episode 163: are you addicted to sugar?
In today's episode, I’m delving into a topic that stirs up a lot of conversation and curiosity: our relationship with sugar. Is sugar addiction a real thing? If it is, how do you know you’re addicted? And if it’s not, why do we all struggle with it so much?
Here's a sneak peek at what we'll be exploring:
How does sugar impact our brain chemistry? Is it as intense as some say, or have we misunderstood its effects?
Is it really sugar we have an issue with, or the entire experience of eating something sweet, chewy, creamy and amazing?
How to feel less stressed out by sugar
Specific skills you can use to feel more at ease around dessert and foods that often feel hard to have around
Is it ever realistic to cut out sugar entirely?
Can you eat sugar and also lose weight without counting calories?
Take a listen to episodes 138 and 143 for more resources and support on how to lose weight without counting calories.
Also a quick reminder that these are the last few days to get on the early interest list for Eat with Ease because registration opens up on Thursday, 2/1! Six months of semi private coaching in a small intimate group so you can finally feel at ease around food and in your body. Click here to add your name for $50 off the monthly rate and first access to sign up.
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[00:00:00] Hello everyone, good morning, or good afternoon, whenever you happen to be listening to this. Um, it is episode 163 of the Diet Diaries, and let's see, this episode is going to air on Monday, January 29th, which means this is the last week to get your name on the Eat With Ease waitlist, because registration opens up for the folks on that early interest list on Thursday, February 1st.
[00:00:34] So if you're listening after February 1st, sorry. Um, if there's still spots available, you might still be able to join if you're interested. But I really, really encourage you, if you're even thinking about this, considering it, to just have your name on that list. Because it's already, there's already a really good number of people on there, far more than are actually going than there is space for in this group.
[00:00:55] Um, and you get a discount. So I like creating a list of people who are interested because I connect with them. I've been emailing with them every week. People are responding and asking questions. So it's a nice way to start to kind of like create a little bit of back and forth, get to know each other a bit, and just get more information about what this is going to be.
[00:01:13] Um, by the time you listen to this, will be kind of so close to registration that it'll be kind of beyond that, but it's still not too late. So, um, Meet With Ys is my, in case you're wondering, if you are a new listener and you haven't heard me talk about it, it's my six month semi private coaching program that starts February 12th.
[00:01:30] And we are going to be a small, intimate group, meeting online every other week for six months and having a WhatsApp group chat in between. And we are going to be working on skills around fat loss, body image, relationship to food, exercise, meal prep, meal plan, meal planning, um, getting dressed, self care, all, all of the things.
[00:01:54] Um, and This is going to be a super small group, maxing out at five people. If we get, if there's more people than that who are interested in doing this, then I'll create two groups, because that super small group is very, very important to the experience that I want everyone to have. I want us to connect and bond and have a relationship and feel safe and be able to trust each other and have us show up for each other, because this is group coaching, right?
[00:02:17] It's not one to one, so having that relationship within the group is really, really important. Um, So, again, just wanted to share that. There's a link in the show notes. And, yeah, that is all for that. So, today, I'm kind of excited to talk about today's episode. I'm, um, actually, yesterday, at the time that I'm recording this, just this past weekend, I, um, spoke at an open house at the Pilates studio that I go to in Garwood.
[00:02:45] And it was an open house to come and, like, take reformer classes, learn about the studio, and so the owner invited me to come in and talk about coaching and nutrition work and body image and all that. And so I was having a conversation with one of the women who came in and she was talking to me about the fact that she feels like she's addicted to sugar.
[00:03:00] And we had a really interesting conversation around it. This is definitely not the first time I've spoken about this with people, and I've actually had this on my list as a podcast topic for like months, and I'm like, okay, boom. This is it. Today is the day. I'm going to record this because we just had this conversation, and I know this is something that a lot of people struggle with.
[00:03:19] Right at the top of this, I want to say that this is, this podcast episode, um, is my opinion. That is backed up by some research, but I'm not going to sit here and cite research studies for you. Um, this is going to be more of like a qualitative perspective, anecdotal, my experience based on experiences of my clients.
[00:03:38] Um, and if you want to go and kind of dig into the research, what you will find is it's not very well done and it's very inconclusive. Um, so. kind of right off the top for people out there who've heard that sugar is addictive, that it's as addictive as cocaine, that's not actually what the research is showing.
[00:03:57] Um, it's very easy to kind of cherry pick data and interpret research data as you want to suit the story that you want to kind of put out into the world. Um, A lot of that research was done on rats and rodents and talking about the amounts of sugar that was given to them and, and all sorts of things. So what I want to share with you is more about like real world, like living in a world where sugar is all around us and how do we navigate that?
[00:04:21] Because that's really what's important. Um, not to say that what happens in a lab isn't important, but what happens in real life is sometimes more important. Um, and, You know, I think a lot of this is like, what's the story that you have around this? Are you constantly telling yourself you're addicted to sugar?
[00:04:39] I have no self control. I'm out of control. I can't have that around, right? Because if that's the story that you have and there's, like, you are believing that, Then it's going to fuel that, it's going to continue to fuel that behavior. The language that you use to talk to yourself around this really, really matters.
[00:04:56] And you might really feel that way. You might feel like you are addicted to sugar, that whenever it's around, you can't control yourself. That is a real and valid feeling. What I'm offering you today is kind of a reframe on that to kind of ask, well, why do I feel that way? Is it because of the food or the sugar itself?
[00:05:17] Or is it because of me? And I'm not saying that to like place blame. I'm saying that to talk about like, well, is there something that's missing in terms of like the skill set or the way that you have to manage the food, right? Because when it's an addiction, it feels like that food controls you, right? It decides what happens to you.
[00:05:35] And we want to give you back the autonomy to be able to make.
[00:05:42] And when I talk about this, one of my favorite things, and I'm not the first person to kind of use this sort of example or analogy around this, but if you have thought to yourself, I'm addicted to sugar, I want to ask you this, have you ever, or would you ever stick a spoon into a tub of white granulated sugar and eat it?
[00:06:00] 99. 9 percent of the time, if not 100, I'm going to say the answer is no, right? It would, it would be like, ugh, like that, the graininess, that the texture would be gross. It would taste super sweet, but it would just be Gross. None of us would do that. And so I say that to remind you that is it sugar that's addictive?
[00:06:24] Because if sugar was addictive in the way that like people say cocaine is addictive, people will snort cocaine, they will rub it on their gums, they will inject it, they will get it into their bodies in any way possible. When it comes to sugar, we won't do that. You're not going to sit there and eat spoonfuls of white granulated sugar.
[00:06:40] just to get sugar. What you will do is eat Reese's peanut butter cups and cookies and muffins and baked goods and eat frosting out of a tub and ice cream and all of that. And there's a big difference there because it's the way that sugar gets kind of packaged up and mixed up with other ingredients, fat.
[00:07:01] And then the texture and the experience around it. Is it crunchy? Is it creamy? Is it smooth? Is it a combination of those textures? Is it warm? Is it cold? Is it a combination? Is it like a hand to mouth thing where you're putting like cookie after cookie or do you sit there and eat it with a spoon? Like what is the whole, the whole kind of all encompassing experience of that thing?
[00:07:22] That plays a huge role into why you feel like you are addicted to that thing. It is not the sugar itself. It is that the sugar ingredient in combination with all of those other things that I just mentioned. And that is really, really important because when we look at it from that perspective, we can identify skills and we can give ourselves kind of some structure or around those foods and what to do when they show up in our presence, which I'm going to talk about.
[00:07:55] Um, but I want to kind of also talk about why, you know, a little bit of the science behind this. Um, you know, people will talk about that sugar lights up the same part of your brain as cocaine, that it gives you kind of like a dopamine hit, releases dopamine. That is true. Sugar does release dopamine, as do addictive drugs.
[00:08:14] But you know what else releases dopamine? any kind of pleasurable fun activity that you want to do more of. Shopping, going on a vacation, seeing a friend you haven't had, having a great meal that may have like, you know, not no sugar, but a great meal that could be like a savory meal, like a burger and fries, or a pizza, or like even an amazing salad, where if it brings you pleasure and joy and you want to have more of it, there's going to be a dopamine release because of that.
[00:08:40] So to say, like, it's a very, very reductionist. um, interpretation of science to say that oh, sugar and cocaine both, both release dopamine. There's a lot of stuff that releases dopamine that is wonderful and beneficial. So it's way too oversimplified to just say. You know, say that and leave it at that. The other thing I want to say is that someone who's addicted, and I'm just gonna keep using cocaine because that's kind of the example that's so often like given out there.
[00:09:11] So when someone's addicted to cocaine, it impacts their entire life, their behavior, their ability to function and show up, the way they connect with their people, what's happening at their job, right? Yes, when we have a disordered relationship with food, it can be stressful and it can take up a lot of space in our brain.
[00:09:28] It can affect our behaviors in terms of, well, if this restaurant doesn't have this food, I can't go out, or I'm on a special diet, and so I have to have my shake at home and I can't go out to dinner with friends. But that's not just about sugar. That's about your all encompassing relationship around food.
[00:09:43] Um, so those are very important. distinctions. Um, and so I think that's why using the language, I'm addicted to sugar is A, scientifically not really accurate, and B, continues to weave a story and perpetuate a story in your brain that's really going to keep you stuck where you are. Um, and so the stories that we tell ourselves and the language we use to talk to ourselves, I know I'm repeating myself, but that's okay, is It's very, very important.
[00:10:11] It's part of how we start to kind of rewire our brains. So I kind of want to talk about some ways to start to reframe this and rethink this, um, so that you walk away from listening to this episode with some, like, tangible skills and tools to think about. Um, and one of them is kind of thinking about the jobs of foods.
[00:10:33] I've talked about this in other episodes, um, but I'm going to mention it here is, right, like, a candy bar has a job. And an apple has a job. They don't have the same job. And what happens is when we try to put those foods to do each other's jobs, that's when things get messy. Like imagine if you tried to have like a history teacher teach a science class and a science teacher teach a history class, you'd be screwed.
[00:10:55] They wouldn't be able to get anything done because they're not in their qualifications, they're not matched up with the job they're in. Same thing goes for food. So if you're hungry and you go to grab candy, You're gonna feel out of control because the candy is never gonna fill you. So it's not that you're gonna feel out of control, but that's because you chose the wrong food for the job.
[00:11:17] This is really, really important because this is what fuels some of the stories we have. When you know how to choose the right food for the job, then you can start to make choices that will actually feel good. When you're hungry, you need to eat some protein, you need to eat some fat, you need to eat some carbs, so that you can feel full and satisfied.
[00:11:33] When you're hungry, You don't need to eat a candy bar or cookies or chips, which aren't even sugar, but we all know sometimes we have these same feelings about chips, which is another reason like why it's not a sugar addiction. It's about kind of the, um, experience and the combination of these flavors and textures all at once.
[00:11:48] If you reach for those foods and you're hungry, of course you're going to keep eating them. Of course you're going to feel crappy because they're not, they're never going to fill you. That's not their job. Um, it's not the fault of the food. It's that we made not, we made not a great choice. Um, and mostly we make those choices because.
[00:12:04] We don't know, out of convenience, out of what's easy, out of stress, right? There's lots of these circumstances and environmental factors that are playing into why we choose those foods so often. You know, this kind of brings me into a little bit of a sidebar, but important, is that these foods that we think we're addicted to are also very convenient, readily available, inexpensive, um, Foods that kids tend to eat a lot.
[00:12:27] So if you're a parent, they're going to be around a lot, you know, so that is the environmental and the circumstantial piece of it matters, right? Foods that are more nutritious, um, are more expensive, take more time to prepare. are less convenient, less portable. Again, so all of this really matters is to the story that you've told yourself about this.
[00:12:49] Um, you know, a candy bar is really easy. You unwrap it, you eat it immediately. Like a turkey sandwich and a salad, take some preparation, take some work, right? So right off the bat there, yeah, you can grab sugar immediately, but something that's more nutritious is going to take time and effort. And so the way that we start to interrupt that is to kind of You know, create some awareness around it, around the story that you're telling yourself, around the actions that you're doing.
[00:13:15] And to give yourself some structure, like what are some more convenient, more filling foods to have around, right? Like, is it deli meat? Is it jerky sticks? Um, you know, is it hard boiled eggs that are like ready to go? And I know that sounds kind of like cliche, um, but if you're truly hungry and you need something that's gonna fill you, and you need it to be convenient, then have some of those foods around.
[00:13:39] Eat that first with like a piece of fruit, right? Grab like some turkey slices and like a piece of cheese. I just started, I just found these um, I think the brand is like Belgioiso. Um, I got them in a shop, right? They're these parmesan cheese blocks. They are awesome. They are so good and they are very satiating because it's protein and fats.
[00:13:58] So like have one or two of those with a piece of fruit. Satiate that hunger, and then if you want something sweet, you're going to be much more able to have a piece of chocolate or a cookie. In a way that's going to feel like you're in control and getting to make the decision. Then if you're starving, don't eat the snack that's going to satiate you and go right for the sweets.
[00:14:18] Um, you know, and obviously we struggle with sweets not just when we're hungry, right? Like we could be have a really filling dinner and someone brings out dessert and you might feel really full and you eat the dessert anyway, right? Because it tastes so good and it is. These foods are designed. to make it hard to stop.
[00:14:35] And here's where there's an important, an important piece of science in that humans have evolved over thousands and thousands and thousands of years. And our modern society and culture around food has evolved very quickly over the last 100 years. And there is a mismatch between where humans are evolutionarily, that's a word, and where our modern society and food manufacturing and food environment is.
[00:15:03] So our brains have not yet adapted to the ready, the readily available convenience foods. We respond to them in the way we used to respond to food thousands of years ago when it was scarce, when we had to hoard calories, right? When we had to maybe eat a lot at once because we didn't know when the next meal was going to be.
[00:15:22] Those same mechanisms still exist in our brains, because evolution takes millions of years. But now we've got all these foods around that trigger those same responses, but much more so. Like, like, they exacerbate it to like the nth degree, then does your brain respond to some of these foods which are salty and sweet and crunchy and creamy all at once.
[00:15:44] That's your brain doing what it's supposed to do, but then we end up eating a lot more than we actually need to because those foods are not really designed for our human brains, right? Our human brains don't know what to do with them. Is kind of like what I'm And that's just reality, right? But it doesn't mean then the answer we try to give is like, oh, I just can't have sugar.
[00:16:07] I have to cut sugar out. No sugar. I can't eat sugar. I can't eat carbs. I have no control. I just can't do it. And again, for 99 percent of us, that is not a long term answer because it's very difficult. Cutting out cocaine and alcohol is not the same as cutting out part of food that's just not the same.
[00:16:25] You can't really make that analogy on something that has a hugely detrimental impact to your life and your well being and your health and your behavior. Whereas, you know, sugar shows up in a lot of what we eat, which is sometimes, you know, not great. But to say that you're never going to have a piece of cake at your kid's birthday party or your daughter's wedding, and I'm going just for like the special events, to say you're never going to do that or that you're only going to have it on those days is not really realistic.
[00:16:49] This is that all or nothing mindset. And we do that because we feel like it's the only way we can try and control something that makes us feel ill. out of control. We feel like we gain control by getting rid of that thing, but actually what you're doing by trying to eliminate it is you're just continuing to let it control you.
[00:17:08] Control doesn't happen by eliminating something in that way. I'm not talking about drugs and alcohol, it's a different science, different, they're like different thing. It happens by learning skills to be able to be in the presence of that thing, right? If you never let yourself have sweets around, and then you have sweets around, and you binge on them, overeat them, and you tell yourself the story, this is why I can't have it around, I overeat it.
[00:17:32] Well, you can't learn how to do something if you never let yourself have that thing around. It's like this weird contradictory oxymoron kind of thing. In order to feel comfortable and feel in control around sugar, you have to learn how to have sugar around, you have to develop skills to do that. And you do it slowly, and you do it bit by bit, with like one single serving of something at a time.
[00:17:49] I've talked about this on other episodes, but these skills, I mean, this is it, like this is the work. Um, you know, so if you are someone who feels like you can't have any sweets in the house, I get it. A skill you can practice is to buy a single serving of something that feels really challenging for you, whether it's like an ice cream bar or a cookie or a slice of cake, whatever the thing is for you, you buy one serving of it and you bring it into your house and you really try to do this when other people are not around to the best of your ability and you put it on a plate and you sit at a table and your phone is nowhere to be found, you're not listening to a podcast, you're not looking at TikTok, you're not watching a show, you're not chasing after your kid if possible, you are focused on this and you take a bite of that thing And you taste it and you chew it and you notice what are the flavors?
[00:18:34] What are the textures? How much do I like this? And then you take another bite and you do the same thing. And it's like, oh, do I like this bite as much as the last bite? Is anything different? And you continue to go through that process until maybe you eat the whole thing or maybe you eat quarter or half or three quarters and you're like, this bite doesn't taste as good as the last bite.
[00:18:54] And then that's new information for you to be like, holy shit, this actually doesn't even taste as good as I thought it was going to, or it doesn't taste as good as the first five bites. I don't have to finish it. And that may feel very, very uncomfortable. I'm not saying that you're going to all of a sudden be like, Oh, yeah, like rainbows and, you know, hummingbirds are going to come from the sky.
[00:19:13] And you're like, Oh, I get it now. I don't have to finish this. You might finish it anyway, but you've now given yourself the space to notice and pay attention and get some information about what is happening while you're eating this thing. Because typically when we're eating sweets, we're not paying attention.
[00:19:29] We're not sitting down. It's not on a plate. It's rushed. It's out with friends. It's leftovers from your kid. It's standing in front of a cabinet. It's late at night. We're about, we're paying zero fucking attention. And that, again, is why you feel addicted to it. Because you're kind of. tuned out from the whole thing and you don't even necessarily realize.
[00:19:47] What you're doing or how much you've eaten or you eat it and then because you weren't paying attention You feel like you didn't have anything. So then you want more These there's so many factors that are contributing to why you feel addicted. It's not actual addiction It's a lack of skills and that lack of skills truth be told is not your fault These skills are things we are I believe we are innately born with but are stripped away from us at a very early age by well meaning parents and adults A lot of generational stuff here.
[00:20:15] And then we have to deal with our environment. And our hustle culture, which is do more, go faster, don't make time for yourself, take a lunch break. Screw that. You don't work hard if you take a lunch break. And all of this crap. Right? There's a lot to contend with and that can feel overwhelming. But again, that's why I'm doing this episode is to give you some context for why you feel like you're addicted to sugar and help reframe it a little bit.
[00:20:39] That feeling is real and valid, but is it actually addiction or is it these other circumstances, lack of skills, environments that are actually creating that feeling, which is cool because those are things we can actually work on. Those are things we can take action on. Those are things where we can kind of like put a stake in the ground and like reclaim control, which is really empowering because feeling.
[00:21:03] Like a food is controlling you because you know it's there and you feel powerless around it is the worst Feeling if you're listening to this podcast, I would bet that you know that feeling and There are skills you can learn to not feel powerless, right? I just talked about one of them which is that practice of buying that single serve thing and you will have to do that many Times I'm not gonna sit here and tell you you're gonna do it once you're gonna figure it out You're gonna have to do that many But I think you will pick up on it faster than you think you will, and it will teach you, it will give you the evidence that you need that you can eat sweets, and not feel out of control.
[00:21:43] That you can pay attention, that you can notice what's happening. And what goes along with this, this kind of goes back to that all or nothing thing, right, where we try to regain control by cutting it out, but that's actually not regaining control, it's just kind of avoiding the whole thing, is by giving yourself permission.
[00:21:59] I had a phenomenal text conversation with a client a week or two ago. Where she was eating chocolate and she had a serving of chocolate and she immediately wanted more because you're going to want more. That is a very normal reaction. But when you've done that work of sitting down and practicing you've learned how to pause and slow down and pay attention and then you can see I want more and maybe I'm working on fat loss and I know that having three chocolate's really not going to be in alignment with that goal or even how I want to feel in my body.
[00:22:32] And she was like, I know that if I want more, I can have some tomorrow. And here's the crux of the thing. What we often do around sugar is we say, I'm allowed to have it today. But I can't, I'm not allowed to have it tomorrow. I'm not allowed to have it until next week or next month or until this next special occasion.
[00:22:50] And when you put that scarcity around it, you put yourself in a position where you feel like you have to eat it even if you don't want it. And you end up eating it because you're not giving yourself that permission. Again, it's like one of these oxymoron things. Like, these very contradictory ways of approaching things where we think What we're doing is helpful, but it's actually just causing us to do the thing we're trying to not do.
[00:23:14] And that is putting scarcity around food and saying, I'm only allowed, I'm only allowed to have these sweet foods on these days, or once a week, or whatever it is. We try to put those parameters around it as a way to give structure and control, but it's not. Because when you feel like you can only have that thing on that day, You don't have the ability to choose whether or not you actually want it because it's your only chance and that is going to override Whether or not you actually want it.
[00:23:43] And I know it feels scary. You're saying to yourself right now Well, if I tell myself I can have it tomorrow, of course, I'm gonna have it I'm gonna have sugar every day then and I'm telling you you have to take a leap of faith of this Not only will you not Over time want like a big piece of cake every day.
[00:24:02] You will learn to be satisfied With smaller portions of things, because you will learn that you can have some the next day, or you can have like, let's say, sit down after dinner and have two or three cookies, and that can easily fit into, oh, working on fat loss, a thousand percent. Um, And then if you know you want to have two or three cookies the next day, you can.
[00:24:26] When you sit down at a table and you eat them on a napkin and you pay attention. Whereas if you tell yourself, I can't have cookies again for a week, you're gonna feel a need to eat a whole bunch of cookies. Even if you don't want the cookies, even if you're full, even if you're not in the mood for them, you're gonna eat them anyway, because it's your only chance.
[00:24:43] I'm hoping you're kind of like putting this together and realizing that like, you have the best of intentions when you try to put that structure in place of saying I can only have this on XYZ days, but it's intent versus impact. The intention is not, the actual impact of that is not the intention that you have, which means you have to try something else.
[00:25:03] And this is the something else that you need to work on. And again, this isn't to say that, like, it becomes a free for all where you just have, like, cake and cupcakes and ice cream anytime you want it. There's a lot of other structure we put in place around this. I'm trying to capture this in a half hour podcast.
[00:25:15] This is something we spend a lot of time working on in coaching. But there's enough here in what I'm sharing. to give you some stuff to think about, to help you kind of get honest with yourself about what you're doing, the way you're talking to yourself, the way you feel around food, and how you want to live for the rest of your life.
[00:25:30] The next 30, 40, 50 years, do you really want to be in a place where like you feel this shitty? around suites? I don't think so. And so, if what you've, if you're still here, it means everything you've done up until this point hasn't worked. And everything you've done up until this point are the things I've talked about.
[00:25:47] Right? Cutting it out, I can't have it, I can only have it on a cheat day, I'm out of control, I'm addicted, whatever it is. That's not working. If it was working, you wouldn't be following me and listening to this podcast. It's just, that's the truth. We need, you have to develop skills. It is literally the only way.
[00:26:03] It is the only way to make a change is to learn skills, a couple of which I've shared with you today. Um, so I really, I want you to know that like, you're not alone, that when you have this story that is real, it is valid, it is based on your experience. But what I'm trying to do again is to give you context as to why that has been your experience.
[00:26:22] What is going on that has made you feel this way? So that you see you can like kind of like take back your power, but you have, you do have an ability to make changes. You do have an ability to take back control. Um, so I think that's really everything I wanted to share today. Thank you for listening. This was fun to talk about.
[00:26:41] I hope it's helpful. Reach out, um, if you've got questions, if you're experimenting with things like some of these skills and, um, you feel like you need support, I'm always here and I will be back next week.