is not always bad to gain weight. Sometimes it is good to gain weight. And as usual, it always comes down to the why.
[00:02:53] And so I wanted to talk about this because we live in a culture where weight gain for any reason, under any circumstances, pretty much is considered to be bad. Um, if we see someone that has gained weight, we have certain thoughts about that. If we ourselves have gained weight, we have certain thoughts about that.
[00:03:09] And it's just, that's way too reductionist of a view. And Because the reality is there are actually many situations where gaining weight is a good thing. And It's obviously very nuanced because, yes, the amount of weight matters, um, how it comes on to your body matters, and we don't really have control over that.
[00:03:31] That doesn't mean it doesn't matter, right? We know that carrying a lot of weight, um, around the belly, um, puts you at higher risk for metabolic disease, cardiovascular disease, than carrying weight in your, um, tush and thighs. Except there's, that's totally genetic. You cannot really control that. Doesn't mean it doesn't matter.
[00:03:50] Right? So there's always like a both and here. And so I wanted to talk about, and this is a little bit, I had a conversation with a client recently who has recently gained some weight due to a medication. Right. And she's struggling with it. It's hard. And I totally get it. Like on one hand, this medication has really helped certain aspects of her well being.
[00:04:07] And on the other hand, at the same time, it's made her gain weight. And now her clothes are tight and not fitting, and she's feeling uncomfortable in her body. And so it's like, how do we reconcile that? What do we do with that? And so I think there's a lot of times in life where we go through this, where our bodies change.
[00:04:21] And there's a difference certainly between gaining 10 pounds and gaining 50 pounds. Um, and I think what I wanted to talk about here is what What's behind the weight gain? Right? So here's what I mean by that. Um, if you are someone who has been restricting food for a period of time, and dieting, and, uh, being very punitive with food, and really just restricting types of food, amounts of food, and you've lost weight as a result, But as a result of that weight loss and as a result of that restriction your mental health has like gone into the shitter, right?
[00:04:58] You're stressed. You're anxious. You're on edge all the time trying to feel like you want to like control everything around food And it's just you guys I think pretty much everyone's who's listening to this knows what I'm talking about right so if you're in that place and your body weighs X amount and then you start to realize that your quality of life is crap because of how you feel around food and you start to do some Work around that and you gain a little bit of weight And as a result, your mental health improves.
[00:05:25] And your body weight is in a healthy place, right? Your biomarkers are good. You're feeling good. You're moving. You're exercising. All of that is in place. That's a good thing, right? This goes back to the conversation around like ideal weight slash goal weight and your best weight, right? Your best weight is always going to be the weight at which you feel at ease around food and are making no, zero, zilch, not a single one.
[00:05:51] Mental or emotional sacrifice around food. Now a mental or emotional sacrifice is not the same thing as being uncomfortable, not the same thing as being aware of portions, not the same thing as putting structure in place, right? You know the difference, right? And so sometimes in order for people to get to that place, feeling at ease around food and not having any emotional or mental, uh, consequences means that weight gain needs to happen, right?
[00:06:19] Because you can't maintain a body weight without. overly restricting food and Constantly feeling stressed and on edge and obsessed with when you're allowed to eat what you ate. How are you gonna burn it off? then like on the flip side of that if you're someone who has is gaining weight or has gained weight because of your using food to cope with emotions on like a very consistent basis and you're gaining weight because of that, right?
[00:06:46] That's not great, right? That is something that needs to be addressed. You're probably not at your best weight. Um, because yes, food definitely has a time and a place for in terms of like emotional support, but to be like your go to. every day or multiple days a week over a long period of time, that's going to have an impact on your body composition, right?
[00:07:06] That's probably going to have some more negative impacts on your health and well being. And so that's when weight gain is not something, right? That's something that we need to look at. And so, right, it's just, and when you're looking at someone from the outside and you don't know them, you can't tell the difference.
[00:07:21] You don't know what's going on. And so that's why I think this is an important. nuanced conversation to have. To bring awareness for ourselves and what we're going through and also when we connect with and look at other people because we make so many snap judgments. When you see someone who's gained weight your initial reaction is going to be something negative because your brain is just wired that way.
[00:07:45] I'm not making that as a judgment that you're a bad person. At all it's the way our brains have been wired since we were very very young, but it's just not that simple And so what I'm hoping opening up this conversation and getting you to think about this is doing is creating some space noticing when we have those reactions And then pausing and saying, I wonder what's going on with her, like, maybe she's feeling really good, maybe this is a good thing for her.
[00:08:08] And, and honestly, it doesn't even matter, like, unless this is someone that you're close with and you care about, right, then maybe it does, but, and it's really that looking at yourself. Um, like, I've definitely gone through some periods, I mean, my weight has fluctuated, not by huge amounts, 20 pound range over the years.
[00:08:26] Um, and because I'm taller, it distributes differently. So, Yes, it's certainly been visible at different times, more visible, less visible at others, depending on how much weight I've gained. But you know about a year, a year and change ago, um, I gained a little bit of weight and I actually felt really good about it.
[00:08:45] Um, I had kind of made a couple of changes to how I was eating and I'm like this actually feels really good. I'm in, in, in an even better place mentally and all of my biomarkers were good. Um, so, You know, obviously gaining 5, 7, 10 pounds, and again, this depends so much on your height and a lot of different things as to like, you know, a 5'1 person gaining 10 pounds is different than a 5'8 person gaining 10 pounds.
[00:09:11] It just is, right? Like, again, these are, this is science, right? This isn't like judgment. This isn't good or bad. This is science. I can feel myself talking weirdly with these things in my mouth. Um, But again, like gaining 10 pounds, it's definitely different than gaining 50 or 60 pounds, right? 50 or 60 pounds is definitely going to have an impact on how you feel in your body on probably various biomarkers, on insulin resistance, on fasting glucose, on all these things, um, on your ability to move and your mobility and all of that.
[00:09:41] Sometimes 10 pounds can too, right? This is not like a blanket number where like You know, it's, it's very individual. I'm just kind of using numbers kind of as a reference point, um, and so again, like, it's not, we can't just like black and white say that like gaining weight is bad and losing weight is good, right?
[00:09:58] And I'm not even talking about losing weight because I really just wanted to focus this episode on how we feel about gaining weight. Um, you know, and obviously there's a lot of other factors that could cause weight gain, right? I already mentioned Kind of a specific case around, um, medication that can cause weight gain.
[00:10:14] So you're working and doing something to take care of your health in one area and it causes weight gain in another. Um, you know, the various medications, that's a side effect and it's frustrating for people and it takes work. It takes a lot of kind of mental mindset work to reconcile and find acceptance around that.
[00:10:33] It's not easy. Um. It is. Certainly, if someone is trying to, like, build muscle and gain muscle, you're going to gain weight. It's very difficult. Typically, if you're, if you're trying to, like, really build and grow muscle, you are going to gain some body fat with that because you're, you're having to eat enough food to sustain the muscle growth, and you're probably going to also add on some body fat as a result of that.
[00:10:53] But you're building more strength, you're increasing muscle mass, which are really amazing things systemically. Um, sometimes people will do that and then work to lose some of that body fat. Um. But again, that's like a really wonderful reason to gain some weight is to be putting more muscle on your frame which improves bone density, improves immunity, improves mobility and quality of life and just capacity for movement and all sorts of things.
[00:11:24] You know, so I just wanted to kind of like I guess open the door for a conversation, even if it's a conversation with yourself. Um, just to think about these things, to think about the judgments that we make. We are so brainwashed to think that weight gain is bad under any circumstances. And it's just, that's a, that's just not true.
[00:11:44] It's just not that simple. Um, and it always, always comes back to your why, right? Like people always talk about like holiday weight gain. Now. I think most people talk about holiday weight gain because, out of fear. I'm so afraid over how much I'm going to eat. There's going to be leftovers. I'm not going to be able to control myself.
[00:12:04] It's party after party after party. So there could be weight gain there because there's a lack of skills to navigate those situations. And on the flip side of that, there could also be like Mindful weight gain, where you have these skills and you're like, you know what, some of my most favorite foods are around this time of year and I don't get to have them.
[00:12:27] And so I'm going to choose to eat a little bit more for these couple of weeks because I'm enjoying it, because it makes me feel good, because it brings me joy. And maybe I gain a couple of pounds because of that. And then come January, when I'm, you know, continue eating more in the way that's typical of like my usual routine, that will, you know, kind of.
[00:12:48] resolve itself, right? Because if I'm going into, if I'm eating more than usual, by choice, using my skills, and I eat more than my body needs, and I gain a little bit of weight, I'm, when I stop doing that, because those foods aren't around, and I know that I need to keep going with how I usually eat, with my normal routine, my calories are gonna slowly kind of drift back down, and my body weight will adjust accordingly.
[00:13:12] Right? So a lot of this also does come back to like skills, right? When we gain weight because of emotional eating or binge eating or um, because we're constantly snacking all the time, this is a lack of skills, right? This isn't because there's something wrong with you. It isn't because gaining weight inherently is bad.
[00:13:31] It's because you don't have the skills to be able to make choices around food and so then we're using the wrong foods, the wrong jobs, we're eating more food than we need to, we're just not able to make thoughtful, intentional choices around food, we feel controlled by the food instead of us being able to make the decisions.
[00:13:47] But when those skills are there, you can be very mindful and you can choose like, Or maybe you're going on like a two week vacation to Italy and you know you're gonna be eating a lot of pasta and pizza and amazing food and wine and whatnot and You're like, okay, I might gain a couple of pounds on this trip.
[00:14:03] That's not a bad thing. That is not a problem. Like If I'm mindfully enjoying this food And this is like a once in a lifetime trip, and I come home and I've gained a couple, in two weeks you're not gonna gain more than like a pound or two of actual body fat. You might retain water and whatnot, but actual body fat is really gonna be quite small.
[00:14:27] Like There's no, that's not a problem, that's not a bad thing. We are so brainwashed, again, to think that waking under any circumstance is bad. Now, if you're going to Italy and you are just stuffing your face and you are eating past the point of fullness and you're eating when you're not hungry and you're eating at every turn just because you can, that's different, right?
[00:14:45] There is so much nuance to this and I really just want you to think about that and think about the way you judge yourself and the way you judge other people. And the skills that you have or you don't have, and how you feel around food, and what is the intersection of all of this. These are really important conversations to be having.
[00:15:04] This is the stuff that is going to start to really make sweeping changes. Um, and so I feel like I'm so grateful to be able to have this space to do this. I'm so grateful to whoever is listening to this episode for you listening, so that you can hopefully carry this with you and talk about it. you know, just internally or with anyone that you feel comfortable talking about it with, um, you know, this is, this is important stuff to really be thinking about all of these elements of eating.
[00:15:33] What are our skills? How do I feel about food? How do I feel about waking? How do I feel about my body? How am I judging my body? Where's my worthiness coming from? All of it. And I know I'm kind of like getting a bit like lofty and big picture, I'm not sharing a specific skill in this episode. This is more of like a, just kind of a conversation, um, with is not really something for you specifically to do other than just to think about this.
[00:15:55] What are your thoughts around this? How do you feel about it? Um, how do you judge weight gain? How do you feel when you hear me say that? Um, gaining weight on a vacation isn't a bad thing if you're doing it in like a mindful thoughtful way. Um, that's to say if you gain weight on a vacation and haven't done in a mindful thoughtful way, it's not bad.
[00:16:13] You're not a bad person. You don't have the skills, right? It always comes back to that. It's a, it's an absence of skills. There's nothing wrong with you. There was nothing wrong with the food. It's that you don't have the skills to be able to make the choices that you want to make. That's what it is. That is always what it is, right?
[00:16:32] And then looking at like the Y, again, it comes back to the Y. If you're gaining weight, Why are you gaining that weight? Are you gaining weight because you're being thoughtful and intentional? Are you gaining weight because you feel out of control, right? And again, those two things are happening because you have skills or you don't have skills, right?
[00:16:49] Obviously medication is a different situation, um, because that is something that is really beyond our control because the way the medication changes the way you metabolize food and store fat and whatnot. Um, but in terms of like more behavior based stuff, It's really about the skills. Um, so I think that's everything I wanted to share.
[00:17:07] I hope this gives you some, no pun intended, food for thought. Again, if you're interested in, um, learning more about one to one coaching, find the link in the show notes, reach out to me, we can chat, see if it's right for you. And I will be back next week. Thanks for being here.