episode 168: the top 3 skills to stop mindless overeating
Episode 168 of The Diet Diaries is part 3 in an unplanned three part series that has the power to really transform what, why and how you eat.
Can 3 simple skills help you lose weight without a diet?
I highly recommend listening to episodes 166 and 167 first, but you can definitely just dive right into this one and get started on the three key skills I share thats can help you lose weight without a diet.
Today’s episode is all about reprioritizing food. Stop making eating an afterthought or something you do while you’re getting something else done. Let’s learn how to enjoy having a meal and begin to understand the role that plays in your relationship with food and how to lose weight without a diet.
Here’s what I’m covering in episode 168:
The three key skills you need to practice to stop mindless overeating
How to incorporate them so you don’t get overwhelmed and give up
How these impact fat loss
Also a an important reminder at the top of the episode: I am opening up 1:1 coaching spaces starting late March/early April. As part of that I am raising the 1:1 coaching rate for the first time, ever. But before that happens, I’d love offer podcast listeners an opportunity to grab a 1:1 spot at the current rate, which is $275/month. If you’ve been thinking about working together but haven’t made the move yet, then now is the time.
If you’re interested, click here to schedule a consult call before Friday March 8 (meaning the call needs to be on the schedule for this week or next) so we can get to know each other. No obligation with the consult—just a chance for you to share what’s been going on with you, learn more about how personalized coaching works and see if it feels like the right fit.
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[00:00:00] Hey, everyone. Good morning or good afternoon whenever you're listening to this. I always say good morning because the episodes get released on like a Monday morning, but obviously it's not when everyone listens to them. So, hi. Episode 168 of the Diet Diaries, just so you know what you're listening to.
[00:00:20] And I'm recording this a day later than I usually do because I got hit with like a round two of this stomach bug yesterday, like I've never in my life had a stomach virus, um, twice in ten days, but I did. Um, much, I don't want to say much, milder this time than it was, but I really felt like crap yesterday.
[00:00:40] Um, so that kind of sucked. But, um, anyway. That's what's going on with me. Um, I also wanted to let you know, again, a friendly reminder that I am opening up spots for one to one clients, um, starting at the end of this month and into early April. And for folks who listen to this podcast, because I am so grateful for your time and attention, um, I'm offering spots to join, um, at the current rate because I'm raising my rate.
[00:01:09] Um, starting in a few weeks for the first time ever, um, which is scary as you can imagine, um, but I, it's something that has to happen, um, but I really appreciate the, just the time and energy and attention that you give to me by listening to this podcast and by being on my email list. Um, I don't take that stuff for granted.
[00:01:27] I don't take it lightly. I have a small community and also a really amazing one. And so if you're, if you've been thinking about wanting to work together, now is the time. if you want to take advantage of. Um, the current rate before it goes up. So there's a link in the show notes to set up a discovery call so that we can meet and get to know each other.
[00:01:46] You'll want to get that on the calendar by the end of this week, meaning that we meet before this Friday, March 8th. Um, I know that puts a little bit of urgency in the situation, but that's kind of like the way this is working because of the timing and the way I'm kind of rolling this out in terms of raising the rates.
[00:02:01] Um, so Reach out if you've got any questions. There's a link to schedule a call. The call is free. Um, it's a consult for us to get to know each other, for you to share what's going on with you, for me to talk about how coaching works, and for us to decide together if it's a good fit. Right? So there's no obligation by doing this call.
[00:02:16] Um, it's really just kind of the first step. Um, in Making the choice to figure out if coaching is the right thing for you. So that is that. Um, so today is kind of part three over of the last, of part three of the last few weeks. I can't find my words right now, which is kind of a problem when you're recording a podcast.
[00:02:37] Um. So last week and the week before, I talked about kind of this idea of quote fattening foods. I talked about the jobs of foods. I talked about calorie density. I talked about how all this connects to fat loss. And I said that this week I was going to talk about kind of some very specific tangible skills that you can work on that kind of connect back to when we eat those more calorie dense foods.
[00:03:04] I mean, we want to use these Whenever we eat, but especially when you're eating foods that are easy to overeat, these skills are super, super important. And so these are really kind of tactile, tangible skills. Not things where it's like mindset based, or you have to figure out what you're feeling, or you have to ask yourself like questions around Is this true?
[00:03:25] This is like, no, this is like, I am actually like doing these things. I can, it helps really create structure. It's something you can do in the moment. Um that feels like you are actually doing something. I hope that makes sense, um, because there's a lot of skills we work on which are equally as important, which are less tactile, which are happening all in your head, all internally, and those are challenging.
[00:03:48] This is happening externally, and it's a little bit different. So this is gonna, I'm gonna try and keep this pretty short because this is very straightforward, and I just want to get right to it for you. Um, I'm gonna share three skills. You don't want to do them all at once. You're gonna pick one, you're gonna start with one, and you're gonna start with it only at one meal.
[00:04:06] And you're gonna practice that for a period of time, at least a week, at a minimum it would be a week. Then you can add on and do that one skill at another meal, or you can add on another skill to that single meal, if that makes sense. But you want to think of this as kind of like a Like a step by step process.
[00:04:25] You don't jump into all the skills at once, you're going to slowly add on, and there's many ways to do that. You can kind of figure out what works best for you. So um, and really what these skills are about is prioritizing eating, right? For most of us, eating is kind of an afterthought. And while we may look forward to certain meals and we really like certain foods, We often wait until the last minute to figure out, like, what's happening for a meal, or we're so distracted while we're eating that even though it's a mealtime, that, the meal, the food itself is kind of, like, very secondary.
[00:05:01] Um. And when we're looking outside of mealtime to like if it's snacks or desserts or whatnot, I mean forget it. It's like there's so much else going on that the food is really the last thing we're thinking about or paying attention to other than that like we have to have it like right that moment because we're so hungry or we're having a craving or whatever it is.
[00:05:19] There's like that urgency to have the food. Um, so this is really about prioritizing food. And I'm going to tell you it's going to feel uncomfortable. I'm going to tell you that it's going to feel hard. I'm going to tell you it's going to feel awkward and weird. And that's just the nature of new skills.
[00:05:35] And so going into it, if you kind of expect that and plan for it, it's going to make it a lot easier than if you go in thinking, oh, this is going to be super easy, no problem, I'll have this figured out in a week. You're not going to have it figured out in a week. That's also not a reason not to do it.
[00:05:47] Just like any new skill that you learn, it takes time. You're investing in yourself and your well being over a long period of time. Right? You're not just trying to fix, quote, fix something in 30 days. I don't give a shit about the next 30 days. I care about what you're doing 30 years from now. That is what these skills are setting you up for.
[00:06:05] I say that all the time. So here they are. Number one. You are going to put all food on a plate or a napkin or in a bowl, right? Meaning you were not eating food out of a package. All food, I'm gonna say it again. It's very simple in the idea. It's not always easy in practice, right? Simple and easy, not the same thing.
[00:06:26] All food needs to be on a plate, a napkin, or on a bowl. Very simple. That goes for all snacks, chips, pretzels, cookies. In a bowl. On a napkin. Number one. That is guideline number one. That also applies to if you are sharing food, like let's say you go out to dinner, and you order appetizers and there's a bunch of appetizers sitting in the middle of the table.
[00:06:48] The food makes a pit stop on your plate. I've actually called this the plate pit stop. It does not go from The shared plate in the middle that it came out on into your mouth. It goes on to a plate first. If you're out at a party and there's a buffet, the food goes on to a plate first. Wherever you are, the food goes on to a plate or a napkin first.
[00:07:11] And if you're gonna ask me what if I'm eating in a car? Well, that's, I'm going to address that in a moment. We're trying not to eat in cars, right? Food goes on a plate first, no matter what it is. Dessert, appetizer, entree, a sandwich, whatever it is. Number one. Number two, which is, I will tell you, these are in no particular order.
[00:07:34] This is not the order you have to practice them in, so just let me say that. But I will say that number two is probably the hardest, and that is to put away your phone while you are eating. And for obvious reasons, I don't think I need to get into how much a distraction it is. When you are eating something and you are scrolling TikTok, Instagram, reading an article, checking your email, responding to text messages, you are not able to pay attention to what you're eating.
[00:08:00] There, multitasking is not a real thing. Your brain can switch between tasks quickly, but you cannot be responding to a work email on your phone and paying attention to what you're eating at the same time. You are switching between the two and you are diluting the experience and the attention that you are giving to both by doing so.
[00:08:20] And so if you find that you are still hungry after meals, not satisfied, looking for snacks, it's because you weren't paying attention to what you're eating. You ate, you didn't even realize you ate because you were doing something else. I will say that you can also do this in phases. If putting away your phone for an entire meal feels scary and overwhelming, which I completely, a thousand million percent get.
[00:08:44] Do it for the first five minutes, put your phone in another room for five minutes. You can even set a timer and then go get it. And then increase to 10 minutes and slowly increase, build up. There is no deadline. There is no rush. There is no urgency around these skills. You can take your time. In fact, they will be more helpful for you if you don't rush through them.
[00:09:07] Now the flip side of that is don't avoid them because you're scared of them, but don't rush through them, okay? So if you're going to ask about TV, you're going to ask about podcasts, I'm going to be kind of specific and I'm going to say scrolling your phone. So visually looking at your phone, which would be all social media, it would be texting, it would be email.
[00:09:31] If you're watching a show on TV, if you're listening to a podcast. There might be a little more, you're going to have to experiment. The phone is going to be the most challenging, so let's start there, and then if you feel like you need something to kind of keep you company, which I get, maybe a podcast, maybe watching something could help.
[00:09:49] Um, watching a show on your phone and scrolling through social media are not the same thing, right? You and I both know that. So. That's why I'm, I'm, I'm splitting hairs a little bit, but I'm also trying to be realistic and meet you where you're at. Um, and know that sometimes we, being totally alone while eating, there's a lot of stuff that comes up.
[00:10:07] There's gonna be a lot of thoughts. I get it. But you also need some of that space to be able to pay attention to what you're eating. Okay? So moving on, skill number three, sit at a table. Do not stand at a counter. Do not stand in front of a refrigerator. Do not stand in front of a pantry. Do not sit in your car.
[00:10:26] Sit at a table as often as you can. With all three of these skills, we're looking for consistency, not perfection. What are you doing most of the days, most of the time, but you've got to get honest with yourself. The first skill and the third skill go hand, they actually all go hand in hand, kind of. If you are putting your food on a plate, you're likely.
[00:10:49] You're going to be much more likely to sit down. If you're standing in front of the cabinet eating snacks, you're eating out of a bag, right? So one kind of in a way like begets or helps you follow through with the next one. Um, and again, this is to help you, all of this is to help you pay attention. That is what all of these are about, to help you pay attention and prioritize eating.
[00:11:10] Because when you prioritize eating, you're paying attention to it, right? It's like a chicken and an egg thing. It's awareness and attention. Um, and sometimes I get in these, like, weird, like, existential conversations in my head about which comes first, awareness or attention. I don't know. I don't know that it matters which comes first, but that you have to do that, right?
[00:11:28] You have to pay attention. You have to be aware. And you cannot have an awareness of what and how much you're eating standing in front of a cabinet or standing in front of an open refrigerator. You don't know how much you're eating, you're likely not eating something you actually want to be eating, um, you're maybe in some cases like hiding it or trying to rush it or keep it from someone else.
[00:11:52] It makes us feel like maybe we haven't done it if we didn't put it on a plate and sit down, right? There's so many factors to this that when you put these boundaries and this structure in place, which is to put your food on a plate, to sit down at a table, and to put your phone away. You have to really pay attention to what you are doing because there's nothing else to pay attention to.
[00:12:14] And again, I get it's gonna be uncomfortable. That's why I'm saying start with one at a time, with one meal at a time, and then build up. You can choose whichever one you want. They are not in order. But this stuff is super important and you know, it's as important as the, uh, how nutrient dense your food is.
[00:12:38] It's as important as, you know, working on your body image and paying attention to how you talk to yourself. Like this stuff matters. And I said at the beginning of the episode that it matters even more for like more calorie dense, easier to overeat food. And again, it's important for all food. But the food that we tend to eat, like, especially in front of a cabinet or in front of a fridge is usually, like, snacks, right?
[00:13:01] You're not going to eat, like, a meal standing in front of a fridge. You might eat a meal standing up at your kitchen counter. You might try to eat a meal in your car. And I get that sometimes there's going to be situations where you have to eat lunch in your car, right? I, I forgot to mention sitting at your desk.
[00:13:14] Get up from your desk. Even if it's for five minutes. Even if you can't give up your whole, like create like a entire 15, 20 minute lunch break, which in theory does not sound like that much, but I get that it is. Can you get up for five minutes? Go have a few bites of your lunch for five minutes at a kitchen table or wherever away from your desk and then come back, right?
[00:13:33] There's always something you can do. It's not all or nothing. You can do something. You can do five bites. You know, at a table. You can do something for five minutes. You can put your phone away for five minutes, right? You can do something. Even if you can't do everything and that is okay because that something will add up over time.
[00:13:52] And when it comes to like the easy to overeat stuff, like the chips and the snacks and the baked goods and the cookies and candy and ice cream, that stuff is easy to overeat. And so if you are not paying attention, you are gonna eat more than you need or want to. You just are. So if you're If it's, you know, eating out of a container, if you're eating ice cream out of a container, or candy out of a bag, or you're standing in front of a pantry, and you're scrolling TikTok while you're eating ice cream, sitting on your couch, you have no idea how much you're eating.
[00:14:19] You just don't. Like, if you had a pint of ice cream and you're scrolling TikTok, forget it. Like, all bets are off. You know that you are going to end up eating Way more food than you need or want to. And it's not the ice cream that's the problem. It's not the TikTok that's the problem. It's the combination of these things.
[00:14:38] Right? So, ice cream needs to be in a bowl, at a table, with your phone put away. And that is a whole different experience. than what you're currently doing. And again, build up to it over time. I think that I've gotten my point across. I feel like I like just got this one out super fast. Um, I have a lot happening today, so I couldn't afford to be too wordy.
[00:15:02] If you've got questions, I'm always here. Reach out and Yeah, just start bit by bit. Go slow. Take your time. Be willing to get uncomfortable and Know that these three skills could be like, transformational for you. These skills alone can help you work on fat loss. Like, just, here I am, like, talking longer than I really need to, but if you take that example of eating ice cream out of the container while watching TikTok, think about how much you'll eat, whereas if you put a serving in a bowl and sit at a table and pay attention to it, right off the bat, you're going to eat less than you were.
[00:15:38] Right? That is why I say the skills that help you feel more at ease around food are the same skills that help you lose fat. Right? You can work on both at the same time. You don't have to choose because you're not doing a diet. You're not restricting. You're not saying, Oh shit, I can't have ice cream because I'm out of control.
[00:15:51] You're out of control because you've got no structure because you allow yourself to sit there with a pint and scroll TikTok. And I know I'm hanging up on this one example, but you get my point. You've got to put structure in place. You've got to get honest with yourself. And so that will help you feel better around those foods.
[00:16:09] It will show you that it's not the food, and it's not you. It's just that you didn't have the skills in place to do it. And when you get the skills in place to eat those foods in a way that feels better, it can also help you lose fat if that is something that you need and want to work on. They go together, right?
[00:16:25] So Now I'm done. For real. And thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. As always, I always want to make sure I say that because I really, truly do appreciate you. And um, I will be back next week.