how to heal my relationship with food: a 3 step process
If you’re reading this blog post, it’s likely because you’ve been on an endless search to stop feeling so obsessed with food all of the time. You’ve probably googled “how to heal my relationship with food” a thousand times, and ended up following countless meal plans and programs, hoping they would do what you want them to do.
But…they haven’t. You’re still here, wondering how to heal my relationship with food.
Make sure you check out the bottom of this blog for a free 4 minute coaching lesson all about the real reason you feel out of control around food--and exactly what to do about it.
Well, I’ve got you. Because I’ve been there myself and I’ve coached close to 100 women through this 3 step process.
Tell me if this feels familiar: It feels like food is a constant battle. You’re either on a diet, researching a diet or saying, screw this to a diet.
You’re trying hard, you’re following the rules but nothing is changing. And you are thinking about food constantly—as soon as one meal ends you’re fixated on the next one…calculating what time you can eat and how many calories you can have.
You get pissed at your partner or your kids when they’re eating something you’re not allowed to. And then after holding on so tight, eventually the whole thing blows up—you eat the burger and fries, sit in front of the the TV with the pint of ice cream, buy the candy bar at the checkout counter. Because nothing is working anyway, so why, bother right?
It feels good in the moment and then you’re back at square one. Wondering yet again…is this how it will always be? Is there a way to figure out how to heal my relationship with food?
Yep, there is. Let’s dive in.
How to heal my relationship with food: the 3 step process
Step one:
Take away the timelines and deadlines. You didn’t end up where you are in the last 60 days, which means a 60 day diet isn’t going to fix things. Urgency creates urges. So the stricter you are with setting a deadline on weight loss, the more intense the pressure becomes and the harder it is to do anything long term.
You’ve likely been dealing with disordered eating for many many years (it’s ok, I have too, as have all my clients, so you are not alone). That doesn’t mean you need years to change it, but it does mean you need more than a 30 day bootcamp or meal plan.
Start thinking in 6-12 months rather than 6-12 weeks. My favorite one liner to share with clients this: I’m here to help you make changes that will last the next 30 years, not the next 30 days. If you can’t see yourself doing whatever it is you’re doing 6 months from now, don’t bother doing it.
Step 2:
Start feeding yourself with enough nutrition to stay full for 4-6 hours. This is a game changer.
If you are currently eating every 2-3 hours, you are doing yourself no favors. I know it feels like you’re eating less overall, but what’s actually happening is you have a constant low level of hunger and never feel truly full so your brain is always thinking about food, even in the background. Plus you’re actually eating way more than you think you are because snacks are never filling and you always want more.
Load 5-6 ounces of efficient protein, high fiber veggies, a starchy carb and some fat onto your plate and enjoy!!!
Step 3:
Give yourself permission to eat the foods you are afraid of. I know, I know. You’re like, yeah right, if I do that, all bets are off. I get it.
It’s not about giving yourself a free for all. It is about creating some structure and boundaries around foods that feel triggering (for most folks this includes foods we typically label as “bad” aka, chips, cookies, cake, ice cream, pizza, fries, you get the idea). As long as you keep feeling afraid of those foods, you will never heal your relationship with food.
So how do you give yourself permission without eating an entire bag of chips every day? You have one serving of chips WITH a protein and veggie packed meal (see step 2 above 😉). You eat the chips sitting down at a table, without scrolling TikTok or checking work email. After you finish your meal you set a timer for 15 minutes if you have the urge for more. This is what I mean by structure and boundaries—when you put these systems into place, it’s nearly impossible to have a free for all.
These steps are written in a specific order. One builds on the next, so try not to jump ahead! Figuring out the answer to your question: how to heal my relationship with food is exactly what we do in online nutrition coaching. Learn more here!
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