episode 248: can you make up for a “bad” lunch with a “good” dinner?

If I overeat chips at lunch, is it okay to skip the carb at dinner to “make up for it”?

That’s the question one woman asked me at a recent workshop — and it’s one of my all-time favorite topics to talk about because we’ve all been there.

I used to live in that “checks and balances” mindset with food. The constant math in my head, the promises to “be good later,” the bargaining with myself to undo whatever I just ate. It felt logical, but it ultimately made eating way more stressful — and it kept me stuck in a cycle of guilt, restriction, and rebound eating.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

• Why “making up for it later” always backfires

• The sneaky difference between skipping something out of self-care vs. punishment

• How to handle overeating without spiraling into “fuck it” mode

• My favorite analogy that will give you a light bulb moment

If you ever find yourself trying to “even things out” with food, this one’s for you.

Grab my free Food Behavior Blueprint mini course that I mention in the episode — it’ll help you figure out what’s actually driving your eating patterns so you can stop playing "let's make a deal" with your meals.

Or book a consult if you know you’re ready to make a big change in your life.

• transcript

  248

  [00:00:00] Hello friends. Welcome back, episode 2 49 of The Diet Diaries. Oh, we're coming up on a little bit of a milestone with two 50. I didn't even realize it also coming up on five years, which is crazy. Um, I actually feel really proud of that. Um, I can't believe it's been five years and there are obviously so many podcasts out there, but there's also so many podcasts that people start and do not, um, stick with or do not publish consistently.

  And I have published a new episode of this podcast. Okay. Almost every Monday for the last five years, I have skipped, um, probably five to seven Mondays over the course of the five years for holidays and vacations and whatnot. Um, maybe it's closer to 10, but Okay. Anyway, super proud of this thing. Um, it's no end in sight, so thank you for being here and listening.

  Um, alright. I have something fun to talk about today. So I, this is gonna air on Monday, uh, October 20th, I did a [00:01:00] workshop at a local public library, um, about like a week and a half prior to when this airs. It was so much fun. Oh my God, you guys like doing stuff in person. Sometimes it's hard to get yourself outta the house, but once you're there it's great.

  And sometimes I forget how much I love that and how much I miss it. So, um. I, there were six or seven women there, and they were all really engaged in asking great questions. And so we had so many awesome conversations. And I have notes for everything we talked about and we'll share it in content over the coming like weeks and months.

  And I wanted to talk about today one of the questions that I got because it's like one of my favorite things to talk about, and it's something that you will hear this question and it'll be like, oh yeah, I know exactly what she's talking about. So what she asked me. Was if I overeat something at lunch, if I overeat chips or I overeat fries at lunch, is it okay to just skip the carb at dinner to make up for it?

  And I just wanna like pause for the moment for everyone to be like, [00:02:00] yeah, I've been there. Yeah, I have done that. Yes, I have used that as a strategy. Um, and so my, my response back to her was actually a question, maybe a little bit annoying, and it was, well, how does that work for you? Because that's always the first thing I wanna know, right?

  With all of my one-to-one clients. It's always about what are you currently doing and how is it working and how is it not working for you? And that is always our starting point. And she was like, well, you know, sometimes it works, right? I overeat, I overdo it at lunch, and I just tell myself, okay, I'm not, I'm going to eat less or I'm gonna skip the carb at dinner and it works.

  She's like, but then what happens is it becomes a game of like, let's make a deal, right? Where it food becomes like a commodity and it's constantly like a checks and balances thing with numbers. She's like, and it starts to get really messy and really hard and really stressful, and I'm like. Okay, I totally hear you.

  And that sounds about right. That's pretty much everyone's universal experience with [00:03:00] this. And she was, um, I think maybe currently in Weight Watchers, um, almost every person that I've ever talked to or worked with has done Weight Watchers at some point. And so everyone is very familiar with the point system and she was talking about how.

  That there was a woman in her Weight Watchers group years ago who would like bank up all of her points like undereat during the week to save them up for the weekend or like transfer points between days and as a long-term strategy for feeding yourself and knowing what to eat and knowing how you feel that does not work.

  Um, it just, it's just a, a recipe for a disaster. And the thing is like if it worked. You wouldn't have to like keep going back to that, but kind of a separate thing. So, okay, so let's talk about this because. It is kind of this idea like if you're making up for eating too many chips at lunch by skipping the carb at dinner, the amount of carbs you will end up eating after dinner [00:04:00] is gonna make that lunch situation look like child's play.

  And I think we all know this, right? Because I think we know that when we restrict something or skip something as a, as a, to kind of balance out as checks and balances. As basically a form of punishment, which is what that is, right? If you overeat at lunch and then you skip a carb at dinner, 97% of the time, that's coming from a place of punishment.

  I think there's a few folks out there who will do that for other reasons, um, because they know their body got more food than maybe it already needed for that day or they just feel really full and don't want that extra food. But the vast majority of it, of us are coming at it from a place of punishment, from a place of making up, um, and from a place of like evening out.

  And that's a very different reason. That's very different than coming at it [00:05:00] from like a, well, you know what? I already know if my body got more food than it needed today, so I'm just gonna scale back a little bit and then tomorrow, you know, I'm going to kind of pay attention and make sure that I'm putting stuff on my plate that's gonna help fill me up so that this is less likely to happen.

  So, and here's the thing, like it makes sense. It makes sense that we would approach things like this because if we are thinking of food in terms of points or calories, or even macros, there's math, there's numbers, and it's easy to make sense of numbers, right? 80 plus 80 is 160, you know, 20 plus 30 is 50.

  And so if I eat X amount of calories. At lunch, then I have X amount of calories left over at dinner. And if I eat too many at lunch, then I can just subtract from dinner and my net overall, um, total for the day will be the same, right? There's a logicalness to that. That makes sense. And so it becomes really easy to kind of play, let's make a deal, right?

  So here's what happens, right? So you overdo it at lunch and you're like, okay, I'm just gonna scale way back at dinner, and I'm just gonna have [00:06:00] like the protein and the veggies at dinner, and then you finish dinner and you're like. Ugh. Like, I'm not quite full or I'm not really satisfied, or something was missing.

  I'm just gonna grab a piece of chocolate and you eat the piece of chocolate and then you're like, oh, I'm just gonna have one more. So if I have one more now, then I'll like skip, I'll skip something at breakfast. I'll, I'll, I'll skip the granola on my yogurt at breakfast. Okay, cool. And it's like, okay, well now I want another one.

  So then I grab another piece of chocolate and it's like, okay, well I'll just, I'll, I won't eat the almonds on my yogurt now. And then it's another one and it's another one, and it's a constant, I'm gonna add something now. And so how do I make up for it later on? Until you get to the point where you're like four or five pieces of chocolate in and you're like, fuck it, I'll just skip breakfast and lunch entirely tomorrow and I'll just have dinner.

  And then you start getting caught in this cycle where it's like. It's constant. Let's make a deal. It's constant catch up. And so I know that if you are listening to this podcast episode, this has happened to you at some point and probably at many, many points. Like this was like literally my way of life for [00:07:00] years, and I think it was the way of life of many of you who are listening as well.

  And it's, it begets really stressful and it gets really exhausting to constantly be playing this game with yourself and to constantly feel like you have to catch up, you have to fix something, you have to make up for something. Um, it makes eating stressful and miserable. And just a, I mean, if we talk about food noise, like if you're someone who struggles with food noise, this is playing a huge role in food noise, right?

  Is approaching eating from this way. So what, how, how do we not do this? Right? What's the alternative? If I do overeat at lunch, what do I do about the carbs at dinner? Right? So this is where we want to. Look at two things. We want to one, look at this from a place of, well, how do I prevent that situation from happening in the first place, instead of just constantly trying to like fix it or put a bandaid on it.

  But then also when that situation does happen, because that's realistic. And no matter [00:08:00] how, no matter how much work you do around food, you're still gonna overeat at times, right? You're a human, that's normal. How do I handle the next meal, right? How do I work through that? And so. The number one thing I'm gonna tell you is that figuring out your way of eating that is made by you and for you is what is going to address this whole situation once and for all.

  Because the reason that you're overeating at lunch means that there's something going on. That is not working around how you're eating, right? So it could be around nutrition. It could be that you're not having enough protein or enough fiber or enough veggies, or maybe not enough carbs at breakfast. And so then at lunch or at dinner, and I just use the fries at lunch and overeating at dinner as an example.

  But this could really play out in any sort of order. If there's something going on with your nutrition that's lacking in terms of either the amount of [00:09:00] nutrition or the amount of the quote unquote, right. Nutrition, meaning the nutrition that's going to fill you up. Yeah. You're gonna be primed to overeat stuff, right?

  There's part of this around like the good, bad labeling of foods where when we go in saying, oh, I'm not gonna have this because it's bad, or whenever this is, whenever this is around, I always overdo it when we go in with those thoughts. Around food as a way to try and control what we're eating. It tends to backfire and it tends to get very, very tiring because we're relying on willpower to push through that, and that breaks down very, very quickly, right?

  So that good, bad mindset, um, there's this situation, right? If you are eating at home alone versus out to lunch with friends versus having dinner with your kid, like in the car on the way to a soccer game, all of these different situations are gonna play a role in what you're eating and in how much you're eating.

  And then there's this idea of like, last chance eating, right? And [00:10:00] again, like this, this is something that is so prominent and feels like a way to reign ourselves in, but actually is the thing that kind of unleashes like the shit storm. Um, where it's like, okay, well tomorrow I'm eating clean, so I have to get it all in today.

  This is like my only chance to have this, or this is my last chance to have this. 'cause tomorrow I have to be good. You know, typically the things that we overeat, you're not overeating roasted broccoli, you're not overeating chicken thighs, you're not overeating apples, you're not overeating, um, you know, a big salad.

  You're not overeating roasted squash, right? You're overeating chips, you're overeating fries, potatoes, pasta, and then obviously all of the sweets. Um, so. The things that we are overeating are the things that we feel afraid of, and those are the things that we're gonna say, well, this is like my last chance to have this, so I've gotta get it all in now.

  And then you're just gonna be primed to [00:11:00] overeat it because you know that it's your last chance. Okay, so what again, what are we doing about this? Creating your own way of eating that is made by you and for you, and looking at that through the lens of what am I already doing? What am I doing right now?

  What's my baseline? What's working, what's not working, and then really getting clear on what are the, the, the top three things that are not going well. Am I constantly overeating something at lunch? Am I constantly ki skipping meals? Am I constantly, um. Uh, you know, eating a ton of snacks after dinner, whatever it is, and then looking at, well, what is the cause of that?

  Um, and this is actually something that I'm working on building out a self-guided course for. Um, in the meantime, this is actually something that you can do with the freebie that I have, food Behavior Blueprint, um, and I'll put a link to that in the show notes. Um, because that's really gonna help you start to uncover what you're currently doing and what's working well about it and what's not working [00:12:00] well about it.

  Um, so it's like if you're constantly overeating something and then trying to make up for it at the next meal or at the next day or at the next week, right? That we can scale this in many different ways. What we've got to do is look at why is that happening in the first place versus looking at how do I make up for it or fix it, quote unquote, after the fact and.

  Really identifying, again, coming back to what am I currently doing, right? I had a one-to-one client who struggled a lot with like quote unquote, like fuck it mode, right? Where like one thing would kind of go wrong and it was just like a spiral into like, I'm gonna eat this, I'm eat this, I'm eat this, I'm gonna eat this.

  And then the next day it'd be like, okay, shit, I've gotta do something about that now. So today I've gotta be like really rigid. I've gotta be on point today. And then there's so much pressure to be on point and then. We have one thing that is out of, you know, out of sync with what I'm supposed to [00:13:00] be doing.

  And again, it feels like the flood gates have opened. It feels like we've fucked up. It feels like we've blown the whole thing, so might as well just blow it completely and then again, start tomorrow. And what we identified was that she wasn't eating big enough meals. And so she was kind of constantly hungry and kind of constantly unsatisfied and looking for things, and it was like a huge game changer for her.

  Um, this was something she'd been dealing with for many, many years. And this is what we uncovered in, in our time together, like within one-on-one coaching. So. Again, like we could have like slapped a solution on that, which is, that's what she tried to do for so long. But it wasn't until we really started to look at, well, what are you currently doing?

  What's working, what's not working? We started to kind of connect the dots. So that's why I really, really keep talking about this so much. And if you've been following, if you follow me on social media, I've been talking about this a lot on there too, is this idea of what are you currently doing? And again, I sound like a broken record.

  What's working about it? What's not working about it? [00:14:00] And then starting to look at that versus starting to look at like the, the outcome of the problem or just like the symptoms of like, you know, I feel like shit, I feel guilty. I overate, I had six slices of pizza and I feel disgusting, or whatever it is.

  Like, and then trying to fix that by just changing your behavior the next day. It seems logical. It seems like that would make sense and I totally get it. And also it's not, there's like a disconnect between that and why you're actually doing that thing in the first place. Um, I'm looking over here at some of my notes.

  So again, like this is so much about noticing the patterns. That you tend to fall into when you do something around food that you don't like, that doesn't feel good, and the way that you jump into fix it about how am I going to fix this? And it's a normal reaction because we are feeling so uncomfortable.

  We [00:15:00] need to get out of that discomfort. And so we have to put some type of a plan into place to do that. That is a normal human reaction. To want to relieve ourselves of that discomfort. And I talked earlier about preempting this from happening to begin with, which is kind of what I talked about with looking at what you're doing and what's working, what's not working.

  But then I also talked about, well, we also need to be able to deal with the discomfort of when this does happen, right? Because even after you've gone through the process of creating your own way of eating. And it's, it's working and things are going well and like all like the, the puzzle pieces are like finally snapping into place and you're like, holy shit, there's still gonna be times when you overeat.

  Well, how do you deal with that? Right. And it's being able to notice the feelings that come up when you eat in a way that doesn't feel good, that essentially is basically out of alignment. Actually, I'm pausing 'cause like that's not always true. 'cause sometimes we can overeat by choice. But I'm gonna talk about this in the context of.

  Not overeating by choice. And by [00:16:00] that I mean eating in a way that kind of feels outta control or a situational, or where there's like lingering thoughts around last chance mindset or good or bad. Um, because certainly there's situations where there's like a special food that's never around and we choose to eat more than we normally would, and we choose to kind of get a little bit more full because it feels really special and we're doing in a very mindful, purposeful way.

  I'm not really talking about that. That is actually a thing though, in case that's new information for you. Um, I'm talking about when even once we have shit figured out and things are good, there's gonna be times when we overeat again because like, just like there's. Times when we like lose our shit at our kids or make a mistake at work.

  Like we're, we're not perfect. We don't need to be. How do we navigate that? Right? It's noticing what's my instinct, what is my gut reaction? It's probably still gonna be to go into some type of fix it mode, to restrict, to make up, to count calories, to be clean, to be good, whatever the language is that is like your language.

  Um, and to notice that and to say, okay, hold on a second. [00:17:00] It's okay. I had a shit ton of chips at lunch. I ate way more than I planned to, and I feel really shitty now. This all makes sense. It's okay, I get it. What's going to happen if I cut out the carb dinner? What's that going to do for me? And really kind of playing that out and then making a choice, like, is that going to be helpful for me, or is that going to be unhelpful for me?

  Is that going to potentially set me up to then end up wanting more food later on? If so, I've gotta ride this out. I'm gonna still have a carb at dinner. It might feel uncomfortable to do that, and I'm gonna keep going with my usual meals as planned. It could also look like, you know what? I am actually so full from lunch that I actually do need to eat less food at dinner.

  But being really clear about why you're doing that, right, knowing that you're doing that, um, from a self-care standpoint of. Not wanting to like feel any more stuff or overeat or eat more than you kind of already have in terms of how you [00:18:00] feel, not from, I have to make up for this. I have to reduce my intake.

  Right? Those are two, those, it looks the same on the outside, but there are two very different reasons for why you're doing that thing on the inside and you need to be clear and radically honest about that with yourself. But essentially being able to like. Tolerate the discomfort of having eaten in a way that doesn't feel good physically, mentally, that's out of alignment with your values.

  Noticing your brain's gut reaction to want to fix it, to want to make it better, to want to do something about it, and to say, okay, I get why that's there. I know that that's there. I also know what has happened every time I've done that before, and what's gonna happen in the long run. So what is the next thing that I can do?

  That is going to feel good, right? Maybe it's saying, let me see how I feel at dinner, right? Let me see how I feel four or five, six hours from now. What do I want to eat? What am I hungry for? Instead of making the decision right now, okay, I'm not having any carbs at dinner, or I'm not having any carbs tomorrow.

  Right? Checking in, paying attention what's actually happening in the moment and [00:19:00] making a decision based off that, versus like setting this rule to kind of like, okay, fix this. Put a bandaid on it. That's all. That's all you know. Taken care of. I've wiped up that mess. Um, and these, like, this type of attention and presence and being willing, being willing to kind of sit in some suckiness, right?

  This is, this is a lot of what we work on in coaching and this is what really starts to create like these, these lasting changes. Um. Because the, the band-aids, like the, the fixed stuff feels logical in the moment again. Like I get it and I've done it. And it's also the thing that's, that's unfortunately keeping you stuck.

  Like, I wish it was, I wish it was easier. I wish it wasn't that way, but you playing, let's make a deal with yourself every day to get through the [00:20:00] day with food. It is fucking exhausting. Like think about how much mental energy that is taking up and the constant stress of that. Right? And if you are someone who suffers from food noise, I bet you are.

  Like, that's a big part of where it's coming from. Um, so I hope this was helpful. I'm looking over to see if there's anything, oh, that mouse doesn't work right now that I wanted to talk about today. Um. I think the last thing I wanted to mention is, I love this analogy, right? When we restrict food again, it feels like a fix.

  It feels like control. It feels like doing something. It feels effective. Food restriction is, um, aggressive. It's, it's harsh. It is, uh, very strict. And it kind of, we behave or we respond to food restriction the [00:21:00] way a rubber ball behaves when you bounce it, right? If you take a rubber ball and you drop it, it maybe bounces up a little bit.

  If you take a rubber ball and you really throw it onto the ground, it's gonna bounce up really high, right? The harder you throw it, the higher it's gonna fly back up. Food restriction is the same way. The more that you push something on yourself aggressively and harshly, the harder that your brain and your body are gonna push back on that thing, right?

  With the bouncing balls, the loss of physics, with, with the food restriction and the eating, it's biology and psychology at work, um, there's a million analogies that you can make around this, but forcing something on yourself. In a punitive way is going to have a, uh, is going to like magnify the reaction even tenfold.

  Um, right. [00:22:00] If you think of, think about when you have used food restriction as a way to deal with a situation, what has been the outcome of that? Over time the outcome, I would bet money has been that you have bounced back, that that behavior has bounced back stronger and louder and harder and faster and more intense over time, and that you keep getting stuck in that cycle.

  And so pushing harder and doing more. Is not going to relieve that. It's actually being softer, being gentler, and doing things in a different way, right? And so this idea of, well, how can I preempt the situation to begin with? How can I look at what I'm doing and what's working, what's not working? And start from there.

  Um, and again, like if you want some support and structure with that, check out the food Behavior blueprint. That's what it is. And I'm actually. Designing that into a much more robust self-guided course for early next year. It's really fucking cool. I've done a lot of work on it. I've never seen anything out there like this.

  Um, so you can kind [00:23:00] of like bookmark that in your brain for some time in Q1 of 2026. But in the meantime, food behavior blueprint's, kind of like a mini version of that, a quicker down and dirty version of that, um, that I think will really reveal some information to you that. Is going to give you another way into dealing with this stuff.

  So that's what I got for you guys today. Thank you for being here and, um, more soon.