episode 206: what joey (my dog) can teach us about changing our behavior around food
Hey, everyone! Today’s episode is a little different…it’s about my dog, Joey, and what it was like to pick her up after 4 weeks of obedience training. Think there’s a connection to food here? You bet there is.
I’m sharing the surprising parallels learning how to implement her obedience training has to learning new habits and skills, especially around food.
Here’s a peek at what we cover:
What it feels like to be a beginner again—the overwhelm, the frustration, and the reality of learning something brand new.
Why practice matters more than perfection, and how “real life” application always looks messier than the ideal scenarios.
How to go slow and break things down, focusing on what’s most relevant instead of trying to do it all at once.
The truth about progress: it’s not linear, and even when things don’t go perfectly, you’re still learning.
My favorite analogy for behavior change and why it takes longer than we want it to
Why keeping going is more important than getting it right
Whether you’re working on leash training your dog (hi, Joey!) or trying to build a new habit around food or exercise, I think you’ll love this episode! this episode is packed with insights, real-life examples, and a little humor to help you navigate the ups and downs of the process.
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206
[00:00:00] Hey everyone. I'm doing something a little crazy today and I'm recording this episode with Joey in the room. I don't know why I'm deciding to do this. I happen to be recording an episode about her. Um, but I was like, I'm just going to try this and we are going to see how it goes. If anything, it'll help keep this episode nice and brief.
So I actually wanted to talk today about Joey did four weeks of obedience training. She was gone for four weeks with a And she came back, as I'm recording this, she's been back for almost a week by the time you listen to it, it'll be a couple of weeks. And I wanted to talk about a little bit what it was like to kind of pick her up and bring her home and take her, start to use the training the first couple of, like, the week or so that she's been back.
Because there were so many parallels in my head. to, like, the skills that we learn about food and how we implement them, and the internal dialogue we have with ourselves about this stuff, especially when it's new, right? So when we picked her up on the first day, [00:01:00] um, the trainer, whose name is Tyler, he's amazing.
Um, he's located in Pennington, New Jersey, if anyone is looking for, um, training for their dog. He taught us, like, all the stuff he taught her, and he was very strategic about how he communicated it to us. He broke it up into different lessons, and he really kind of, like, kept it simple. It was still, no, there we go.
It was still super overwhelming to me. And at certain points, I was like, Oh my God, I think I'm going to cry. This is so much information. We had been in such a good routine with her before she went. And now this was kind of like not blowing that up, but putting in all of these new skills and practices that I had to learn, right?
She already knew them. I had to learn how to use this stuff. And it was a lot of new information and it reminded me so much of what it's like to be a beginner at something and to not know anything. And Tyler, the trainer, he's like, said to me, he's like, I often have to remind myself that like this stuff is second nature to me.
It's like, It's automatic. It's super easy. It all makes sense in his brain. He's like, but when I'm teaching this [00:02:00] stuff to people, I have to remind myself that it is brand new to them and it may not make sense, even though it makes sense to me. So like as a coach, it was such a great reminder to maintain like what I, you know, you talk about in yoga or people talk about yoga as like the beginner's mind to not take for granted what you know, to not rush through things, to stay curious, to give yourself grace, to have patience, and to go slow.
Um, and it's like when I talk with people about protein, and some people will really struggle understanding what foods are efficient proteins, what foods are not, how much do I need, and how to do that. And it feels really overwhelming at first for a lot of people, which is totally normal. And it's not that I forget that.
I don't forget that. It was just that this was like such a good reminder to experience that physically in my brain and in my body, right? There were a lot of physical sensations, like the tears, that is a physical manifestation of that overwhelm, that's what happens to me, came up and it was like, yes, I'm so glad I'm experiencing this because this is a feeling that people go through when they're trying to learn a [00:03:00] new skill around food.
And it reminded me, again, not that I've forgotten this, but it was just such a good reminder of how important it is to break things down into very small steps. and how the value of practice. And so we came home and immediately, immediately, as soon as we got home, we started practicing the skills that we had learned, right?
Joey's already learned these skills. Now it's like I have to learn them how to, and all three of us have to learn how to implement them with her. And we started practicing. And what was so interesting, she's laying down on the treadmill right now, what was so interesting is as soon as we started implementing them in our environment, because when we went to pick her up, we learned and practiced at the, at Tyler's place.
So we did a lot of practice there, but practicing kind of in that very sort of like idealized environment where she's done all her training and it's designed for dog training. Versus practicing in the context of your life is very different, right? This is kind of like, oh, someone can give you like a food list and it looks all great and then you have to figure out how to [00:04:00] implement that at like seven o'clock on a Monday morning when your kid's homesick and you've got a work deadline and it's like a whole other ballgame.
So we started practicing as soon as we got home and as soon as we started doing that, right? I started to feel better because it was like, okay, now I'm figuring out how this works in our house a little bit with our life. And now we're almost a week into it. So there's been lots of different situations to practice this and try it.
And that's what starts to really make it sink in, right? Reading something, listening to something, watching something is all good. But until you do it in practice. in your life, in your way, in your body, it really doesn't click. And so I think that that is, that's why so much of like, when we just follow something that we see someone else is doing, we have to adapt it.
We have to practice it. We have to do it in a way that makes sense for us in our own lives, in our own environments. Um, and what was so interesting is like, right, when Tyler was having her do stuff, 95 [00:05:00] percent of the time, she's doing it perfect, right? When we were there and doing stuff, definitely not, but pretty good.
And then we get home and some things, not some things she wasn't listening at all, but like over the course of the week, there've been some days that have gone really well. And some days where she's like not listened, not, not at all, but it's been, it's taken a lot more work to get her to do the thing that I wanted her to do.
And again, it was such a reminder that like, this is going to sound like really bad, but I don't know. People say this to me all the time. Oh, this sounds so dumb. And I'm like, it doesn't sound dumb at all. And then here I am, you know, I'm like kind of caveating this. She's a dog. She's a living, breathing thing with ears.
Emotions and feelings and moods, and is impacted by different things in her environment, just like a human. So it makes sense to me that she might behave differently based on the time of day, based on what situation she's in, and that she's not going to be perfect, right? She's not a robot, and I never expected her to be.
But there's also this weird thing where it's like, oh, she went for obedience training, she should [00:06:00] just know all this stuff. And she does know it, but it's like, I have to know it and how to do it and how to relate and kind of connect with her. And that's like a two way kind of like dynamic that takes a lot of practice.
But it's this tendency, and we do this with ourselves, and this is why I'm talking about this, where like, we learn a skill and we say, okay, I'm going to work on having protein like three meals a day. It goes well for like a day or two and then suddenly something comes up and it's like the shit hits the fan and is not going well and I don't know what to do and I forgot or I didn't get enough and it just, it doesn't feel like it goes well.
And then we start beating ourselves up. And it's like, you know what, that's actually normal. That's what's going to happen. Right? So it's like when things aren't a couple times or whatever, where things haven't gone well with her and I've gotten frustrated. I've noticed myself getting frustrated and like starting to get like all jacked up about it and I'm like, okay, hold on Jordana This is normal.
She's not always gonna respond exactly the way that you want her to respond This is gonna take time and even years from now There's gonna be times where she is not [00:07:00] going to respond because she's an animal right? She's a robot. She's not a robot Just like we are not robots So it's like when you're working on a skill and you notice the pressure that you put on yourself to be perfect, to do the thing all the time.
It's like, hold on a second. Is that realistic? Is that really how humans operate? And the answer is no. So again, this was just for me personally such a good experience and such a good parallel. I just thought I would share it. It may or may not resonate with you. If you have a dog, I think it will. And even if you don't have a pet, I'm hopeful that it will.
Um, You know, there's just so much variability to humans and to dogs. Moods, the situation, right? Like, the environment, so many things impact how we feel and our ability and our capacity to be. to take action on whatever it is we want to take action on. And we have to notice that. And that's not to say like, oh, we let ourselves off the hook as soon as it gets hard.
No. But knowing that sometimes it might take more time, energy, and attention to get the thing that [00:08:00] we need to do, right? Certain situations with her, I might have to be a lot more disciplined and follow up and be a lot more on top of whatever she's doing to get her to do something. Whereas in a more easy, relaxed situation, maybe she's like really tired.
She's going to do what I'm asking her to do and she's going to stay there a lot, a lot more easily. And again, that is true for us. So again, this was like a personal experience that, that resonated for me internally, but I'm hoping that maybe some of the analogies also kind of make sense and resonate for you.
Um, And it's funny because I was going to record this early in the week, but then I had already had another episode planned, which was last week's episode around food pushing. And I really wanted to have that out before Thanksgiving, but I'm glad that I waited because now it's been like close to a week that she's been home.
And so there's been like some ups and downs and some different experiences, which has been really helpful, you know, kind of from my learning. I feel like I'm talking super fast because I'm watching her over here and I'm like, how much time do I have? I didn't bring up a toy. I didn't like give her a command up here.
I was like, And this is actually her first [00:09:00] time upstairs in the house. We got her in August. It's been three months. She's not come upstairs. So I let her come upstairs with me. I have the door closed and she's laying on the treadmill. For my YouTube friends who are watching, I'm going to turn the camera so you can see her laying on the treadmill.
And if you're listening, sorry, we don't get to see her. You can go check out YouTube. Um, so I think that's really what I wanted to share is really, I think, actually, I think there's one more piece that I didn't capture because I'm looking at my notes, which I'll, I'll get to. I'll, I'll kind of share very quickly.
And that is the importance and significance of breaking things down and going slowly and not trying to do all the things at once. Right? There were things that Tyler taught us that she learned that I have not really even touched. Like one, like she learned fetch. Like, some dogs you have to teach fetch, like, I'll throw the ball, she'll go get it, but she won't bring it back.
She'll go, like, run it over somewhere else and just sit there and chew it. She had learned fetch. We tried it at home. It didn't work at all. And I'm like, you know what? This actually doesn't matter right now. I don't need this. Um, [00:10:00] you know, we have not taken her out in the backyard off leash and worked on that because I'm, like, not ready to do that.
We've been working on the things that are most relevant and most helpful for our life, which is the leash walking. and some basic commands around the house and getting her to go and stay in places that I want her to go and stay if I have to open the front door or open the oven or do things like that where I don't want her to be in the way to protect her.
Um, and so that's what I focused on. And it's so important, like, to really acknowledge what's going to be relevant for you. and to do it, do little bits at a time. Don't try to do everything at once, right? This has been such a good reminder. One, because your brain can't necessarily even have the capacity or doesn't have the capacity for all that information.
And two, because we just need time to practice things. And if you're trying to practice too many new things at once, you're really not going to develop proficiency in any of them because it's you're spreading too much information. Time, energy, and attention. You guys know I talk about this on repeat because it's such an important foundational concept.
You're [00:11:00] spreading it too thin. Your pie pieces are getting cut into little teeny tiny pieces, and it's not enough. We need bigger pie pieces of time, energy, and attention when we are trying to learn skills that are unfamiliar and new because it just takes a lot more time. Effort just takes a lot more to learn stuff that's new.
There's no, there's no carved path in our brains. I made this analogy to a client yesterday and she's like, wow, that really resonates. So I'll share it here and then I'm gonna wrap up, which is that you can think of kind of your Thoughts and behaviors around food, exercise, body image, as a river that has carved a very deep groove into the ground, right?
Think about how powerful water is. And a river that's been flowing for hundreds and hundreds or maybe even thousands of years has carved a very deep kind of bed into the ground. And so the water flows that way and it just goes automatically, right? That is how our kind of thoughts and feelings and behaviors around food are.
It just happens automatically. It's autopilot and it's very [00:12:00] deeply conditioned. When we're trying to make a change and shift some of our behaviors around food and notice the thoughts and feelings we have around those things, it is like trying to redirect that water and carve out a new place in the ground.
It's like trying to carve a new riverbed, and it takes time. And so not only does it take time to start to get the water flowing in a different direction, then it takes time for that water to carve that new groove. Then it takes time for that new groove to get even remotely as deep as the old groove, right?
The old groove doesn't go away, right? That old stuff, those old thoughts, those old behaviors. doesn't go away. We start to re pattern with new ones, and the more we do that, the more time, the more practice, the deeper that new groove gets. And then slowly over time, that starts to become the new autopilot, the new automatic.
But that's like a little bit tangentially related to what I was talking about. I feel like I could do an entire episode about that, but I'm hoping that analogy maybe resonates with you. Um, [00:13:00] just in terms of like how long it You know, things take and that, um, it's just, it's a slow process. And overloading yourself and like trying to like throw it, like redirect all the water, it's gonna like, it'll just, it's like, it's like drinking from a fire hose kind of thing, right?
It's like the dam opens and the water rushes out and it just, it just, it's not gonna create a new groove. It's gonna like spread out far and wide and not change anything. So anyway, I think that that's what I wanted to share. And, oh, now she's lying on her side. She's actually falling asleep. She's such a good girl.
Um, okay. That's it. I will be back, of course, next week. Thanks for being here.