Episode 111: Finding the middle ground between diet and anti-diet culture with Dr. Sarah Doan
Today’s special guest episode is with my friend and colleague, Dr. Sarah Doan. Sarah is a physical therapist turned strength coach and takes a really thoughtful, intentional approach to how she uses strength training and nutrition principals to help people find confidence in their bodies.
Here’s what we cover in today’s episode:
Why we need to stop addressing people’s physical and mental challenges in isolation and view ourselves as an integrated ecosystem
How to improve body image and why a diet never changes it
Why lifting heavy is one of the most powerful tools to change your negative body image
How mindful exercise helps you connect to your body in a way unrelated to what you look like
Why you can’t only rely on how you look to feel good about yourself and improve body confidence
Sarah’s experience with dieting and weight loss and why being smaller still didn’t make her happier
Why gaining weight can be a good thing
When you’re in the right place to lose fat and how to do it without dieting
The surprising negative impact of anti-diet culture
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[00:00:28] Hey everyone. Welcome back. It's episode 111 of The Diet Diaries. I just realized today's a guest episode and it's my first episode guest episode in the Diet Diaries era, which is kind of cool. So I kind of mentioned recently that I'm not gonna be having guests on as frequently anymore, um, for a few different reasons.
[00:00:48] But what that means is that when I do have a guest on, it means. , they are super special. Um, and not to say that all my other previous guests haven't been special, they've all been amazing, but I'm just kind of really [00:01:00] focusing more on solo episodes. Um, and so today I have on my friend and colleague, Dr.
[00:01:06] Sarah do, and like so many of the folks I've talked to on here, we met through our kind of mutual, um, business mentor and coach Shante Cofield, the brilliant movement ma. and Sarah is a physical therapist turned strength coach, and we met in person for the first time and actually for the first time ever in October when I went to LA for, um, For that big, uh, kind of convention for online business owners.
[00:01:32] And we sat at the same table and so got to spend like two straight days together getting to know each other, um, and then started following each other online and found out even more that we have a lot in common in terms of the way we think about movement and food and body image and diet culture and anti-d diet culture and, um, to be honest.
[00:01:51] It's always fun to talk to someone who shares similar opinions as you, let's be honest. So , um, I wanted to bring Sarah on, um, and just have a [00:02:00] conversation to share with you guys and, um, share her background and perspective and just, um, offering more resources and support for all listeners. So, hi Sarah.
[00:02:10] Hi. Oh my gosh. I wish that this had a video on it cuz I wish you could have seen my face when you were like, the people that I bring on are so special I was like screaming like silently. I'm like, oh, I feel so honored.
[00:02:26] I'm glad. I mean it's true like, and again, like I feel kind of bad saying that cause it makes it seem like all my other guests weren't special. They were. But just moving forward, like solo episodes. , I love them. They take less time. They're shorter for listeners to listen to. So when someone comes on like, I want it, I know it's gonna be something that's gonna be a really impactful, helpful conversation for people who are following this podcast.
[00:02:49] Like I just, there's like no shadow of a doubt in my mind about that. So,
[00:02:52] I love that. Thank you so much.
[00:02:54] You are the kindest person.
[00:02:57] Aw, thank you.
[00:02:58] that
[00:02:59] Um, [00:03:00] so your physical therapist turned strength coach, um, and I'd love to hear why, cause that's an, I think a kind of an un, like a not very common shift sometimes I think it's almost more like the other direction.
[00:03:15] So I'd love to hear why you made that shift and then we can kind of dive in from.
[00:03:20] Yeah. So I'll just try to make it pretty quick, but. I have a very common story, I guess, where, you know, I was in high school and I tore my a c l, had surgery, re tore my a c l, had more surgery and went through tons and tons of PT and decided like, oh, this is what I wanna do for the rest of my life. And I was convinced that being a physical therapist was my calling and.
[00:03:49] like I went through school. I loved it. I loved everything I learned, loved all of the skills that I acquired, um, all of my experiences. Um, it was [00:04:00] really fantastic. And I got into the clinic and, uh, wide-eyed and bushy tailed, just super excited and, quickly found out, I mean, I only practiced for two and a half, three years and just quickly found out that the, um, like western medicine, current healthcare system that we have and um, insurance based care just was not for me.
[00:04:28] And I really, really enjoyed like the coaching aspect of things. Not necessarily. I mean, rehab was fun, but it just, after a while wasn't, it just wasn't giving me that, um, that spark of passion anymore. I just was kind of going through the motions and starting to dread the workdays, and so I decided that I was gonna open my own cash pay business.
[00:04:56] But we moved to Texas and [00:05:00] once we got here and closed on our house, like everything just blew up in terms of the like economy and the like, rental market and housing market, everything. And so I was like, well, this is just not gonna work. I cannot, I, I just can't really swing that right now. So let me just try the online coaching stuff for a little bit.
[00:05:22] You know, get my feet under me and I'm just falling in love with it and realize that I love the coaching side of things and talking about things other than, uh, just pain all the time and rehab and, um, , that sort of thing. So I just, I love the program aspect. I love the strength aspect. Uh, I love talking about nutrition.
[00:05:44] I love talking about, you know, eating habits and changing our attitudes around food and exercise and strength, and especially when it comes to women and how everybody has like this negative connotation about strength [00:06:00] training for women and how you're supposed to eat as a woman and like all of these things,
[00:06:04] Yeah.
[00:06:05] um, I've just fallen in love with that side of.
[00:06:08] That's awesome. I, I totally like feel that too. Like coaching gets so much into the mindset and the behaviors and it's not just about like, I taught movement yoga, strength training for a long time and it was, but it was just that, it was there really so much around like the mindset around. , all of it. And it's so nice to be able to dig in with people as to like where their, their behaviors are coming from, like what are their goals and being really action oriented around it.
[00:06:38] That's like the thing that I love the most about coaching is helping people see, okay, this is where my challenges are, this is where my obstacles are. Having some self-compassion around that and then helping them kind of take action to move forwards.
[00:06:51] Yeah, and I think too with coaching, it has helped me be able to open up and help people. In a lot of different aspects [00:07:00] of their life, right? Like, okay, we like, okay, so when I was at the clinic, you know, working as a PT and I'm talking to people after they're recovering from surgery or they're recovering from back pain or you know, chronic back pain or like these terrible injuries, I'm like, we have to talk about more than just. the Thera Bands and your three sets of 10 and this and the East Im, and the ultrasound, like we have to talk about your sleep, your food, your hydration, all of these things. I didn't have the time to do it and plus I had a boss that was kind of like, that's out of your scope of practice. You shouldn't be talking about that.
[00:07:34] You need to be referring them out. And I'm like, you know, Holding my tongue
[00:07:39] Yeah.
[00:07:40] I'm like,
[00:07:41] They're a whole
[00:07:42] is not like this is an entire person sitting in front of me, not just a knee and not just a shoulder. This is a whole human being that I know that I can help in a lot of different ways. Like it might just be something so simple as helping them sleep better at night and their [00:08:00] pain might start to go away.
[00:08:01] You know what I mean? So for me, the coaching has really been able to give me more options of helping people in different ways too, and not just kicking their leg or, you know, moving their arm up and down
[00:08:15] Not just seeing someone as like a body part. It's like humans are ecosystems and what's happening in your knee is affected by, to your point, like how you're sleeping, what are your stress levels? What's your, what's, how are you eating? Like how are you thinking about your body? It's all interwoven.
[00:08:30] And to try and pull things apart and only address them, address them in isolation. I mean, this is kind of like a systemic problem we have with like healthcare right now. Um, but yeah, I, I, I totally am with you and, and love that that's sort of how you're thinking about things. Um, so one of the things I've seen you doing recently on Instagram is lifting super heavy weights. Like super happy and that's all relative, but [00:09:00] this is like, even if it's not relative, this is heavy. And I'd love for you to talk about why you do that, what the benefits have been for you, and um, I guess also like how that shows up in your coaching.
[00:09:12] Yeah, so I will say, I mean, we'll, we'll kind of get into the conversation here. The first thing I wanna say about that, it's funny because people are like, oh my God, I can't believe you're lifting that much weight. And for me, I'm like, , this isn't enough. Like I want more, you know what I mean? To me, which that kind of comes with, I don't know if it's necessarily body image, but it is like the narrative and the things that we tell ourselves in our head, right?
[00:09:38] That these things about not being good enough and wanting more, and well, even though somebody else thinks that it's impressive, I'm not there yet. Um, in my mindset. Uh, you know, I I started lifting weights when actually it wasn't really until like the end [00:10:00] of undergrad into grad school. So like when I played high school sports and I had a coach that never did weightlifting, which don't, I'm not even gonna get on that soapbox, but he didn't believe in it, which is absolutely re yeah, we won't even tangent that, but I have very strong feelings about that.
[00:10:18] Um, And so then I didn't really exercise, like after the second time I tore my a c l because I was just like depressed. Um, and I had like a bunch of other things going on in my life. And so I didn't really start like exercising until like toward the end of undergrad. , honestly. And then when I got into like grad school, PT school, I started doing more weightlifting and, um, my now husband was the one kind of like coaching me through that and like proper form and things like this.
[00:10:50] And I just fell in love with it. And ever since then have just like, just kept going and it's amazing like, [00:11:00] if you're consistent over time and over year after year, you're amazed at how much weight you're able to pick up. And for me it's just like this big, like confidence, empowerment, just like straight up feeling like a badass when you can pick up a certain amount of weight.
[00:11:20] Um, and then just feeling very. , like grateful for the fact that your body can do these like so amazing things. Like it's just, it, it's amazing to me and this is why I follow like a bunch of people on Instagram who like, especially women who are just lifting super heavy weights and or like the Olympic weightlifting side of things.
[00:11:42] It's just so cool with the human body is capable of if you just, you know, give it what it needs and stay consistent and continue to challenge yourself. That's like why I do it, cuz I like the way that it makes me feel on the inside.[00:12:00]
[00:12:00] I, I love that. And I think what you shared about like what our bodies are capable of is such a huge part of why we struggle with body image, that you kind of like quickly mentioned that, and you and I have talked about that offline. Um, in that because body image is how we perceive our bodies, the meaning that we assign to what they look like and it's all externally, um, kind of aesthetically driven.
[00:12:27] And that's not to say. , you can't care about how you look. We naturally all care about how we look, and also we need to value our bodies for like what they do, for how they support us, for the experiences they allow us to have for the way they function and perform and exercise in general. But strength training specifically is such a powerful way to do that.
[00:12:49] It really becomes like a tool to help improve your body image.
[00:12:53] Yes, I totally agree. I mean, there's physiological reasons why [00:13:00] I. Really try to encourage people to do some sort of strength training or resistance training. Uh, no matter what, no matter what your age is, no matter what your preferred, uh, mode of exercise is, no matter what your capabilities are, you know your abilities in terms of physicality.
[00:13:17] Um, , no matter your gender, it doesn't matter. Everybody should be doing some sort of resistance training because there's just so many great physiological benefits. Uh, but then also I love the, like the mindset and the um, you know, the emotional and psychological benefits you get from it too. Because personally, I mean, we all struggle with body image, you know?
[00:13:42] Um, and for me, if I'm having a, like a bad day. Cuz you know, you always have good days and bad days. Some days you're like, yeah, I feel great. Like, who cares how I look? You know, I don't give a shit. Nobody else should give a shit. Like, I feel fantastic. Uh, [00:14:00] but there's other days where, you know, you're really hard on yourself.
[00:14:02] And I just continue to try to have this narrative in my head of like, okay, you know, you might not have a positive. Um, outlook on your body, like what your body looks like today, but just remember that you fucking lifted 315 pounds off the ground. So fuck that shit . Like your body is super strong. Who gives a fuck what it looks like today?
[00:14:27] Like,
[00:14:28] Yeah.
[00:14:30] And so that's what I tell myself and I kind of just try to like hype myself up a little bit. Um, some days it helps. Some days it's worthless. But
[00:14:40] it's an ongoing
[00:14:41] tend to only value and think about our bodies in terms of like what they look like on the outside. And so this is such a, I'm not gonna say easy, but it's a simple way. to kind of flip that and give yourself another way of kind of perceiving and experiencing and seeing your body as something other [00:15:00] than something that you see yourself and something other than what people look at and see on the outside.
[00:15:07] It's like, it's the function, it's the experience. It's that sense of like being alive and feeling like, like when I lift heavyweights, I get this feeling of like, like vitality of like being alive.
[00:15:19] Mm-hmm.
[00:15:20] in a way that other forms of exercise and movement don't do, and they have like other benefits, but that. . You know, and I think people, I think that's one of those things that people are like, I don't, I don't believe that.
[00:15:32] I don't buy into that , I don't think this, but it, it, it does. Like you have to experience it for yourself. Um,
[00:15:39] It's kinda like,
[00:15:40] like you just referenced, 315 pounds, which is eight shit ton of weight to deadlift . If you're new to strengths training, you're not going to start there. Obviously don't be freaked out, but it's all relative.
[00:15:50] Like 50 pounds for you could be Sarah's 315. Like it's all relative. Like what heavy is, um, but it really just gives you a way [00:16:00] to shift your perspective and realize that your body, when you feel that it's like there's this somatic nature to it. By somatic I mean like of the body, it helps you kind of get into like feeling and sensing what it is to like move and exist in your body versus just like seeing yourself on the outside, which is, it's a very different lived experience.
[00:16:22] It really is because. when you are. So the, I like the way that I try to explain it is, uh, cuz what you're talking about is like that, that vitality feeling, right? Like that high feeling that you get almost, it's kind of like what people talk about that runner's high when you go and you run a lot or whatever.
[00:16:44] I'm not a runner. I'm not a cardio person. I hate running. I've never got a runner's high. I don't like it. Like I've ran. up to six miles, and I still, like, at the end I was like, okay, that, like, I just feel exhausted and gross. Like, I did not get a runner's . [00:17:00] I just hated it the whole time. But, uh, when I'm weightlifting and, you know, lifting heavy weights, that's like, that's it for me.
[00:17:10] I get that high. I just feel so great afterwards. I'm like, that's it, that's all I need in my life. And the rest of my day I could just like, lay on my couch and be happy. I'm just, I'm fine. I'm, I'm good.
[00:17:20] That's awesome.
[00:17:21] So, uh, and I think you're right too. You know, when you are, when you pick up a heavy weight and again, relative right.
[00:17:29] Um, whatever is, and I I have to mention this before I forget. We were talking about relativity. Um, I don't know if you follow her, Lori, Christine King, uh, she's one of Shante's friends,
[00:17:42] Yeah, I'm familiar with her. Yep.
[00:17:45] Sheep made a really great post yest, I think it was yesterday or the day before, and I shared it on my stories about, you know, when you're talking about like for example, I lifted, you know, deadlifted 315 pounds.
[00:17:58] Well, it may not seem like [00:18:00] much to somebody else, but to me this is really great. And she was like, stop saying. You know, be proud of what you're doing. Be proud of what weight you're able to do. Look at the person that you were, you know, six months ago, a year ago, three months ago, and compare you to where you started.
[00:18:18] Don't compare you to people who have been doing this for five years, 10 years, 15 years, because it's just not, it's not practical. It's not realistic, right. So, uh, but when you. Lifting that heavy weight and you're, or pushing that heavy weight or pulling whatever you're doing. You just like in the moment, you're right, like you just feel like a badass.
[00:18:42] You're like, you know, you're rowing something heavy and you're like, yeah, go town. And you're like, yeah, I'm a freaking badass. Like
[00:18:53] Yes.
[00:18:54] And you feel like it sounds silly, but like while you're doing it, you do, you feel cool, you're like, [00:19:00] yeah, I'm fucking cool. Like
[00:19:01] Yeah. Yeah. But then that has so much power to like shift your attention and your focus away from like, oh look, I have like this fat rolling over my pants. Or I have cellulite. Or like, you know, I don't have a six pack. Or all the things that we, like, all this pressure that we put on ourselves because you're feeling so good.
[00:19:20] Like you mentioned, like you get that high. Then you don't have to rely on your appearance as the thing to make you feel good about yourself. Yes, it can be one part of it, but the, the challenge is that with people who really struggle with body images, like their appearance is the only thing they've got to, like, feel good about who they are and, and to feel that sense of like worth and happiness.
[00:19:41] And so what you're saying about how that makes you feel like that is so powerful and brings so much joy and so much confidence. , that's such an important source of that, not related to what we look like.
[00:19:55] Yeah. And I truly do think that [00:20:00] your, so I can say this right, I've been, I, I've lost a ton of weight before and not in a healthy way, um, intentionally, you know, trying to make myself smaller. And when I was that smaller size, I still. like satisfied. Uh, I'm still, you know, you're still picking things apart and then I've been heavier and, you know, picking things apart.
[00:20:29] So I, I think, you know, it, it body image is such a hard thing to overcome. It's something that I think that most of us are probably going to be, um, combating.
[00:20:44] Mm-hmm.
[00:20:44] for a long time, probably, maybe even the rest of our lives, and it might be, you know, a daily intention to, um, love ourselves and appreciate our bodies and, um, respect them.
[00:20:57] Right?
[00:20:57] Mm-hmm. . Yes, a hundred
[00:20:58] But when you're [00:21:00] changing your size, you, you, you truly don't. It's, it does, it doesn't make it go.
[00:21:07] right.
[00:21:08] right? Like, I'm losing this body fat and I lost my peer hit and my joints fucking hurt because I'm not eating and I'm still not happy with the way I look. So why did I do that to
[00:21:21] right. Because it's like a, it's a mismatch. Like when we use a diet and, and the reason people go on diets is because they don't like how they look. , right? That is the number one driver. They don't like how they look. They wanna lose weight, and they think that losing weight will make them like how they look better and make them happi.
[00:21:38] Except not liking how you look is negative. Body image. And body image by definition is your perception of what you look like. A diet changes the way that you eat. It's like a total mismatch. It's like trying to shove a square peg in a round hole. You're using something that changes the way you eat to try and fix the way that you think about your body, and that's never gonna [00:22:00] work.
[00:22:00] It is never, ever, ever going to work.
[00:22:02] that's a perfect way of saying that. I love the way that you said that. Um, it's like they're totally, they're not exclusive or totally dissociated from each other, but they're, they're two different, they're different
[00:22:19] Yes,
[00:22:20] and, uh, I don't know where I was gonna go
[00:22:26] that's okay. So I wanted to ask you, cuz you just, you know, you just shared that you've, Lost a ton of weight and been in a smaller body and gained some weight, and it sounded like been like a bigger body than you are now. So how did you, how have you kind of gotten to where you are right now?
[00:22:44] Oh, so I, um, you know, a few years ago I was really big into the CrossFit. Thing. And we at that CrossFit gym specifically, we did a lot of like running and longer cardio. And that's when I was, I [00:23:00] did like a couple of five Ks. I was running a lot and um, I was gonna train for a 10 K. Um, and so I was just doing like, I was still losing weightlifting cuz of CrossFit.
[00:23:13] Of course you are still doing weightlifting. Um, but I kind of. Burnt out from it and then also realized that I was eating like 1200 calories a day. I didn't know it, like I wasn't, I wasn't tracking my food. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was eating. I was just kind of sometimes eating something and then I started paying attention and I was like, oh wow.
[00:23:41] Like I'm really not eating much at all. And so we, uh, that was when we were living in Virginia. So we left Virginia and we came to Texas and I was like, you know what? I'm just going to focus on what I'm eating. I actually was like, I think I need to [00:24:00] bulk, like, I think I need to just eat more food and focus on just strength training because my body truly was breaking down like I was having like horrible back pain.
[00:24:11] like back injuries all the time. My shoulder was like, when I was walking my shoulder, when I was swinging it by my side was just like clunking, like subbing in and out of place. My knee was like totally fucked. Uh, my head and neck, like I just had so much like. Uh, like upper trap and neck tension, I just was like breaking down my body.
[00:24:33] So I'm like, okay, I need to just maybe chill out a little bit. And I started increasing my calories and doing a lot of strength training. I put on like, I don't know, 15, 10 or 15 pounds,
[00:24:47] Okay.
[00:24:48] and it was like the heaviest that I had ever been, and I was like, My God, I cannot believe that this is what the scale says.
[00:24:56] I was totally free, and I won't share it because I, I don't [00:25:00] share my weight. I, I don't talk about the numbers because, you know, one 50 on this person looks very different and one 50 on these 20 other people. Like, it's just, we're all very different. We carry weight differently. So I'm not even gonna share my personal weight, but totally freaked me out and.
[00:25:19] Um, I think I also did it wrong. I did almost kind of like a quote dirty book where I was just kind of eating like everything. I was eating like a ton of protein, but then just like a lot of everything else. And I was eating 2,800 calories, which was a lot for me. Um, and got like pretty. Just kind of down on myself about, you know, how I was looking and how I was feeling.
[00:25:50] How I was feeling was kind of just like, Ugh, God, I can't believe, like, ugh, like I just felt slow and,
[00:25:59] Yeah. You [00:26:00] felt a physical shift as a result
[00:26:01] Yeah, and like my clothes weren't fitting right. I mean, a lot of other great shifts happened where my recovery was good. I didn't have mu like, I didn't have like, uh, doms, like I didn't have like long-term muscle soreness from my workouts.
[00:26:15] I was recovering very nicely. My sleep was really great. My period was on track, like came back and was becoming more regular, uh, than it was before. . And so I have like, like things that were getting better, but like my clothes weren't fitting right, so I just, and I felt like slower, my cardio was like not good anymore.
[00:26:37] So I decided to do like a cut, uh, in 2021, and I dropped like 10 or 12 pounds and felt really good. Honestly. I, and it was like the perfect amount of like weight for me to cut down. Um, and I stayed there for a while. I maintenance, and then I kind of solely built back up again and I [00:27:00] put on a little bit more weight and, but it felt more like healthier weight rather than just like, you know, eating a bunch of stuff and being like bloated and uncomfortable all the time.
[00:27:12] yes. It was intentional, like the way you were thinking about the.
[00:27:15] Right. Exactly. A lot more intentional. Um, and so I've kind of just been like hanging out. , like in maintenance, like at that level for a while and been feeling pretty good, but kind of getting to the point where I'm like, you know what? Like I, I kept at maintenance and kept higher and kept a higher weight because I had intentions of increasing my strength.
[00:27:41] My, I wanted to hit that deadlift goal of 315 pounds, and so I just kept eating, like eating. Higher amounts of calories, uh, finally hit that goal and I was like, you know what? I'm ready to kind of like chill out, maybe lose a little bit more [00:28:00] weight to, you know, feel a little bit better like in my clothes.
[00:28:03] Not necessarily how I look, but just like my, I want my jeans to fit a little bit. Better. You know, I want my shirts to fit a little bit
[00:28:15] better. Uh, I want my bikinis to fit a little bit better. Not, oh, I feel gross in this bikini. Just, you know, I'm kind of tired of this pinching
[00:28:27] like in my groin area.
[00:28:29] you had had this like physical goal, right? To get to this level of strength, to be able to lift that amount of weight, which is like very much about being in your body, and you did that. , and it sounds like maybe that wasn't like, that was very intentional. You had to really be mindful about eating enough to do that, to kind of add on that additional weight.
[00:28:48] Yes. And so that's the thing, what you and I were kind of talking about like right before we got on this podcast where. you know, we can't, it's, you cannot talk about like strength training [00:29:00] without also talking about what you're eating and all of that kind of wraps into body image and how you're feeling on a day-to-day basis.
[00:29:09] Just how you're feeling, but then also how you're perceiving the way that you look as well. Uh, you can't, they all kind of just start to blend together and, you know, I had a client that was like, you know, I wanna lift 315 pounds. I'd be like, okay, well first of all, this is gonna take a few years. Second of all, So bear with me.
[00:29:31] We're in this long, for the long haul. Second of all, we have to eat for that. And so like right now I'm cutting my calories down a little bit. Not a lot. I'm still like not, I'm not like starving. I'm not irritated. I'm not super hungry all the time. Um, but I'm switching my training program to more of. Like a hypertrophy type of like set and rep range where it's [00:30:00] safer.
[00:30:00] Um, for like my strength training, if that makes
[00:30:06] So when you say those are people who are listening, when you talk about hypertrophy, like sets and reps, what does that mean?
[00:30:13] Yeah, so I, my, my sets and reps right now are ranging between like eight to 12 reps. So like, when you're doing strength training, you should be looking in like the three to six rep range. If you're doing like power training for like Olympic lifting, um, and stuff like that, you're more in like the one to three rep range.
[00:30:31] Um, and so I was doing like heavyweight low reps, like really high volume, like more sets, low reps. uh, with my strength training and eating a lot to support that. Uh, but now that I'm cutting back, it's just not feasible. It's not safe. Like you're not supporting your recovery and your muscles and your body.
[00:30:57] Um, if you're doing like [00:31:00] big heavy volume and big heavy weight and you're only eating, you know, like right now I'm at like 1800 calories. Like between 1800 and 1900, I have like a 100 calorie range that I kind of work in. Um, then I would not like try to attempt a 315 one Rat Max again.
[00:31:19] Right, right. Um, and I think it's, I really appreciate you sharing all this cuz one of the other conversations you and I have had is around, and I just wrote a big email about this on Monday, um, is about this, you know, diet culture versus anti-D, diet culture and anti-D diet culture. basically like being about this belief that losing weight at the expense of your mental or emotional wellbeing is never okay, and I think you and I a hundred percent agree with that.
[00:31:52] Mm-hmm.
[00:31:53] Now, that being said, there's I think, simultaneous to kind of establishing that and, and, and holding [00:32:00] space and, and talking about that there's created this feeling that if someone wants to lose weight at all, ever. that they now feel guilty. They feel like they shouldn't want to, they feel like they have to accept their body just as it is.
[00:32:14] And I think that's hugely problematic, um, because it takes away people's autonomy. It, there's so much nuance and so much complexity as to what health looks like. Health is not solely determined by someone's weight. Um, and. Like if you are eating in a way that feels terrible to you where you feel outta control and you're binging and you don't know how to kind of plan and eat enough protein and vegetables and you're lacking nutrition and that's causing your body to gain weight, like that's a problem.
[00:32:47] To just accept that and say like, okay, well this is just how it is and I need to just accept it because otherwise I'm part of diet. Culture is like negatively impacting someone's wellbeing.
[00:32:56] Yeah, it, I 100% agree [00:33:00] with you. It. The pendulum is like, not with, with, uh, diet culture and anti-d diet culture, I feel like the pendulum just needs to like, like just hang in the middle. Like nobody touch it. Don't push it, just leave it because it's swinging way too far, you know, to. Uh, anti-D, anti-D diet culture or it's swinging too far toward diet culture.
[00:33:27] Like, it's just, it's, there's no good middle ground. And you're right, it creates like this shame and guilt in people and also this uncertainty, and I totally agree with you. Like it takes away their autonomy and like now they're questioning themselves and they're questioning, you know, what is right and what is wrong.
[00:33:47] They're having like a whole values. Whole values and morals dilemma in their, in their mind and in their body. Like, what is wrong with me? That I wanna change myself? [00:34:00] Well, I wanna change myself because I don't feel good, but I, what's wrong with feeling bad? What's wrong with the way that I'm feeling? Why is that bad?
[00:34:07] And then there's like this whole thing, and it's just, you're right. It it. Mm.
[00:34:15] Yeah, . I know as we were saying that, I was just thinking, and I, I hope I didn't lose the thought, but it's like with diets, it's like people were shamed into losing weight to feel good. Like that was the only way. Like you had to get into a smaller body in order to like feel good and be accepted. And now with anti-D diet culture, it's like you're being shame.
[00:34:37] Into not wanting to lose a weight. Like you have to stay exactly as you are. And it's like, well, why can't people make choices? Like, and I love that you mentioned this about values because that's what it comes back to. Like when you go on a diet and you restrict food and you're eating to your point 1200 calories a day and you're cutting out everything you love and you're doing crazy workouts, there is nothing about that that lines up with someone's values [00:35:00] ever.
[00:35:00] And we all have different values, but I can pretty much say that's not gonna align with someone's values in a positive.
[00:35:06] Right, exactly. And if you are, if you are a mother or a father and like hypothetically, right, and you are. In a place in your life where you don't feel good, you are pre-diabetic, your blood pressure has been elevated, and you have all of these, um, diagnoses that are coming up and starting to be thrown your way, and you start thinking, wow.
[00:35:32] You know, I really wanna change my lifestyle because, you know, I wanna be here for my kids. I wanna, like, I've used this example because it's just so common, right? Like, I wanna be here for my kids. I wanna be able to play with my kids. I wanna do these things with my kids. Like I'm looking at my kids and I want this to ha like, be a good future for all of us.
[00:35:50] And, but then all of a sudden that person is feeling like they're being shamed or they're being guilted because they wanna lose weight. and it's, [00:36:00] it's so much more than that. It's so much more than just, you know, the, the, the number on the scale. It's so much more than like the body fat per percentage or the BMI or whatever, which BMI is just like the most ugly thing in the world, right?
[00:36:13] We don't even have to talk about that. I think we're in agreeance, but because somebody wants to change the way that they feel when they wake up every day, they're being shamed for that. I mean, it was just like when Adele lost a bunch of weight and everybody. Giving her so much hate, which, why are we even commenting on that?
[00:36:30] right?
[00:36:32] Why are we, why is that even like a, like a topic of focus, like
[00:36:38] Yeah. I mean that's, that's like a whole other thing is the way like. We comment on people's bodies and make assumptions about weight loss and weight gain and what that means about who they are and their habits and their health and their values, and who they, and their happiness. And like, there's so much there to unpack.
[00:36:58] Um,
[00:36:59] we would [00:37:00] need a few hours
[00:37:01] yeah, I we can do a part too, for sure. Um, but yeah, it's just to me, and, and, and he, the thing is, is that, You can, I mean, this is like the work that I do, and I know you do this type of coaching with people as well, but you can lose weight without dieting. Right? Dieting is, is, is about restriction. It's about punishment, it's about rigidity, learning skills around food and paying attention and learning what it means to be hungry instead of starving, and full instead of stuffed.
[00:37:32] And how to slow down and how to, like what portions of food look like and how much protein you need, and how much fiber you need. Learning to figure out what's the difference between being hungry and have a craving. Those are skills, and when you start to learn those skills and practice them, your body weight.
[00:37:48] Can and often will change as a result. And look, if you've been in like major deprivation and your body is probably underweight, you could possibly gain weight from that. Um, I think [00:38:00] for most people, that's usually not like the, the trajectory because. Most people have been like paying so little attention to food and, and, and using food for purposes besides hunger, that we end up kind of carrying more body fat than we might need.
[00:38:14] And so once we start using those skills, which feel better and improve our relationship with food, our body weight may change.
[00:38:21] You know what? Honestly, like most of the time, most of the people that I work with, it's all about the, uh, like the changes that we make are about the, um, like the contents of what they're eating or the quality of food that they're eating. So it's not so much that like, , you know, I, you know, will ask people to say, okay, like here for a week, first of all, on our first call I say, you know, tell me what you've ate in the past 48 hours.
[00:38:52] And then I say like, log that, like keep track of what you're eating over the week. And I wanna know, because I wanna have a good [00:39:00] idea of like where you currently are and what your calorie range is. And then we can start to make adjustments. And nine times out of. or more than nine times outta 10. It's a lack of protein and a lack of vegetables and a lot of, um, you know, processed of frozen food, which there's nothing wrong with that.
[00:39:22] I don't have any problem with that. But most of the time you just have to shift like your macros, right? And a lot of times some people, don't really have a change in number on this scale. Their number might stay the same, but their body composition starts to change where they're supporting more muscle growth, um, they're, you know, so they're having more muscle growth and more like, Uh, a different type of stature, but losing body fat.
[00:39:48] So sometimes the number completely stays the same. And, you know, we try to preface that like, hey, you know, and there are only certain people I think, that need to be really looking at and [00:40:00] focusing on the number on this scale. Um, some people get like, way too caught up in it and it has very negative connotations on, uh, you know, their, their, uh, attitude for the day. um, it just really brings them down. And so that's kind of a different conversation too, like, but there's only a certain amount of people, certain types of people that I think should be really looking at the scale on a consistent basis. Unless you have very, very, very specific, um, goals and you are okay with what that number is saying,
[00:40:35] right? Like you don't have, well maybe if you have a history, but you've addressed all of your disordered eating. challenges, right? You've kind of recovered, or as you know, recovered as you can be before you move into a place where that's something that you focus on. Like the scale is one, it's one tool.
[00:40:53] and it's not even really that great of a tool
[00:40:55] No, a hundred percent.
[00:40:58] It can be, but like, literally, [00:41:00] like, I mean, it could be water weight, it could be bloating, it could be, you know, maybe you stepped on the scale a little bit later today than you did yesterday or whatever. So, or it could be something that you ate the night before, or maybe you ate later last night than you did the night before.
[00:41:15] You know, it's just, it's, it's not.
[00:41:18] yeah, it's, it could, because it doesn't, the skill is not just measuring body fat, it's measuring everything that you just said and more. And it's normal for it to change every day, for it to go up and down. And this is what people don't know, like we always think it's supposed to go. , like if you're trying to lose weight, it's always supposed to go down.
[00:41:37] Like that's not going to happen biologically, physiologically speaking, it's impossible for that to happen. It's just like this. I don't know where we were taught that, but that's what everyone thinks and it's like a lie, , it's a lie. Um, and it's such a hard thing for people to overcome.
[00:41:55] yeah, and you know what? You're right. I, I mean, I, [00:42:00] I operate, pretty much similar, very similarly to the way that you do. Okay. Let's focus on the way that you're feeling and let's focus on changing the way that you feel on a day-to-day basis. Are you feeling, you know, more awake? Are you feeling less foggy?
[00:42:17] Do you feel like. less groggy and less slow. How are you feeling? How is your sleep quality? Like let's focus on those things and then the body composition changes. We'll start to come with all of that. And I just love the stuff that you talk about on your Instagram about, around all of those skills like your, in your nourishing notes that you sent out.
[00:42:39] There's just so many good skills in there that. and they were good reminders for me too, that like sit down and actually, you know, put your stuff on a plate, your food on a plate when you're eating, put your fork down between bites. Those have made huge differences for me, like, And like my hunger cues and my [00:43:00] satiety and being comfortable after I eat, not feeling like overly full or like I, you know, ate a whole meal, but I feel like I didn't eat anything at all.
[00:43:07] So now I'm just gonna go snack on something. Um, , those are all just such valuable skills for people to have, um, around eating. And I hate using the word diet and I don't know, maybe that sounds cliche in this day and age, but diet has such a negative connotation. So I try to tell, I say, you know, we're gonna focus on your eating habits.
[00:43:32] We're going to, um, you know, switch up your lifestyle or make some lifestyle changes, or we're gonna build new habits instead of focusing on like the. Part of it that it has such a negative connotation
[00:43:45] does, like the word diet is, is by definition is just a way of eating. Um, it's been kind of hijacked into, has having like a really negative connotation. I don't think it will ever not have that. [00:44:00] So I'm with you. It's like the language, the words that we use to talk about all of this. Matters. And, you know, diet is always forever, for all eternity going to be associated with like weight loss in like a negative way, in a punishing way, in a restrictive way and, and all of that.
[00:44:18] Um, so yeah, it's like behaviors and habits and um, you know, guidelines and structure and all of that.
[00:44:26] Yeah, it's the, it's the restriction aspect of it that really kills me. And I wrote this in one of my posts recently. . Most of the time when I'm working with people, I'm talking about adding something in, right? We're not taking things away. We're adding in more protein. We're adding in more water, we're adding in more st.
[00:44:46] We're adding things, and I think maybe switching that narrative to more additive verbiage. More additive habits instead of restriction, taking [00:45:00] away food groups, taking away. , the ice cream, taking away the, you know, whatever. Um, it just kind of changes in my opinion, you know, it helps with the mindset type of,
[00:45:13] the mindset aspect
[00:45:14] an abundance mindset rather than a restrictive mindset.
[00:45:17] Exactly.
[00:45:18] Um, and it always, especially when it comes to food, it always mentally feels better when we think about what can I eat? What can I have? What, what can, can I add more? Versus like, what can't I have? What am I not allowed to have? And that's the typical way we approach
[00:45:35] Oh man, I can't stand it. When I see that stuff, I, oh, I'm having a cheat day, or I'm allowed to have this.
[00:45:42] Oh, I know, I know. Oh my god.
[00:45:44] five hard challenge, I'm like, why in the fuck are we still doing 75 hard?
[00:45:49] I know.
[00:45:50] I, I don't under, what are we doing? Like
[00:45:53] I know.
[00:45:54] stop, stop it.
[00:45:57] Stop it.
[00:45:58] Stop
[00:45:59] [00:46:00] Um, well, we can clearly like keep going for a long time and so maybe we'll have to do that. Um, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna put a pin in us and wrap it up. But before we do that, can you share how people can connect with you online?
[00:46:15] Yeah. So on Instagram, I am Sarah do dot strength coach, so you can find me there. And uh, I do Ha and I do, I have a, um, Business page on Facebook. Uh, my business is Don ability. And so that's what my focus is, is um, ability and showing people what they're capable of and what they're able to do, and how amazing our bodies are when we allow them to do the things that, uh, they can do.
[00:46:51] Right. So, uh, Don Ability is my, my business name and I have a website, don ability.com. If you'd like to [00:47:00] connect, um, I do have a newsletter, sign up on my website, and then if you, uh, via email, I am sarah don ability.com. So
[00:47:10] And I'll, um, I'll link all that stuff in the show notes too.
[00:47:13] Perfect, perfect. Perfect.
[00:47:15] you so much, Sarah. This has been awesome. And, um,
[00:47:18] Oh, I'm so honored. I just, I'm, I'm so glad that we did this. I, I, I really, I really appreciate this conversation, so thank you so much for having me.
[00:47:27] too. Thank you.
[00:47:28] Yes.
[00:47:29] All right. Bye.
[00:47:31] Bye.
[00:47:31]