episode 204: why you aren’t making progress

Nov 18

In this episode, I’m talking about one of my favorite concepts: the often overlooked value of small, consistent actions—and how this connects back to your struggle with the all or nothing mindset around food.

We’ll dive into why consistently doing the smallest possible thing can have a much bigger impact than trying to do the giant changes with quick, dramatic results.

Here’s a sneak peek at what’s inside this episode:

My favorite analogy to show why even a 0.01% effort counts—and why doing nothing just keeps you stuck.
How to swap the “Why bother?” mindset for “What’s one small thing I can do right now?”
Real-life examples to help you make small, manageable changes around food, movement, and even self-talk.
Why trying to change everything at once usually backfires—and how to pick one simple thing to focus on.

If you’re tired of feeling like you have to do it all to see results, this episode is for you. Let’s break down those big, overwhelming goals and find small, doable steps that actually add up.

And it’s not too late to join Photo Freedom! My holiday gift to you: stop obsessing over how you look in photos and letting a “bad” picture send you into an emotional spiral. Click here.

204
[00:00:00] Good morning, friends. I don't know when you're listening to this, but I'm recording it in the morning. Um, thanks for being here. I've also forgotten what episode this is in the early 200s. Um, I was just away for a long weekend in upstate New York. Um, and it was really nice. We rented a house in Carhunkson, which is about two hours north of where we are, not far from New Paltz.
So just kind of south of the Catskills. Um, we really just like, didn't do a lot. One of my, I realized over the last few years that To me, what makes real downtime and rest and kind of like a vacation is not having a schedule. It's not having to run around and be a certain place at a certain time and have to get like a list of things done.
And so we really didn't plan a lot. Like we did some stuff, we went on a hike, walked a lot outside because there was a trail behind the house, went out to eat, um, went and visited a farm sanctuary and did a few [00:01:00] other things. but with as little scheduling as possible. Um, we had dinner reservations and I, you know, visiting the farm sanctuary was a tour, so we had to book a time for that.
But everything else was kind of just like when we wanted to do it. And there's something just so freeing about that for my brain. Um, I love structure. I'm a structure person. And so in some ways it doesn't really make sense. Um, But it feels like a real decompression of not having to like run a carpool and have appointments and go here and go there and be back and by a certain time and fit in the workout and make the food and the tutor's coming and picking up Ben and driving the carpool and all the things that like our life.
Anyway, just sharing a little bit of my brain really like unrelated to this um, what I wanted to talk about today. Um, so this is going to air Monday. November 18th, happens to be my 17th wedding anniversary. That's crazy. [00:02:00] Um, Is a concept that I probably talked about on here before. I don't know if I've ever done a dedicated episode to it But I've talked about this specific concept before but it's been coming up recently in conversations with clients and in my own work and thoughts So, um always once is never so let's talk about this again And this is the around the idea of the value of doing the smallest possible thing And the value of showing up in any way, no matter how small.
And I have a mathematical analogy around this that I love to use, because I think it really makes this kind of vague, sort of, not ambiguous, but hard to see the outcome of concept. Because we often, I think what we struggle with here is that when we do something really small, we don't get like this big outcome.
And so we're like, why, why, why bother? Why is it worth it? Because we are so used to, when it comes to food and exercise and how we feel about how [00:03:00] we look, needing to make drastic changes. And that a drastic big outcome has become the norm, like that's been normalized as the standard, when that's actually really not how change works.
And so in order to get those big outcomes, we need to do big changes. Actions. That's how, that's at least what we think. So it's like if we do something small, we don't get that big outcome right away. And we're like, why bother? Why keep going? Nothing's happening. Nothing's changing. When in fact, it's the accumulation of those small changes over time that get you the outcomes you want.
And because they are so small, you're able to keep up with it over a long period of time and get those outcomes. Where when we do the big things, to get the big outcomes right away, we can't keep up with them. So maybe we do get a big outcome right away, but it doesn't last very long at all. So here's the math analogy.
Zero plus zero plus zero, add on as many zeros as you want, is always going to be zero. Doing nothing over time will always get you nothing. Point oh one plus point oh one plus point oh one [00:04:00] will always add up to a bigger number. So we've been doing the smallest thing, right? Think about 0. 01 from a mathematical standpoint, where it's a really small amount.
But if we do that every day, it adds up to something over time. And because it is so small, we are able to do it every day, which means it will add up to something over time. And there is a lot of value and a lot of power in that concept. And so I encourage you, especially as we come into the holiday season, right?
So this is November 18th, Thanksgiving is next week, or like, we are like in it now. I don't know, it's kind of snuck up on me. Um, and maybe because the weather's been, I don't, I don't know what it is, but like, we are in it. Like, holidays are here. Um, we often go into like, like this, all the times I fuck it mindset.
Well, why bother doing anything right now? It's the holidays. It's too much. There's all these parties. I don't have time. I'm going to be going out. I'll just deal with it in January. Like, no. [00:05:00] You know that doesn't work. Don't do that. Like, I'm just gonna call a spade a spade. Don't do that. What is something really small that you can show up and do daily or a few times a week?
And when I say really small, I'll give you some examples. And these are not a list of things that you should choose from. These are just things that like, give you kind of a reference point and then you can apply that to your own life, right? If you are someone who is not exercising at all, and you know you want and need to move your body, right?
And you kind of feel like, well, if I can't go to the gym four times a week for 45 minutes to an hour, why bother? Nothing's going to work. Okay. So your something small could be go for a 10 minute walk two or three times a week. Your initial reaction is going to be like, that's a waste of time. I'm not going to get anything out of that.
That's ridiculous. That doesn't count. Well, guess what? If you could do that two or three times a week and keep up with it over weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks, you will get a far better outcome than doing nothing because you couldn't do the 45 minutes [00:06:00] four times a week. When it comes to food, right, I'm going to use protein because that's like always my go to.
Um, You, it's like you know you need to eat more protein. You want to eat more protein, you know you need to eat more protein, but it feels so overwhelming. You're like, I don't know where to start. Again, coming into the holidays, I'm going to be going out, there's going to be parties, what's going to be there?
I'm going to be drinking, and sweets, and all this stuff, and out of routine, and vacations, and breaks, and kids are home, and etc., etc., etc. What is a protein? Come up with two to three protein ideas that you could have at breakfast. That's it. Just breakfast. Just breakfast. And can you work on having those three to four days a week?
Do that. Do that for the next seven weeks through the holidays and see what happens. Instead of doing nothing because you can't do everything. So there's a, there's this, an articulation and I kind of just said it, that I kind of came to me, and I think I've done like an Instagram post on it like a [00:07:00] while ago.
It's sort of this idea that we have, if you can't do everything, then we don't do anything. And that is really like where so many of us just get stuck. That is really where we get stuck. It's the all or nothing mindset. It's the perfectionist mindset. It's the, The conditioning that we've had growing up in diet culture with drastic before and after photos and 30 day challenges and 1200 calorie diets and Octavia and isogenics and all these things promise and sometimes often deliver quick extreme results.
So it's like we've, we've reset, our brains have reset, we have like a new baseline of what is considered like a normal amount of progress, what's considered a normal outcome. And it's like what's actually normal based on how humans adapt and change isn't. Like we've totally created this, this false reality for ourselves.[00:08:00]
Another way of articulating this is the thing that's keeping you from making progress is trying to do everything at once. And I really encourage you to notice your tendency to do that. Notice yourself, call yourself out on it, see the behavior and say, Oh, there I am doing that thing again. There's my brain telling me that I have to go to the gym five times this week.
I have to do five bootcamp classes. Otherwise, nothing's going to happen. I'm not going to lose weight. I'm not going to tone up. I'm not going to look good. I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to be improving my health if I don't do that. Notice your brain telling you that, and then How can you respond to it?
How can you question it? What is one small thing that you can do that is between that extreme and doing nothing? And then ask yourself, well, what's the worst that could happen, right? It's like doing this [00:09:00] one small thing, this 01, feels like a leap of faith in some ways because it's so unfamiliar, it's so uncomfortable, and so outside the norm.
Ask yourself, well, what's What's the worst that could happen? I'm already doing nothing. So if I do a little something, what could, what bad could happen? And really, what's the, really their answer is like, nothing. What's the worst that happens? Nothing changes, right? But I will say with like pretty, pretty high confidence that if you choose something small enough that you can do, which allows you to do that.
Consistently, you will get those changes. You have to give yourself time. And again, like it comes back to like, if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. Like how many times are we going to circle back around to doing the same behaviors over and over and over again before we start to say, hang on a sec, I know this isn't working.
It's time for something [00:10:00] different. This is one of those something difference that can have a huge, huge impact. So, what is your 01? What is your 01 around food, around movement, around sleep, around the way you talk to yourself when you see yourself in the mirror? Um, there's a lot of opportunities for this, right?
This could be around protein, could be around vegetables, could be around meals, could be around snacking, could be around alcohol. Pick one, one thing, and then a 01 within that one thing. You don't need to change everything at once. I will go so far as to say you can't really change everything at once.
It's too much. Our bodies and brains don't adapt that quickly. Um, around behaviors like this, things that are day to day, things that we cannot just cut out of our lives. So that's what I have to say today. Um, today is the first day of photo freedom. [00:11:00] If you still want to join, you could still join. Um, you won't get the first day's lesson, you'll get the next four days, but I could also probably just send it to you.
So if you send me a note and you want to join, it's not too late. This is like my freebie holiday gift, five day course, all about learning how to not hate the way that you look in photos for the holiday season and beyond. Link will still be in the show notes. You can reach out to me if you want me to add you to the list.
It's not too late. Thank you for being here and, uh, I'll see you next week.