episode 147: why calling everything “the best” isn’t the best
Can we all stop using this word to talk about everything?
Episode 147 of The Diet Diaries is a little bit of a rant episode, but very much connected to what we talk about here around negative body image and body confidence.
I’ve gotten really frustrated lately with how everyone uses the word “best.”
Everything is the best! Every dinner out, every weekend, every party, every friend, every event.
It’s all THE BEST.
As logic would tell us though, if everything is the best, nothing is the best. So what does it really mean then and why are we constantly using this word to talk about our lives?
In today’s episode I’m exploring how social media is creating this pressure, how it’s impacting our negative body image and well being and how to start normalizing things being just ok.
Here’s the Cup of Jo post I reference around wholeness.
Take a listen to episodes 134 and 131 which offer more helpful skills and resources for improving body confidence.
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00:01
Welcome to the Diet Diaries, a podcast where we have candid, heartfelt conversations that will help you figure out what, why and how to eat so you can feel amazing in your body. Because it's time to break the all or nothing mindset of yo-yo dieting, food obsession and feeling ruled by the scale. I'm your host body image and nutrition coach, jordana Edelstein. I'm so happy you're here. Hey, everyone.
Speaker 2
00:30
It's episode 147 of the Diet Diaries God 147. That is wild. This December will be the three-year anniversary of this podcast and I have published a new episode every Monday, except for when we went to Greece last year. I think I skipped two Mondays and I think I skipped one earlier this summer. That's super cool. So thank you for being a listener. As I always say, if this is your first episode, if this is your 147th or anywhere in between, thank you for being here. God knows, there are an insane number of fucking podcasts out there. Sometimes it is overwhelming where I'm like I don't know what to listen to, as Michael doesn't do anything. So thank you for listening. It is Monday, october 2nd. I'm recording this one a little bit further in advance. I can't leave it's October.
01:20
Also, today's topic might feel a little weird and might feel a little off topic, and it's just something that's been irking me. When I was in California this summer visiting two of my closest friends one lives there and one lives in Borkelamy both flew out Alia and Gina. You guys probably heard me talk about them before I started bitching about this thing where I feel like everyone on social media talks about everything as the best. Everything is the best. Oh my God, I had the best time. Oh my God, it was the best weekend. Oh my God, this was the best trip. Oh my God, this was the best dinner. Oh my God, this is the best shirt. Whatever it is, everything is the best. And you see people doing this all the time and it's like, well, how can everything be the best? If everything is the best, then nothing really is the best. And this might seem stupid and nitpicky, but here's the thing. I think this has become a cultural thing. I think it's like remember, there was the backlash, the good vibes only. For a long time there was all this stuff on social media good vibes only. And then there was the backlash, too, saying no, it's fine to be in a shitty mood, you don't always have to have good vibes only.
02:33
I am saying that we need to have a backlash to everything being the best, because when you spend time on social media which most of us do and you see people constantly talking about how everything they do is the best, that is making you feel shitty about stuff. You might not realize it, but it is, and it's just not real. Not everything can be the best and maybe even more importantly, not everything needs to be the best. Can things just be like okay, like fine, mediocre? I think that we are in this place where everything has to look amazing and that is definitely driven by social media. Right? Nobody posts their shitty days. Nobody posts when they're feeling like crap.
03:21
I try to sometimes have body image stuff, but there's definitely tons of times when I'm having a really rough day. I don't talk about it and I share pictures of when I'm doing the things that I'm working on. That's just human nature and it's hard, and this is why social media is not real life. No matter how hard a person tries to make it to really represent their real life which I do it still never can encompass real life. The only post highlights it's basically a highlight reel and this whole concept of like everything is the best feeds into that. It's kind of like a I don't know if it's the chicken or the egg kind of thing. Right? Is it caused because that's the only thing we want to share or do we share that because that's what we feel like we have to? I'm not even sure if that makes sense, but I think you get my point and it just feels like we are only we are constantly striving for happiness and for everything to be great and wonderful, and that's not normal. That is not the human experience. It's not normal for every event that you go to every weekend whether it's a dinner out or a girls night or a bar mitzvah or a wedding or a pool party it's not normal for it always to be the best. It can't possibly be the best. It's like everything is the best, nothing is the best. And this, like I've talked a little bit about this, I'm reading my second book right now about dopamine. This one is called the molecule more. I think it's even better than dopamine nation.
04:46
And this is a real deep connection back to these neurotransmitters in our brain and how they make us feel and how they drive us to want to go after things right. So for we have a great time. One weekend, right literally, is we have an amazing weekend at a party or dinner out, whatever it is. Naturally we want to experience that again, and so everything kind of gets built up and we're constantly seeking out when is the next time going to be as good as the last time? And I think that we either are kind of tricking ourselves into thinking that everything is the best, or we're just saying that to make it look like we're experiencing something, because that's what social media has created and it's not normal like this is not what being human is. This is distorting how emotions work, how our brains work, what the actual human experience is, and I think it's really important to call out.
05:44
I think it really like Connects back to body image and to our values and to the struggles that we have. Like not every day are you going to be like on point with everything? Not every day. Are you gonna Eat an efficient source of protein at every meal and do your workout and go to bed on time and not spend excessive amounts of time on social media and read 10 pages of your book and not lose your patients with your kid? Like it's just not gonna happen. And so we're constantly seeing these messages of everyone we know saying oh my god, it was the best night. Oh my god, it was the best weekend. Oh my god, these are my best friends. Oh my god, this is like the best, and I have done that to write, I think, just a couple weeks ago like these are the best genes, right, I'm trying to be more aware and I've definitely caught myself.
06:30
I remember when I was out in California talking about this with Ali and Gina, and like a minute later I said something like using the word the best, and they laughed at me and I'm like, oh my god, like it's really Kind of insidious. But here's the thing language matters. Languages to own not the only, because obviously we have a body language and and like facial expressions, but language is like our primary way Of communicating with ourselves, with other people and saying what it is that we mean. And so word choice matters it does. It's not just semantics, it's not just little stuff, and I think we need to like really reevaluate what actually is the best.
07:11
Certainly something can be the best, but is everything? No, it's not. It's okay to like go to a party, and it's just okay. Or to go out to dinner with friends and have a nice time doesn't have to be the best time, can just be a nice time and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. It's almost like we've gotten to this place where, if it's not the best, that it sucks, which reminds me of this really funny Jerry Seinfeld bit where he talks about it's great, it sucks, it's great, it sucks, like Not the same, but that just kind of came into my brain.
07:39
It's like If something isn't the best, then it's like, oh my god, something is wrong, I have failed, I haven't had an amazing time at this thing. Then something is wrong. No, it's not wrong. You're just a human and not everything is going to be amazing. Not everything is going to be wonderful all of the time. And when we're constantly striving for that, let me tell you are fucking ourselves up. You're like blowing your dopamine levels out of the water, like we can't constantly be achieving these levels of Like reward all the time. It's just not normal.
08:14
We actually experiencing things that are just okay or that are uncomfortable or that disappoint us are actually good. We need that. We need to go out and maybe have high expectations for something and have it kind of suck. We need to go out and be like, yeah, that was fine, wasn't great, wasn't terrible, it was just fine. This is normal and we need to talk about it more. Right, we need to not just share when things are the best, because it's warping our sense of reality in a very big way. You know I talked about this in an email a while ago that I read on Cup of Joe, which is like my favorite little corner of the internet around how happiness is not. We don't need to be striving for happiness, we need to be striving for wholeness. Wholeness meaning that we experience all the range of emotions, not just happiness, but sadness and frustration and anger. Right. So, when everything is the best, what about the stuff that sucks? We need to experience the stuff that sucks, too. The stuff that sucks has value. It's the same thing. We are setting ourselves up to be miserable, we're setting our kids up to be miserable and we're doing each other in this community of quote, social media or real disservice by making it seem like everything we do is the best. It's not. It's just not.
09:30
I am sure that I have posted. I mean, I'm hoping that not. I will tell you guys, sidebar, I'm a little all over the place today. If you follow me on Instagram, I posted about these good American jeans a couple of weeks ago and I need to. I'm going to post about this, probably before you listen to this. I thought they were amazing. I tried them on, I wore them around the house and within a couple of hours, they'd stretched out so much they were literally falling off. They were not the best, right? I thought they were and they weren't. And amazingly good American, had great customer service and is actually letting me return them first, or credit after I've worn them.
10:02
But, sidebar, like, we all say things prematurely or that are inaccurate for various reasons. But I think we just need to pay more attention and have more awareness around it and so that we can actually connect and feel like our common humanity and know that it's normal for everything not to be the best, to not always feel like you look your best, to not always feel like you feel your best. As normal it's not always feel like every night out or every weekend or every dinner. Every meal you make, whatever like, doesn't have to be the best. It can suck, it can be mediocre and that is all okay.
10:41
So I think that's really all I wanted to say today. Again, I know this might feel like a little off of like my normal stuff, but it's something that's been sitting with me and I wanted to share with you because I have a feeling I'm not the only one thinking this. The role that social media plays in our lives is a really big one, and so I think we need to start just getting more and more honest and realistic about how we're using it and what we're absorbing from it, and so this was part of that for me. So thanks for listening, as always, and I will be back next Monday.
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