episode 251: the smarter way to deal with cravings

Nov 10

Ever tell yourself “I’ll just have one”… and then wonder how the whole bag disappeared?

Or swing the other way — “Nope, I can’t have that, I’ll go off the rails” — and still end up thinking about it all day?

This episode is about the middle skill that almost no one teaches: the ability to not decide right away.

When you stop reacting to every craving — whether it’s with “screw it” or “I shouldn’t” — you create space to actually learn what’s going on.

And that changes everything.

💡 Inside this episode:

How to handle “trigger foods” without cutting them out
What happens when you delay a craving instead of fighting it
Why not deciding might be the most powerful decision you make
Real stories from clients (and me) about learning to ride the craving wave

Perfect timing as we roll into the holidays — this one’s about building calm and clarity around food, even when there’s candy, cookies, and chaos everywhere.

2025-11-03 13-49-24
[00:00:00] Hello friends, how are you? This episode is gonna air on Monday, November 10th, and I've been kind of starting to very slowly change up the way that I am planning out my content, trying to make it more cohesive for you guys so that it's less like. New content, new content, new content across social, across podcasts, and across email.
And that you start to see things, um, in multiple places. So one idea, you'll see it show up on social, you'll see it show up on the podcast, you'll see it show up on email. So it starts to feel a little bit more of a cohesion and that it's less of drinking from a fire hose and maybe a little bit more of sipping through a straw.
That's what I'm trying to move towards because I want. All of the free content, which is social, which is email, which is this podcast, podcast. It's a lot to work [00:01:00] together for you and be as helpful as possible, and more is not always better. Stuff that fits together and makes sense is better, and hearing things more than one time in more than one format, in more than one place is better.
And so that is what I am slowly shifting towards. So the reason I'm mentioning this is because what I'm talking about in today's podcast was a topic of a reel that I shared on social media last week. At the time that I'm recording this, I'm sharing it today. It's the funny thing about podcasts, but by the time you hear this, it will be at least a week later.
And it's gonna be talk, I'm talking about Halloween candy. Um, but this is not specific to Halloween. This is specific to literally any time you have food in the house that feels triggering or hard. Um, so this is gonna be really timely and really relevant coming into the holidays and all of the food that is going to be around.
And so what I wanted to talk about was, this is kind of a really specific experience that I just had in the last two hours that I kind of documented in real time. [00:02:00] Um, and that was around, I got hungry for lunch and I really didn't have anything in the house. 'cause I had just, um, I had my colonoscopy a couple days ago when it was a really hectic weekend.
I just had not been to the store. Um, but I always have yogurt and cottage cheese 'cause I stock that stuff up. It lasts a really long time. So I always have that around. So I had a cottage cheese bowl for lunch, which worked fine. Before I had the bowl, I was like really excited about having some Halloween candy for dessert.
We had a giant bowl at this point. Halloween was three days ago. We had a ton of candy in the house. Um, and I was really excited after my lunch to go and pick out a piece or two and like dig around and what do I want? It was just so fun. Right. Because Halloween candy is fun. It is cool. It's not the same as going to the store and buying a candy bar, which is like, I feel like what every health coach and influencer out there will tell you like, oh, it's just the same.
You can just go buy it at the store. It's not the same experience. It's just not. Um, that's like saying that like eating a piece of birthday cake alone in your bedroom is the same as like having it at like your 40th birthday party with all your [00:03:00] friends. Not the same. Anyway, I digress. Um, so I have my cottage cheese bowl.
Then I was full. I was a lot more full than I expected to be, and I didn't, my body was full. I actually didn't have, like, I didn't feel like I wanted the candy physically, but because I had already talked to myself about having it in advance, my brain so wanted it. My brain was like really excited about having candy, and I was like disappointed that I was kind of too full for it, like I still wanted it.
And so I had kind of a couple of options here, right? I could say, fuck it, you really wanted this thing. It's around, eat it. Anyway, I could have said, no, don't eat it. You are really full. Like you are not allowed to have that. Now you're full and fullness is a signal that you should never eat any more food, right?
Or I had a third option, which was to not make a decision at all, which was to do nothing at that time. And that's what I did. I didn't make a decision. I didn't say yes. I didn't say no. I waited, [00:04:00] I held off, I delayed. And in that moment I did that by taking Joey for a walk. And if you happen to be new to this podcast, Joey is my mini bernadoodle, and we go on a lot of walks.
Um, it, I happened to need to take her on a walk, but even if I didn't, I could easily have gone outside for a 10 to 15 minute walk. I could have gotten something done off my to-do list. I could have cleaned up around the kitchen. I could have thrown in some laundry. I could have scrolled TikTok, like something, something to fill the time.
I could set a timer, right? There are so many ways in which to kind of create some space in which you cannot choose to not make a decision. You're delaying a decision. So I took her for the walk, and in the first part of the walk, the craving actually got more intense and I was like, all right, okay, cool.
When I get home, I clearly still want this. I'm gonna have the candy. And then I kept walking and I noticed that it actually started to pass. And by the time we got back home 20 ish minutes later, I no longer wanted it. So the cravings started out at like, I don't know, I would say maybe like a five or a [00:05:00] six.
And it went up to like. I would say seven, eight ish before it went back down. It didn't go from a five or a six down to like a zero. So it's going to ebb and flow and that is totally normal. Like this is how cravings work. And so this practice of not making a decision, right, just 'cause you get an urge to eat something doesn't mean you have to decide right in that moment what to do about it.
You can wait. You can wait a minute, five minutes, an hour, depending on the circumstances, but there's pretty much in almost all situations time to wait to pause and see what is actually going to benefit you. Because with time comes information, right when we pause, I'm able to like gather and collect.
Some data I'm able to notice like, what's happening in my body? What am I thinking about? Why do I really want this? Does this feeling change over time? And then I can make a decision that's really fully in [00:06:00] alignment with all the data that I've collected instead of making a decision in the split second, the instant that I want something and just reacting to it.
So, right. This was in reference to Halloween Candy, and by the time you listen to this, it's gonna be 10 days post Halloween. You might be in the fuck it. We've already gotten rid of all our, all, all of our Halloween candy place. You might be in the shit. I've been eating too much Halloween candy. I need to get rid of it.
Place. You might be in the, you know, we just keep Halloween candy around until it's gone place. Right. Everyone who's listening is gonna be in some different variation of those realities. But again, oh my God, Joey just made the funniest sound. Um, she was agreeing with me. This is not just about Halloween.
This is about any food that you have in your house that feels, that takes a space in your brain that might feel triggering, that might feel hard, and especially coming into the holidays. Now we are okay. Now it is November 3rd. November 10th when you're listening to this. At the earliest we are in like prime time food [00:07:00] season.
Okay. There is stuff around that we're not used to having around. There's stuff around that. We have waited all year to have around kind of like Halloween candy. There's stuff that feels special and seasonal and once, once a year and there's a lot of food and there's events and there's just so much. And food takes up a lot of brain space this time of year.
Right. That's reality. And that's okay. That's normal. Yeah, but I want to equip you with a skill like this because when you are able to slow down and pay attention and not make an immediate decision, you learn a lot. I had a client that I worked with, this was some time ago at this point, who felt had a real struggle with peanut m and ms, and they would buy those big jars from Costco and she would go through them in a couple of days.
But at the same time, like the rest of her family really liked them. So for her to be like, we can just never keep these in a house was not an option. So we worked through a process to get her to a [00:08:00] place where she could have that around and be able to make a decision. And what happened is we worked through that.
She actually learned she was. I don't even love peanut m and m, m and ms as much as I thought I did. Right? Like once I slowed down and checked in and like really started to give myself some space to figure things out and decide like, do I really want this? Why do I want this? And then started really learning how to eat them.
It was like, these aren't even like as good as I thought they were, and everything changed for her, and she was able to have those large tubs in the house. And have a few when she wanted them and put it away when she was done. Right? So when you kind of give yourself space and you don't make an instant, um, reflex reaction in the moment, just, and just because you immediately want something, you give yourself space to notice and see what's happening, and you give yourself space to make a decision that is an informed, educated decision instead of like a snap reaction.
Even if that snap reaction is to say, no, you're not allowed to have this, don't have this. That just because you're saying no, don't have this, that's not always gonna [00:09:00] be in your best interest either, because if you're saying that and you really want that thing, or you're saying that because you're afraid to have that thing.
That is gonna backfire long term, right? That may work short term for you, but that's not something that you're gonna be able to do forever. So what I'm talking about here, this kind of not making a decision to delaying and waiting, this is a for life skill. This is something that you will start practicing and you will keep practicing and you, as you practice, you will get better and better at it.
And this is, this is it. This is like, this will be a game changer for you. I have another client who really struggled, um, with Skittles. It's actually someone I'm working with right now where she would open a bag of Skittles. They would be in her house, and as soon as they, as soon as she cut open that bag with those scissors, boom, they were just like, they would be gone within a few days and.
What we, what we started to practice was like noticing when she would get the urge for those and just pausing and saying, well, why do I want these? How am I gonna feel after I eat them? Like, what are they doing [00:10:00] for me? And slowly with practice around this. She started to realize like, I actually don't even feel great when I eat these.
Why am I eating these like this? This doesn't even feel good for my body. And that awareness only came because she stopped making an instant decision. She gave herself space to decide, yes, do I want them? No. Do I not want them? And in that space. A lot of information was able to reveal itself, right? So what I want you to take away from this episode is that when you get an urge to eat something, when you get a craving, you do not have to respond to it with, yes, I can have this.
Fuck it I'm giving in, or No, I'm not allowed to have this. In the exact moment that you have the craving, you can wait. You can see what happens. You don't have to make a decision. You can pause. You can hang out for a little bit and see what happens. What other information, what other experiences start to transpire in that space that you've given yourself that then better [00:11:00] informs the decision that you're going to make.
You're collecting more data. More data will help you make a better informed decision that's going to serve you and support you better. Right. Just because we have an urge for something doesn't mean we have to react to it in the moment. And again, by react, I don't mean just react, say, fuck it, I'm going to eat this.
I also mean react in the opposite way because, you know, I'm not allowed to have this because shutting yourself off and saying no and restricting because you're afraid or because you set a rule, is also not teaching you anything. You're not getting anything out of that. So both of these immediate, um, reflex reactions that we tend to do.
Are not teaching us anything. There's really not a lot of benefit there. There's no learning happening. There's just a slapping a bandaid on the situation. And you can, again, you can carry this with you, right? We're kind of through Halloween, there's, you know, remnants stuff sitting around. But now we're barreling straightforward into Thanksgiving, into holiday parties, into Hanukkah, into Christmas, whatever you celebrate to New Year's or not celebrate, there's [00:12:00] food around all the time.
So take this. And again, you can use this even just with cookies that are sitting in your cabinet. It doesn't have to be a special occasion. Start practicing when you get an urge for something. Wait. Don't make an immediate decision. Give yourself some time. See what happens. Then use what you notice in that space to then make an informed decision as to what is going to work and feel best for you.
That's what I got. I'll be back next week. Thank you guys for being here. You're amazing. I appreciate you and I'll see you soon.