episode 137: why i rarely drink alcohol
Happy Monday, friends. Back today with episode 137 of The Diet Diaries and I’m talking about my relationship with alcohol.
This idea was inspired by Sarah Landry of The Birds Papaya who is one of my most favorite people to learn from about body confidence, body acceptance and self worth. She shared a story on IG probably about a month ago, saying that nobody every questions when you order a drink, but everyone makes a comment when you don’t.
And that hit home hard with me because I rarely drink—I have probably around 5-7 drinks an entire year. I will very often be one of the only, if not the only, people not drinking in a group setting at parties and dinners.
From my experience, that’s pretty unusual, and for me a lot of is connected back to body confidence and to food, so I figured ok, let’s discuss and navigate this often misunderstood topic together.
Truthfully I was worried this episode would come off as “judgy.” So right up front I want to be clear that this is a personal choice I have made for myself after learning what works for me. It is not a judgment or a statement on what I think anyone else should be doing.
What I will say is that if you don’t like how drinking makes you feel or the way it impacts any other part of your life, then maybe there IS something to think about. That is what self compassion is all about.
In today’s episode you’ll hear:
My family background and history with alcohol during high school and college
How alcohol is intertwined with my relationship with food
What I’ve learned about how alcohol impacts my body
How alcohol impacts fat loss
One of the big reasons why I rarely drink
Why its crucial to understand that alcohol is actually a poison
Here’s a link to the Huberman Lab podcast all about alcohol that I mentioned in the show.If you’re looking for more resources around improving your body confidence, this is one of my favorite episodes that I recorded with Caralyn Mirand Koch.
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Welcome back. It is episode 137 of the Diet Diaries and today I'm talking about something I feel like a little different. I'm going to talk about alcohol and drinking. This episode was inspired by a post made by Sarah Landry of the Birds Papaya. If you don't follow her, you should. She's awesome that she shared probably this point a couple of weeks ago and what she shared in the post said. What she said in the post was something around this idea of no one questions you when you choose to order a drink, but everyone questions you when you choose not to, and it really struck a chord with me, because I don't really drink I don't not drink, but I very rarely drink and it's something that I definitely have stress over. That I've had anxiety over because of people's comments what they're going to think, what they're going to say, how they're going to pressure me and I wanted to talk about it here because they're part of the reasons why are connected back to food and body stuff and part of them are not, and I think this is actually a topic that needs more airtime. So here we go, perfect place to do it. So I probably have maybe like five drinks a year, give or take Never beer. I don't drink beer. I don't like beer. When I have a drink, it is 95% of the time going to be some type of a cocktail made with tequila. I actually do like the taste of tequila and sometimes I do like a fun cocktail made with something like fruity or grapefruit or something like that. Like I actually can enjoy it. Infrequently it will be pretty much. I don't think I would never order a drink on my own. I would never order a drink if I were just with Danny. It would pretty much be if we were out with a group of friends and other people were having drinks. So take that for what it is. My air conditioning just turned on. I know you can hear it in the background because I listened back to an episode recently and it's just too hot up here for me to turn it off. So I'm sorry, guys, but that's let's open 100 year old house. I'm in the attic. It's a window unit. It kind of is what it is, anyway, a sidebar. So just to kind of go back to that right. It's interesting right there in and of itself that I know that when I have a drink it's going to be with a group of people where other people are drinking. I remember, just anecdotally, when my mom was really sick this is five, six years ago I had had such a really tough day going through stuff with her that I opened a bottle of wine and Danny got home and he saw me drinking wine in the kitchen by myself and he's like what the fuck is going on? Like I am not someone. We don't drink wine at home. We don't like people bring. If we have like a party or we have friends over, people bring over alcohol and it literally sits in our cabinet for years. People bring over beer. It sits in the fridge like how are we gonna get rid of this? Just like, if any of my friends are listening, they're probably not, but we had friends over Memorial Day weekend and had bought a bunch of white claws. I don't drink that. So like a few weeks later, or maybe actually just a few days later, we were at the pool and we brought all of them and I left them there. I'm like someone else will take them and drink them. And I wanna be really clear this is no judgment on people who enjoy having drinks. This is a totally personal preference. There's some science stuff that I'll talk about, but this isn't like I'm judging you because you're drinking or I'm judging you because you go home and have a glass of wine to wind down. Like not judging, it's not about that at all. I know that I'm in the minority and I just like to give voice and give representation to things that often don't have a voice and don't have representation. So that's really why I'm talking about it. So like, yeah, just to kind of connect back to that. Like we don't Danny and I are not people like we don't have wine with dinner. I don't have a glass of wine at night to relax, I don't. I just don't use alcohol in that way. I never have Part of it. Interestingly, danny and I both grew up in households where our parents didn't really drink. My dad has what we still call his beer of the year, like if we're on vacation or it's like a special birthday or whatever he'll have like a beer. My mom very rarely drinks Again like maybe on like a special occasion, and Danny's parents were the same way. So I do think that that's part of it. We happen to both grow up in households where our parents did not drink. Now I remember my grandpa, my mom's dad whenever I would go over to his house would have a glass of scotch sitting on the counter in the kitchen, kind of like half full. I think he would like sip it during the day. I don't really know, but I do think there's a lot of like generational and parental influence in what you see, kind of growing up. Interestingly, I don't drink coffee either. Never been a caffeine person separate. Maybe I'll do a separate episode about that. You know so very often I will be and have been. This has been for a very long time. I just like a little bit of like history background. I drank a little bit in high school, not much, I would say pretty. I could probably count on two hands a number of times that I drank in high school. I did go crazy when I got to college freshman year. So you can correlate that as you will. I'm not sure if there's necessarily a connection, but freshman year was definitely a lot of drinking and then I really like reigned it in. I definitely drank more in college and things. I didn't want to drink a lot of beer because that's what people drank and, yes, there's peer pressure and people are doing it and this is what's happening Like there was a lot of that. I don't like beer. I don't enjoy beer. I never order beer. I couldn't tell you the last time I would like, I just don't. So I don't know. Kind of, starting in like my early 20s and I lived in the city for a while, I would. I definitely drank more then because we were going out and going to bars and that was like the whole thing. But I remember like really not wanting to drink as much. Now, part of that reason at that time was that I was really worried about how it was going to impact like my body and my weight, and part of that still is true today. But from like a totally different sort of perspective, like I remember at one point I was seeing a nutritionist in the city and doing a very, very restrictive, rigid, like 10 day diet that she had put me on because nothing we were doing was working and I obviously couldn't drink on it. And I remember a friend of mine came into town and I was way too embarrassed to tell him that like this is why I couldn't drink. So I made up some excuse about like being on medication. But I definitely had a lot of anxiety, a lot of stress about like how much I was drinking and what I was drinking. Like I would never order like sweet fruity drinks. I would never order like a rum and Coke. It would always be like a vodka soda was pretty much the thing that I got and I didn't even enjoy it. I don't even like vodka. I actually do like the flavor of tequila, but I didn't discover that till later on. So I would drink things because I kind of felt like I quote, had to, that felt like the least, like the lesser of the evils. In a sense. I don't really enjoy wine. I don't know anything about wine. I don't like have wine with meals. Like I just not. I'm just not like a, I'm just not a drinker. And again, this is not a judgment. Like it just is and you know, so kind of I'm jumping around a little bit, but going back like drank in college kind of pulled it back and moved to the city and kind of like navigated my way through it, but definitely it was like pure pressure, right, and that still exists. So very often when we go out with a group of friends or we're at someone's house there's a barbecue. I will very frequently be one of the only people not drinking. What's cool is that within our group of friends there are a couple of other people who don't drink, so I'm not the only ones, the only one, which is nice, but it's definitely. People will be like oh, you're not drinking, or do you want something to drink? I'm like, no, I'm good, like I'll have a diet coke or I'll have a club soda or whatever. And I think generally that the cultural belief is that if you don't drink, you're boring, you're not fun, you're like gotta stick up your ass, like you don't know how to let loose, you don't know how to have, you don't know how to have a good time. That's generally like what people think and that's like not like. It's just like that. That's just like this myth. I don't like know where that came from. It's totally not true. Does it feel good to have a drink once in a while and get a little bit of a buzz. Yeah, it does, and I will tell you that because I drink so rarely. Like I had a drink over spring break. I had one drink over spring break and it was delicious, but I had about a quarter of it and, honestly, guys, I was like basically drunk. I have zero tolerance and that's because I never drink alcohol. So my body and like the way it metabolizes it just is very, very sensitive and it was delicious but I really couldn't have any more otherwise Because I had driven and I needed to like get this through my system and have time to like be okay and then go home several hours later, um, so, like you know, it's just it's interesting the way my body responds to it. Now I'm assuming it's because I so rarely drink. I'm sure it could also be a byproduct of just how my body has changed over the years. But I wanted to kind of talk about, I guess, sort of like the two big reasons and a little bit of a third as to why I just don't really drink, and one of them is that when I drink it makes it a lot harder to make the choices I want to make around food, and I think that's true for most people and then I end up feeling really shitty the next morning, physically and mentally, because I know I've just made a bunch of choices that just don't feel good for me, that are not in alignment with my values. You know it's, it's like pretty, the classic thing you go out, you drink, you get drunk and then you're like you're hungry. It changes your appetite and you know all of your inhibitions are down because the way the alcohol is impacting your nervous system. So it's very hard to make choices you want to make and I just don't like that feeling. Maybe I'm more sensitive to that stuff because of my history with Disorder Eating and someone who hasn't had that might feel differently. Right, this is all super personal. I'm just being like really candid and really honest. You know, another piece of it is that my body is very sensitive to it. I already mentioned that I'll have like literally I can have one sip of a cocktail and start to feel it. I know that sounds insane, but it's the truth and my body is super sensitive. So I'll bloat, I'll retain water. It very often upsets my stomach, like my body just doesn't like jive well with alcohol. Now, I actually think that's true for most people, because alcohol is actually a poison. I'll talk a little bit about that. But I just don't feel good, like it's not worth it to me. Feeling hungover Like that's the worst. I can't remember I think it was before COVID. I think four years ago was the last time I was hungover. I had several drinks at a party. I think I also probably had some weed or a gummy or something, and I felt awful, like so bad. I just I don't want to feel that way. And it's not. You know, it's not like all or nothing, it's not. You don't have to drink at all or you get drunk and feel hungover. Obviously there's like a middle ground, but because my body is so sensitive that even if I have like a little bit, it just reacts, so that, coupled with not making good choices once I've had one or two drinks, it's just like not really appealing to me. Plus, I don't really like the taste of it. Tequila is the only thing I like. So I'm like I don't like vodka, I don't like rum, I don't like beer, I don't really like wine I know that probably sound weird Like I just don't really like. I get why other people do, I just don't. I love desserts. I'm a dessert person. Like what can I say? There are plenty of people who don't love desserts but love alcohol, or love chips, or love more savory things. We all have our innate personal preferences and that's really important. Like that's why, like diets and all these things, can never be one size fits all, because we're all so just different and unique in our preferences. And I just kind of briefly mentioned this, but I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to link a really great podcast, a Huberman lab podcast, all about alcohol. Alcohol is a poison. Like it is. That is science. That is a fact. It's not a judgment and it does right. There's new and emerging research about how often you can drink and not have it really negative impact your body. It's actually way less than you think. Like all of that. Like have a glass of red wine a day, it's like antioxidants are good. Like that's not a thing. Like that, that's not real. Daily drinking actually can have negative impacts on your health. That's not the number one reason why I don't do it. I'm just like sharing the science. I'm going to link a really wonderful podcast episode. If you want to learn more about this A little long, listen on like 1.5. It's really good. I learned a lot. And you know, just truthfully, like I hesitated whether or not to say this, but I'm gonna say it, because sometimes I think I filter myself too much for fear of people being like that's disordered or like you can't say that. Well, it's my podcast, I can say whatever I want, but I also want to make sure I say things in a contact that's gonna be helpful for everyone who's listening. And the truth is I'd rather eat my calories than drink them. Not in terms of a smoothie. I'm talking about alcohol, right. Alcohol has calories and it's kind of like heavily processed foods that are delicious and super easy to overeat. Alcohol is very easy to over-drink, right. Like once you have one, it's like oh, one more, one more, and then suddenly you lose track. You don't know how much you've drank and if I'm intaking, like, let's say, one cocktail is like 150 or 200 calories, I'd rather have like a cookie or a piece of cake or some ice cream. I just would enjoy it a lot more. This is about enjoyment. I'm going to enjoy that and get a lot more satisfaction out of that than I am out of a drink, and at the end of the day, you do have to be aware about how much energy you're intaking. Right, calories are a unit of energy and I'm not saying you need to count your calories, but how much you intake in a day in the terms of all the food. Drinks, meaning non-alcoholic drinks, like juices or whatever soda, and then alcoholic drinks, like it does matter, like it does. You've been traumatized by thinking about calories, but the truth is you knowing how much energy your body needs, we eat because our bodies need energy, right, calories are a unit of energy, it all matters. So if you want to have two drinks a day, two glasses of wine, right, that's probably around 300 calories. That matters, it's a choice. You can totally make that choice. It's all fine. But you just have to be aware. And so for me, 100% of the time, pretty much, I would always rather have food because I'm going to get more satisfaction than the alcohol. Right, this isn't disordered. This is the reality of being aware of how our bodies work, of the science behind it, and making choices accordingly. This isn't labeling something as good or bad. This is the reality, just of science and of our physiology, and we can't ignore that and deny it because of our history and because of some of our experiences, we have to learn how to reframe it. So I hope that that's helpful for you If you've ever struggled with that mindset yourself. I did want to talk a little bit about alcohol and fat loss. I just think it's a good segue. It's a good fit. If you are working on fat loss, alcohol matters. You can 100%, excuse me, still drink alcohol and lose fat, but it is going to make it harder. Alcohol impacts the way food is metabolized and can very often. If you were drinking, if you're having like one drink a month or drink every one every other week, that's not going to be a problem. If you're drinking multiple times a week, if you're drinking every day, that's definitely going to have an impact. Your body has to metabolize the alcohol first before it metabolizes the nutrients that you're eating. This is just science. Again, this is not a judgment. We very often, a lot of people, will drink alcohol on a daily basis. There's a purpose for that. People are using it to unwind. People are using it to manage stress. People are using it to relax. I get that it has a purpose. So we can't just stop that. We have to have another tool to fill that that's going to be maybe more productive and maybe, depending on what your goals are, more in alignment with your goals. But your body has to metabolize the alcohol first and so it's going to shut down everything else, which means it's not drawing energy from fat storage, which basically drawing energy from the alcohol. So if you're trying to lose fat and you're trying to pull from your fat stores to lose weight which is like the whole idea behind fat loss is not gonna happen. It's gonna come from the alcohol first, not from the stored fat. And it's very complicated, very complex. I'm not an expert. That Hubert Millat episode gets into the metabolism of alcohol. It doesn't talk so much about fat loss I don't think from what I remember but it does talk about how alcohol is metabolized, how it impacts your liver and all that kind of stuff. So basically, what happens is right the body is prioritizing metabolizing the alcohol, and then that can delay the breakdown of fat from those other, from the food that you're eating, and that can sometimes then contribute to weight gain. That would be more like if you're like more chronically drinking, but just more specifically, in terms of fat loss, it does matter, right, and it matters not only in terms of those calories. It matters in terms of your metabolism and how your body is processing the alcohol. So I share that. If you are someone who's been trying to lose fat and you've struggled and you are someone who has multiple drinks a week or has a drink or more every day, it could be something to look at. Not saying you have to. I'm just sharing the information so that you can kind of sit with it and think about how does this align with my goals, how does this align with my values? How does this align with my overall picture of my health and well-being and how I'm taking care of myself? These are hard choices. This stuff is not easy and we definitely live in a culture where drinking and alcohol are very normalized and the number of mommy wine jokes out there which, I have to be honest, like this stuff really gets under my skin. It's wine o'clock or mommy needs her glass of wine. I just I really can't stand that stuff. Because one because it just I find it insulting that it's like you're saying the only way moms can like handle stuff is like through drinking, but also like I never like coped with things in that way, not saying that my coping mechanisms were like necessarily better or worse. But like the mommy wine culture thing, I just don't subscribe to that. I think it puts a lot of pressure on moms. I think it's like. I think it creates a way to bond with people and feel included, which has value. But it kind of goes back to like I've done I've talked about this like our body shaming stuff. Or we like compare, like oh my cellulite is more disgusting than yours. Or like oh my God, you look great but I look disgusting, like were we bond over those things. I just think it leads to like negative things. I think there's ways that we can connect and deal with our stress and cope that aren't through negative self-talk and alcohol. And again, I don't say that to like judge, like, because I know it's not easy and like I get it. Like I get the social component of it, I get the pressure, I get all of that, I get that. It may feel like this is the only way I can wind down. That's a very real thing. Like everything that we do has a purpose, it has a job, whether or not serving us or not. In like the bigger picture, when we have like bigger goals, but in that day to day, like moment to moment, like there's a reason that we're doing those things and so you can't just like say I'm not gonna do this anymore. That's basically like what crash diets are. Anyway, it's kind of like I feel like veering off into a whole other area, but I think that's it. That, what I wanted to share. Thank you for listening. If you have thoughts, opinions, I'd love to hear them. This is like I feel like a really kind of like a pretty personal episode, but that's what this platform is for, I guess. Right, like, wherever you are, you're not alone, and I feel like this is something that's not talked about that often. I think that a lot of people kind of do have stress around. So just know that you can make the choices that feel best for you and you are not the only one. If you are drinking more than you want to because you're pressured or you feel weird, or you feel like people are gonna like look at you weird or make comments like I get it, that's a real and valid thing. But just know that you're not the only one. And if you have daily drinks or weekly drinks and it's like working with your life and you love it awesome, like that's amazing. So, yeah, I'm really now I'm gonna stop. Thank you, guys for listening. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing this podcast. I will be back next week. Bye.