episode 250: behind the scenes of life on a glp1
We’ve all heard the headlines about GLP-1s. The miracle weight-loss meds. The quick fix. The controversy.
But what does it actually feel like to live it?
Nicole has been my client for over a year, and she’s lost nearly 60 pounds since starting Zepbound. But that’s not the story.
This is about what happened underneath the weight loss—the food noise that finally quieted, the skill work that still had to happen, and the life she’s living now that no diet ever gave her.
What we talk about:
What “food noise” really feels like — and what happens when it finally goes quiet
The difference between biological change and behavioral change
Why the meds don’t replace the work — they create space for it
The “finish your plate” brain that doesn’t disappear overnight
How Nicole’s body image is evolving while she’s still losing weight
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250
jordana: [00:00:00] All right. Hi everyone. Welcome back to another episode of The Diet Diaries. I have no idea what number it is or what number this will be. I'm so excited. This episode has been a long time in the making. I'm here with a long time client and someone who I just truly adore, adore working with. Um, Nicole Lynch and I asked her to come on to the podcast, um, because she has been, we've been working together for like a year and a half.
And a little over a year ago, she started a GLP one, Ze Bound. And I, there's so much, I mean, I, so much noise, so much everything out there about. These medications and many of you who are listening are probably on them, or you if you're not, you know, someone who is on them. And I wanted to talk to and hear from Nicole and ask her to share her experience with you guys about what it has been like for a person who has been through what she has been through that led her to make this [00:01:00] choice and what it has been like for her to be on a GP GLP one to.
Do it with coaching and to hear from her where she is now, what's working, what's not working, um, because I think that there's just nothing more valuable than hearing it straight from a person who has lived this. Um, and yeah, so that's, that's what we're gonna do today. So here's Nicole.
nicole: Hello,
jordana: Hello. Hello. Um, okay, so I thought. Well, actually let me just do this. Nicole is you are 4 42 40, 42, Nicole's 42. She has a four and a half year old daughter. She works full-time, she runs her own business. Um, she is part of a huge family. She has a very full and busy life. So I just feel like it's helpful to know a little bit about like, just kind of some of those things.
'cause some people are like, oh well. You don't have this, you don't have that right? No. None of us have the same 24 hours in a day. But Nicole has a very, very full and busy 24 hours. [00:02:00] Um, and she has two dogs, including a new puppy. Um, so, okay. What I thought we could start with is I wanted to see if you could share kind of just like a little bit of backstory about your struggle with weight when it started.
What that was like for you. Um, and kind of get us up, you know, kind of somewhat into like the present day of, you know, where you've been the last, you know, four or five years.
nicole: Sure. Um, so for as long as I can remember, I have, weight has been a struggle for me. I am five 10. As a young, as a young girl, I would have teachers tell me, oh, you're not gonna be the tallest forever. You know, I just was always a big girl. I'm still the tallest, one of the tallest. Um, and weight has always been a struggle for me.
I was on. I'd be watched with what I was eating as a young girl. Um, when I'd see all of my friends in these [00:03:00] skinny, tiny bodies, I would compare and be like, well, why am I not like that? Why am I built so differently and why, why can't I lose the weight? And I, I literally, it's for as long as I can remember since I was a little girl.
I look back, you know, we have pictures and videos and stuff, and I look back and, you know, as a, up until I think three or four, I was. Quote, unquote, normal size. Um, and then as I just grew, I always had weight. Um, I was chunky. I wasn't, you know, would call like fat. I was chunky. Um, even through, uh, grade school, I would.
Look at different stores to shop at. I just was always bigger. Um, in high school, you know, you look back and you're like, oh, I wasn't so bad. But again, I I, that mentality of I was the big girl I was getting made fun of in grade school. I literally have been on. I, if there was a checklist, I've probably [00:04:00] been on almost every single diet way of eating healthy.
This, you know, low fat that, um, from Jenny Craig as a, a little girl, I was on it young, um, to LA weight loss, to Weight Watchers many times. Um, I went away for three weeks, um, to Canyon Ranch to try to get, you know, the whole. Food, exercise mindset, you know, it hit ha hit everything and I've succeeded in a lot of these.
But the problem is that I go right back, a lot of the yo-yo dieting. Um, and I constantly found myself back to not being happy, comparing again, why me? Why me? Why me?
jordana: Mm-hmm.
nicole: You know, uh, there's the genetic part, you know, is that there's so many things. Um, so. Now having had my daughter, I was at my biggest and COVID and all that fun [00:05:00] stuff.
I was at my absolute biggest and I was very overweight. Um, so I kind of. Having tried everything, I hear this, you know, this weight loss, like miracle drug quote unquote. Um, so of course I've tried everything. Why wouldn't I try this? Um, so that's, that leads me to today.
jordana: So when we, when you and I first started working together, you were, you were not on a medication, we weren't even, you had mentioned to me when you first started, you're like, I tried one of the GLP ones at some point previously. I think in, maybe in like the past year before that,
nicole: or so before. It was not when it was like
jordana: It wasn't like what it is today.
Right. So that would've been like two and a half years ago. Um, and I remember you saying it made me really sick. It was terrible. Like I couldn't, I couldn't tolerate it. And so much of the stuff that we started working on right. Was you were struggling with, um, a lot of emotional [00:06:00] eating and, and eating past the point of fullness and this feeling of like just being out of control, like.
Either not being able to get full or getting full, but enjoying the food so much and wanting more. And you, I think such an important thing to mention is you love to eat, you enjoy food, you take pleasure and food, as do I and I think as do a lot of the people who are listening, right? Eating is a, is a pleasure.
We're, we are the only, I always talk about this. We are the only like species that eats for pleasure and not just to survive. Um, and. When you, I mean, there are people out there who don't really care about eating, but I think that they're, they're few and far between, right? So and so when you love to eat, it does like, it becomes hard.
Something tastes so good and it's like you want more, even though your body doesn't need more, and it starts to not feel good in certain ways, it feels good in other ways, right? So there was a lot of that, and it was totally like a I've, I have done everything. And so we started working on some skills around starting to pay [00:07:00] attention to.
What were some of those triggers for emotional eating? What were you eating throughout the day? Starting to learn and pay attention to what would help me feel more full. What foods would maybe dial back some of those urges or some of those cravings. Um, and then even as we were working through that, things would kind of go well and then something would happen or there would be like a family weekend or, you know, something kind of out of routine.
Um. I wanted to ask you about, like, about that first experience of the GLP one, like why, what about it worked or didn't work, and what made you go back around to it the second time after it hadn't worked the first time?
nicole: So the first time I had seen, I won't, you know, name where, but I had seen, um, that it was, uh, not phentermine, um, the, it wasn't even called. GLP one, but it was a serum that you could do and you'd take your own [00:08:00] shots and it would really, you know, help stop di slow digestion. Um, so when I found that, I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna tell anybody I'm going on it because here we are, cold's, drying.
One more thing. Um, I kept it to myself. I did tell my husband, um, and. I was, as you mentioned, I was so sick. I would throw up all the time because at that point I did not have the, the mindset that I did, that I did when I did the GLP one of. I, I did. I wasn't versed in it. I also did not have a coach that I had those conversations of what I was thinking.
I was eating the way I normally would and didn't understand. I just heard. This could really make you lose weight. Let me try it. So I'm giving myself the injections with little knowledge. [00:09:00] Um, and I just continued to get sick and sick until it came to a point my husband was like, Nicole, like this is not, and I wasn't really losing weight.
If anything, I was gaining weight. Um, he was like, Nicole, this is like, you're miserable. Like you shouldn't do this. So I was like, you know what? I am, I need to come off of it. So I did. And you know, it's all the scare of well, when you come off it, you're gonna gain. Well, I had already was gaining, I wasn't losing, so it was just a lose lose all around.
Um, and I didn't have. Like I said, the knowledge and talking and knowing what I knew going into it the second time, because it was so, it was just so new too.
jordana: Yeah. Yeah, that makes, that makes sense. Um, and I think there's a lot of people who've experienced that. I think there's people who obviously have side effects from the drugs that are out there, but then there's also all these compounded versions and there's
nicole: That it was compounded.
jordana: where you can get these meds, um, not through your doctor, not through like the actual pharmaceutical companies that are making them.
And you really don't know [00:10:00] what's in them, are they? Is it actually the dose that it says it is, is it actually the drug that it says it is? Um.
nicole: I needed? And I didn't even talk. I literally messaged with a doctor and or whatever, somebody
jordana: Yeah. Somebody who said they were a
nicole: it shipped to my house. Um, so you know, it, it was not a good experience.
jordana: And now, now you're under the care of an endocrinologist. Yeah.
nicole: Yes.
jordana: So before we kind of like even dive in more to like what it's been like on the Zet bound, I was. I was wondering if you could share almost like a day in the life of Nicole struggling with food, like what that has felt like for you.
nicole: Um, food noise 24 7. I would. Literally wake up, what's for breakfast? Then as you know, I'd go and into my office and start doing work. I'd be like, okay, well what am [00:11:00] I gonna have for for lunch? You know, it was a big, big question and I, you know, the amount of time. That I'd spend like, well, do I wanna order from here?
Like the excitement and time that this would take for me to do that. Then shortly after that, I'd, we'd send a text. My husband would text me or I'd text him, what are we gonna do for dinner tonight? Um, it was constant and in between that I would go have a snack. And towards that, I don't know if you remember that, 3 34 o'clock when I'd be like.
My head up from the nonstop work, I'd be like, oh, okay. And I would then raid the pantry, um, and be like, and I would, if I had some popcorn, but then I needed something sweet, I'd have that, and then I'd feel sick. Um, so. The day was, yes, work, but I was constantly thinking about what's the next thing I'm going to be eating even into the weekend.
You mentioned, you know, family get togethers. We do them all the [00:12:00] time and I don't know, the, the weekends were a whole other ball game and it was like my, my free for all. So. Not only Monday through Friday was I thinking about food nonstop. On the weekend I was indulging and well, I can have this, this is my treat.
Uh, my life was fully around. What's my next meal?
jordana: I remember you talking so much about like during the week, even with that noise, you would try so hard to kind of like rein it in and then by the time you got to the weekend, you were so exhausted from doing that. That it was just, well, I need to reward myself for working so hard, and I also don't have the energy to keep doing that.
Right? So like this double whammy, like rebound effect. Um, and then it's like also it's the social situation of being with your family. And this is what we do to spend time together. And yeah, food is a huge part of get togethers and being with family and all of this. Um, so when you talk about. When you talk about thinking about food, right?
As someone who loves food, you said there was like an excitement of [00:13:00] thinking about it and I was wondering if you could talk a little bit more about like, was it always like excitement? Was there also like negative feelings? Like what was sort of like the nature of the food noise for you?
nicole: I, I, it might go back to when I quote unquote couldn't eat, like when I was on those strict, strict diets. Um, I'm an adult, as we said, I'm 42. It, it's almost like I was like, well, I can do this. Nobody's gonna tell me no. Like, I can eat. And it was an excitement. Well, yeah, I can go have, if I wanted, say, um, a piece of pizza or three, uh, for lunch or dinner, I, nobody's gonna tell me no, you know?
Um, it was almost like. It's 'cause I can, and I do love, I love food and the taste, and it just made me feel good. So if I wasn't happy, maybe in a [00:14:00] certain area or, you know, I, I, as soon as I'd eat it, I'd feel the guilt. Um, because, well now I, you know, I just ate that. Did I really need that? Um. kind of was like a vicious cycle that the food would make me feel good and then I'd get so upset, like, why did I just do that?
Um, so
jordana: like the instant gratification of wanting it and it feeling so good. And then as soon as it's over, it's like, shit.
nicole: Yeah.
jordana: Um,
nicole: And I'd be mad at myself. And then that would cause me to want to eat more because it would make me feel better in that, that instant gratification. Um, and it became a vicious cycle. Like
jordana: trapped.
nicole: stop it. Yeah.
jordana: literally get trapped.
nicole: Yes,
jordana: Um, so what has, so you're on zet bound.
nicole: yes.
jordana: Um, what if you can, if you can recall back to a [00:15:00] little over a year ago, I think right around now. Yeah.
nicole: new 24.
jordana: What was it like when you first started?
nicole: I was so nervous I didn't tell anybody I was, I was even, I was worried to tell you, um, because there was, you know, even a year ago I was one, I feel like an earlier starter on this. I was so scared of the perception like. Am I a failure? 'cause I'm, I'm having medication do this. Um, I, I, I was, I was scared and I previously from trying that compounded whatever it was, um, I didn't wanna get sick.
I was so worried. Um, when I first started, I didn't tell anybody, um, except for my immediate group
jordana: Yep.
nicole: Um, and I remember. Like, 'cause you heard of all the side effects and everything. I was so scared. Is this gonna ha [00:16:00] is this gonna happen again? Um, so, you know, those first few weeks I was very nauseous and we can go through what it did to my brain and my thi thought process.
Um, it was a, it was a adjustment for me because of that past experience. I didn't wanna fail again. Um. 'cause you'd seen these, you know, ozempic and all these things happening, um, where it's working for people. I was so scared it wasn't gonna work for me.
jordana: Yes. Right, because it like every now my, my dog's hearing your dog bark. Um, you had done all these things in the past and they had worked up until a point, until you couldn't sustain it, and then it couldn't work. And it's like, what if this is the same? Right. Because that's all your brain knows.
That's the, that's the lived experience you had had. So you started to kind of mention it. Like what, what did you start to notice in those first, like, few weeks of taking it that, like in terms of how you felt inside in your
nicole: So the first few weeks I remember, [00:17:00] I was very nauseous. I, I couldn't believe that something that ran my day to day, the food noise was literally non-existent. It, it was not there. And I was like. Oh my goodness. Like, I don't care if I eat, I won't eat a snack. I don't even need to eat breakfast. Like, that's where, that's how it made me feel.
I just couldn't believe. I was like, oh my gosh, what a, what a change. This is great. I literally, where I would put a portion on my dinner plate and be like, well, I, I'd make big portions on it. Um, I. Cut that back even because I didn't care. It, it wasn't like I'm missing out. I feel like even I, I, to jump ahead at like events and parties and stuff, I'd wanna get to the food to make sure I got, you know, what I, what I wanted.
jordana: Yeah. Yeah.[00:18:00]
nicole: It didn't even phase me to go. I'd be like, I'll get there and if I, and I'd have a little bit and I'd be fine. Um, it, the mind part of it was, is like such a hu for me, it was such a huge, huge thing. I'd be sitting at my, we'd be sitting at our dining, dining room table eating and I, countless times can remember looking at my plate and being like.
Oh my gosh. I'm not even close to finishing it. I need to finish it a few times. I did. Try to finish it. And these were smaller portions. I would put smaller portions on my plate. I'd finish it and I'd be like, oh my gosh, I, I'm sick. I never got, I have not gotten sick like previously on the other one. Um, but I felt horrible.
And the indigestion and laying down to go to bed. I had countless nights where I was so nauseous. Um, but then I eventually learned it was a learning [00:19:00] process. Like I had to like, almost like train my brain to be like, no, no. Or my, my, the brain part of me that's like, you need to finish what's on your plate.
Um, and like, oh, I want to, I, I physically couldn't, you physically had to stop eating. Um, so that was, that was one of the biggest hurdles
jordana: Yeah.
nicole: because I like to eat and if it tastes good and it tastes good, I'm like, but I want more. But no, I didn't want more. I thought I wanted more, but I, I did not.
jordana: Yeah. So it's like that. I, I, I so appreciate you sharing that because. It immediately turned down the food noise, right? So you're thinking about food less. You are not like obsessing it over in the obsessing over it in the same way. It's not like consuming your thoughts from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep.
And yet still, when food's in front of you, there's still, there was still a desire to eat. More than your body. There was a disconnect between what your [00:20:00] body could tolerate and what your mind wanted, which was the case in all those years prior to that. Right. And that work was still there. You still had to learn that.
I think that's so interesting and so helpful. Again, because I think there's this perception that like you take the shot and it's just like rainbows and unicorns explored from the sky and it's just like.
nicole: A.
jordana: It's a miracle drug. Right. And that's why I would like, part of the reason why I wanted to hear, I mean, I know your experience, but I wanted you to be able to share it so that people really get it, like there's still work to be done.
Um,
nicole: it is not, it was, it's still, I'm still on the journey. It is not an easy road by any means. You know, there are some perks to it from
jordana: Totally. Mm-hmm.
nicole: or starvation diets I like to call it, that I did in the past. Um, I, it sticks in my head so much that on one of my birthdays I was on this quote unquote, starting like, I call it the starvation diet.
It was four or 500 calories a [00:21:00] day. Um. Literally barely eating, and it was my birthday. Now if anybody knows me, they know I love celebrating my birthday. Like I will plan it two months in advance. It it, it was a thing Nicole and her birthday, so it was my birthday or all my friends are there and I was not drinking.
I was getting seltzer waters and I was like, Ooh, I can have an orange today, orange slices. And my friends are like, Nicole. Like you're getting excited 'cause you can have an orange slice, like there's something really wrong with this. Um, and you know, I look back to that versus now I lost 60 pounds with that.
I am at 59 today and I, I am not, I'm eating what I want. Like did I have half a bagel for breakfast this morning? I did and I looked at the other half. I would've polished that off in the past, like, like that. I sat and I looked at it. I'm like, yep, [00:22:00] I'm good. And I went and threw it away. Like I, I, I didn't need it.
And that to me is such like a huge win. 'cause I'm like, I'm living life now. Yes, I was living, but I wasn't happy. I was stressed, starving, not going out with friends because I didn't wanna not drink or I lost out on so many things. I, it's changed. It's changed. My life in many ways.
jordana: It's, it's, it's amazing. Like I just, it's like so cool to be able to. Look at that and say, yeah, I'm, I had this half a bagel, I'm done. I'm good. Like I don't, I don't need this. Right. And it's, it's, it's also taken you like work to be able to do that, right? Like with a year ago it would've been like, I really want the other half of the bagel.
Maybe I'll try it and I'll have it and I'll feel overly full. Right now you've put in so many of those reps, it's so much easier to do that now to say, yep, I'm good. Um Right. 'cause that's what happens. Like you practice a skill and it gets easier and easier to do over time. And now it just [00:23:00] takes up.
Almost no energy at all to make that choice.
nicole: And I will say, um, in the beginning of the shot I was, uh, you know, your body is, this is a big adjustment that it's going through and I. A lot of, I was eating a lot of carbs. Um, 'cause that's the only thing that was appetizing to me. Now, as I've worked on the journey and gone through the process, I said to you, I think the other week I.
I just took my shot yesterday, hence why I wanted a bagel today. Um, but I so many times I'm like, I want protein. And I then use what we had talked about in the be, you know, in, in the beginning when we first started too, that, you know, protein will keep you hungry longer protein, we know protein's really good for us.
And I was then going back to those skills that you. And I talked about and found myself doing it, and I was like, yay, I feel better. I, the weight is coming off [00:24:00] faster. Like just win win-wins all around. So I even went back to those things that I know and 'cause I, I, like I said, I've been, I know you know what you should do, but it's like I'm actually doing it
jordana: You're actually doing it, right? Yeah. Like, that's what it makes. It's like the, the, the meds set you up to be able to practice that stuff, right? In a way that you, that your brain really did not allow you, that your biology did not allow you to do before. And I think like at the very beginning, right, you talked about. Feeling like not wanting people to know and feeling like I had failed or I need help, or why can't I do this on my own? And I think that's one of the number one things out there that people talk about is the fear, the stigma. Like there's, right now I feel like there's this, there's almost like a stigma if you're on it.
And a stigma like if you're, if, if you're not kind of thing, right? People are like, why aren't you? If you're, if you're, if you have obesity, you have overweight, why aren't you on ozempic? And people are like, oh, you're on that. Like, you didn't try hard enough. Right? It's like a fucking no win situation, which is ridiculous.[00:25:00]
nicole: And like, like I said in the beginning, I didn't want anybody to know for those, like I didn't want to be a failure weak. You know, the list goes on now. Someone's like, oh, Nicole, you look great. What are you doing? I'm like, oh, the shot. And I do a little like joke because I, I don't care. I, this has changed my life for the positive.
And you know, one thing I, you know, if you know me because of my history growing up and being a bigger girl, like I, it's the last thing I want my daughter. To go through. So her, the, what this shot has done for me, I don't want to get emotional, but, um, I'm running around with my daughter. She's seeing me be active instead of me getting a hard, having a hard time getting off the couch and out of bed.
Um, so. I am, I will sing through from the roof that I'm on Z Bound. I don't care who knows? [00:26:00] I, I, it still is journey and still is one for me. Um, but it has really done so much for me that I will tell anybody and hence why we're, we're doing
jordana: Yeah. Yeah.
nicole: Um, because I, I will say, um, my friend, um. Had Recomme, you know, told me about you, and it was at one of my birthday parties.
Um, and she said she started working with you. And I was like, you know what, I'm, I'm gonna try, I'm, I'm gonna try everything. Um, and she was like, listen to her podcast. And I was like, well, I don't really listen to podcasts, but okay, so I'm driving home from work and I, I put, uh, your podcast on. And I was listening to it and I was getting emotional 'cause I was like.
I wish that could be me One day, like in my, this journey, this weight loss journey I've been on for, we'll call it 30 something years. I just wish I [00:27:00] could be someone that like told their story and had success. 'cause I have success and then it goes right back, like every single time. And when you asked me, I was so, I was so emotional.
I was like.
jordana: I didn't even know that you had listened to the podcast at any point, so it wasn't like, oh, I know this is Nicole's dream. I'm gonna ask her. I was just like, no. Can you come on and talk about this to help other people? Right. And really
nicole: I, I, you know, and had you asked me in the beginning, I'd be like, uh, no, I don't want anybody to know, but like, because of the work that we've done together, how I, you know, feel 59 pounds almost at 60, the most I've ever lost. Um, I just, I. There's no shame.
jordana: What are some of the, like you just mentioned, like being able to. Run around with your daughter and be active with her, like whenever she wants. What are some of the other kind of [00:28:00] quality of life changes and shifts that you have noticed that you felt that you're, that you're able to do that you've wanted to do?
nicole: Um, I wouldn't. There's a lot of things that I wouldn't do. Uh, one big thing that I'm like really excited to be able to say I can do is I, we grew up skiing, um, and I would, you know, my, my family still ski. Some still ski and friends, and it's like, oh, do you wanna go? And I'm like, oh my God. I literally would Google, can I, what's the weight limit for?
Going on a, uh, uh, airlift, um, how much can weight, can skis hold? And I, because my fear, you know, like fear really stopped me from doing a lot and I, I needed that to stop, especially. Not only for me, but for my daughter to see. So I we're going away in February. I have booked a [00:29:00] lesson, uh, I gotta go get my skis, but I'm like, you know what, if someone, and I'd be so scared, what?
They're gonna look at me and be like, why is she doing that? Like, she's too big for that. That those type of things. I'm like. Yeah, look at me and I'll show you. Look, look what I can do. I might be far as anything, and if I'm one and done, I did it. I did it Remy, I did it for myself. Remy saw me go ski. My mommy skied too.
Um, that is the biggest, that win. I mean even little things of, you know, fear, like going to the beach with the family, like, uh, it was, you know. It, it's a, it's the walk down the thing in the sand and bringing all the stuff. I'd be like, ah, I don't want lazy. I, I wouldn't wanna do it. Now I'm like, are we going to the beach?
Like, let's go to the beach. I'm carrying all the stuff. Like, I, I don't have that fear of someone's gonna look at me and, and judge me. I, I just feel so much better and I in my own skin and [00:30:00] it's changed my mindset of like, let them judge me.
jordana: Let them judge me, right. Let them,
nicole: doing something that makes me feel good that I haven't been able to do
jordana: yeah.
nicole: and I help.
Was holding myself back.
jordana: I think that's such like an interesting perspective flip where previously it would be like, oh my God, someone's gonna look at me on skis and think, what is she, what is that woman doing on skis? And now you're like, yeah, watch me go on skis. Right? Because I think it's, you know, you're, you've lost 60 pounds and also you're, you're still in a bigger body, right?
So. I think that's like helpful reference for people to understand that, right? That Nicole's not sitting here, you know, in a, in a size two or a size four, or like a, a culturally, small, small body, right? This is, I'm speaking totally objectively here, right? So I think that's, I think that's why that, that context is really important when you say that like, yeah, I'm gonna go skiing now.
And it's [00:31:00] like, yeah, fucking watch me go ski now. Um, and. That's like, we spend so much time not doing things for fear of what other people are going to think and how they're going to judge us. And now it's like, you're like, yeah, let me set an example for you actually. Um, and it's like almost like flipping that judgment around, like on its head.
nicole: You know, and I got another one for you. We went away, um, our first like big family trip, um, to the Dominican, to, uh, Copana and Dominican, and there was like a waterpark in part of our hotel and there were these huge, huge slides. I, old Nicole would have ne I'd be like, am I gonna fit in the slide? Like, I don't even wanna, probably would fit in the slide, but my, my, my head, I'm like, I, and I can't even risk being embarrassed.
Uh, I don't want anybody to look, they're gonna look at me [00:32:00] every, they're gonna judge me. Um, I got on that slide, me, rich and Remy, and we went down and I had, I was laughing the whole time and I got to the bottom. I'm like. I never would've done that four months ago. Um, people, uh, another thing with when we go to a restaurant, I would tell my husband, they're looking at me, they're staring at me like my mind, like they may have, and they could have been saying, oh wow.
Look at her beautiful hair. She's a pretty girl. I went straight to, it's about my weight. This is what it is. Um, um.
jordana: The dogs are, the dogs are doing their own podcast.
nicole: I wanna just, let me just get that from him.
Um, so with the, you know, with all those things, I, I, I don't, I don't remember the last time I [00:33:00] said it to my husband like, oh, they're looking at me. 'cause they're, they're judging me. It, it might go to, oh, they like what I'm wearing, or, you know, one of the positive things. So this has changed. Not only how I look and like I, like, I do have a lot more to lose, but I'm confident that I can get there and I'm living a, a good lifestyle getting there,
jordana: Right. You're not, you're now not, you're not waiting until you have gotten to like your quote unquote goal weight, or you have lost all the weight, right? You are living the life that you wanna be living in, the body that you're in right now.
nicole: yes.
jordana: Um, which like, like doesn't fit what society tells us.
Well, this is what you need to look like and this is like, all these things. Um, and I think that's, I think there's a lot around some of these medications and like the like kind of extreme drastic [00:34:00] weight loss. And it's like people go from, you know. Looking one way to looking like such, like a drastically different way and, and looking very much in line with, you know, like being thin, right?
Being small and being thin, and like, truly like being existing in a small body. And that's not what it's about. That's where things start to get, I think murky, very murky with this. Um, and I think that's why your experience is so valuable for so many people because it's. You are living your life along the way.
Um, and I think that's something that is missing for a lot of people who are relying on these drugs to just get them into a teeny, tiny body.
nicole: Yes. I, I, honestly, I don't, I, I think I've said this to you before. I don't think I will ever. Like I said, I'm five 10. I am big bone girl at that Canyon Ranch. They did my muscle mass. I have more muscle than most men. Like I, [00:35:00] I, physically, I would be emaciated and sick if I got to be a teeny tiny somebody.
And I don't want that, and I don't need that. I want to feel good in my body, be able to do the activities that I want to with my family and be a role model for my daughter. Uh, really, you know, um, I, I just want to look and feel good in my clothes. Be healthy.
jordana: Yeah. So speaking of, I would love to talk to you about that, um, in like the body image side of things, right? Like how, what role losing weight has played in how you feel about, you look and how did I say that Right? And how you feel about how you look. Um, yeah, just what, what are your thoughts on that?
nicole: Um.
jordana: Mm-hmm.
nicole: I wake up every morning. I got up today and I like jump out of bed. Like I physically feel great. [00:36:00] I am wearing, you know, I, I do still think I have that mind part mindset that I, I look like even when I goes to like, go online or and order clothes or something, I still go to order the bigger things. Um.
Like when I go in my closet and try on clothes that I wore last year, and I'm like swimming in them, I'm like, oh my God. And like it's a sense of no, Nicole, like you're, you're you. I feel like I sometimes look and I'm like, not, I'm not saying this right.
jordana: It's okay. Do a, do over.
nicole: Ask the question again.
jordana: So when you, what, what role or how, what has been the relationship for you between losing weight? And how you feel about how your body looks.
nicole: Um, I am like, I'm [00:37:00] proud of how I look right now. Yes, there's still areas that I'm not happy with, um, that I want to still continue to work on, but like when I'm getting ready in the morning or at night after I look and I'm like, oh, wow. Like I can see, I can see the change in myself and what really. Makes me realize, like the body image.
I, I just, I don't know what something clicked where I'm like, Nicole, you're doing a great job. Concentrate on how you feel. You know, like, I, I do, and when I put on clothes, I'm like, Ooh, wow, this looks, this looks so much better. Or I can wear this. Um, but like, I feel like a huge thing is, is. That I, I am noticing, you know, this is working, you know, it is, it's a journey still, and I just, I just have to, I'm not doing this question [00:38:00] very
jordana: No, you're, you're, you, you, you totally are. I think what, what I'm hearing is that it's like, it's a both and it's like, yes, losing weight has made it easier to get dressed.
nicole: Yes. Oh yeah.
jordana: I do feel differently in certain clothes, but it's not just that. It's also like, like you said, you're like, I wake up in the morning and I jump out of bed because that's how good I feel in my body, right?
nicole: yeah, even going for walks like I used to, if a friend wanted to get together, they'd be like, oh. We'd go, oh yeah, let's go for lunch or something, or a drink or whatever. And I've said to a few of my friends, I'm like, well, um, instead of that, like, let's go for a walk. Like, because I physically, like, I was at a point where.
I have Achilles tendonitis and walking was painful. Like, and I'm like, it definitely was probably 'cause I was overweight. Um, now, like my whole body just feels better. I'm like, yeah, let's go for a walk.
jordana: Yeah. Yeah.
nicole: I [00:39:00] was running around with a puppy the other day. I, that wouldn't have even crossed my mind.
jordana: Yeah, I think like it's so, it's just as just, we've been talking for the last 40 minutes, right. Organically, you innately keep coming back to how you're feeling in your body. Like Yes. We've talked about, and I've specifically asked you 'cause I'm cur because, because so many people believe that. When I lose weight, I will, like how I look, I will be, it'll be always easier to get dressed.
I will, like, everything I put on, I will, like every photo I take of myself and Right. If you're to watch, if you're listening to this, you don't see Nicole right now, but she's shaking her head. If you're watching on YouTube, you'll see it. Um, right. And like that's, that's just not fucking true. Right? Like, Nicole has lost 60 pounds, which is, I don't even know like what percentage of your body weight it is, but like, it's not.
That's not the thing that makes it all. Okay. And I think the reason you keep coming back to like, I'm going for walks and I'm playing with Remy, and I'm running on the beach and I'm going skiing and I'm doing all [00:40:00] these things, is because that's actually the thing that has changed the most for you.
nicole: It, it's not, you're, you're right, it's not me. With clothes, I, I still struggle. I still have a struggle with that, of finding things that make me. Feel good, and I'm coming to realize after talking and everything that like, let's put that on. I'll get there. You know, let's, let's think about what. Nicole is feeling great about, and it's exactly those things.
You know, when I put on, when I put on my leggings and a shirt and, and I look in the mirror and I'm like, yeah, no, you totally have lost weight, Nicole. Like, that is a reminder, but I, that, that isn't fully come to just yet. It's more of how I feel,
jordana: Yeah.
nicole: which is very, very important.
jordana: Right. But it's like we get so caught up like culturally. Yes. Like especially when the a doctor's like, you need to lose weight. You need to lose weight. Or, you know, [00:41:00] it's, it, it is about how we feel in our bodies, but it's so much driven by the aesthetic piece of it and what you look like at the end of that weight loss.
Um, and I think especially around these medications, there's a, an assumption and a belief that you take them, you lose the weight, and then. You quote unquote, like, look great. Everything fits. You can go and buy whatever you want. You take pictures of yourself, you automatically love how you look. And you and I have had countless conversations around, and there have been times where you have sent me messages and been like, I got in so many more pictures than I would have before.
And I'm so, and I'm, and I'm, I'm doing this. And it feels good. And then there have been so many other times where it's been like, I saw pictures of myself and it, I was like, I haven't lost any. I look, I look the same. I look terrible. I don't know what to do. Right? Like.
nicole: couldn't believe it. I was like, I'm 50, 60 pounds and I, why am I, it's like I thought I looked a different way, but. What, maybe it's just a bad angle, like, uh, bad picture. 'cause then there's countless others that I'm like, Ooh, yay. [00:42:00] Look at, look. Yeah, I definitely lost weight. But it, that has been a mind.
Uh, it has messed a little bit where I'm like, did I, did I lose weight? And then I go and try on one of those outfits that was from last year and I'm like, oh my gosh, yes I did. So, you know, that's still a learning, uh, thing I'm working on and reality.
jordana: yeah. Our brains like to tell us a lot of stories and a lot of stories that are not true. And it takes work to like fact check it, um, and to like really ground
nicole: Fact. And when I try on that other outfit and I'm like, oh yeah.
jordana: There you go. That's your fact tracking. Um, is there anything else that you feel like you would wanna share? Like for someone out there who is thinking about a medication or has been on one and has struggled, or I don't know, just anything that, that you would like to put out into the universe for [00:43:00] people?
nicole: Um, like I said, I've, I've been on every single, almost every single diet way of eating, lifestyle, everything. Um. If you're questioning, oh, should I, or should I not do this? Like, you know, am I weak? Is this me giving, not giving up, but being weak and caving in? Do it because you could be like me and in a year from now.
Be in a totally different mental space, different sizes, weight, class, um, whatever. It just take, take the leap of faith because it has drastically changed my life and my, the people around me life. I'm happier Nicole. Um, and. My health, like, you know, yes, looking and all these things, but when it comes down to it, health is such an important thing and I want to be [00:44:00] here for my family, specifically, my daughter, for so long.
I would take, if, even if people did judge, I would take that all again and do. Uh, in no hesitation to take set bound because it's changed my life. It really, really has. So take that leap of faith. Try it. Uh, you know, it will be a journey, but it's a good one, and you're happy in the end. Yeah.
jordana: Good. Thank you so much for being, sharing so much and being so candid and. Just being you 'cause you're the
nicole: Thank you. Aw, thank you. You're the best.