episode 158: the 2 most effective skills to deal with cravings
Happy end of 2023! Today is the last Diet Diaries episode of the year.
Whether this is your first, 5th or 158 time listening (if you have listened to every episode PLEASE reach out because you are my hero!!!), thank you for giving me your time, energy and attention. Which I would argue are our most valuable resources.
To cap off the year I’m talking about an issue that feels especially hard this time of year with so much food around, but is something we struggle with daily: how to deal with cravings and snacking. If you’re always feeling hungry even after eating, this one is for you.
why managing cravings matters if you want to lose weight without counting calories
I’ve done an entire webinar on this, but today I’m sharing my top 2 skills that you can start practicing immediately to help you make more thoughtful, intentional choices around food and get more clarity as to what’s causing your cravings. And if you are currently working on fat loss or have a goal for 2024, then this is a must listen because these skills play a huge role in losing weight without counting calories.
Check out episode 150 for more support if you’re struggling to have certain foods around the house.
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[00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome back. Thanks for being here. Thanks for listening. Thanks for taking a small part of your day and giving me your time and your energy and your attention. I I don't take it for granted. So I just kind of wanted to start today by saying thank you. I feel like I usually say thank you at the end and people are probably shutting, shutting it off by that point, shutting off the episode.
[00:00:21] So I wanted to say thank you up front, especially as we're coming into the end of the year. Um, I just, I really appreciate you folks who listen, who share the podcast, um, whether it's the whole podcast or a single episode, it doesn't matter. Um, and whether you've just found the Diet Diaries or you have been listening since day one, three years ago.
[00:00:42] Um, Thank you for being here. I truly, truly appreciate it. There are more podcasts out there, I think, than there are like grains of sand on a beach. Like, it's insane and it's overwhelming. I get overwhelmed by it. So the fact that you make the choice to give a small amount of your time to this one, to mine, it's like fucking awesome.
[00:01:03] So anyway, um, this episode's coming out Monday, December 18th. I'm going to do a little podcast vacation next week. So no new episode. next week. There will be a new episode, however, on Monday, January 1st. Yeah, Ben's off school and he's actually going away with my parents for a few days, but it's just nice to like take a little bit of downtime.
[00:01:32] And I think so many of us, our attention's pulled in so many different directions that week anyway, that it seems like I think a good time for everyone to like have one last thing. To know that like you want to do or listen to. So no new podcast next week off just for a week back on Monday, January 1st.
[00:01:50] So today I'm gonna keep again, I'm gonna keep this last one of the year, oh my gosh. It was the last podcast of 2023. Super short, and I wanna talk about. The top two skills to deal with cravings. Now again, this applies to any time of year. This idea kind of popped into my head last night. I love podcasts that are like, my favorite three things, or top two skills, or five things to try.
[00:02:12] Like, bulleted lists that you can take away, maybe one of those things or all of those things that are really succinct and really actionable, right? Not every episode that I do. gives you things to take action on. Sometimes it's things to think about or to let you know that you're less alone. But I really also want a good number of these episodes to give you something to work on, to get a sense of, um, what coaching is like maybe.
[00:02:36] And even kind of separate from that, just what you can do on your own to make changes around food, working on fat loss, around body image, on movement, on self care, um, because there's a lot that you can do if you keep it simple and you keep it small. So my top two skills. to practice if you are dealing with cravings.
[00:02:57] So this is great for this time of year. We're coming to the last couple of weeks. There's tons of food around. There's tons of leftovers around. There's a ton of stuff around that we don't normally have around. Lots of desserts and cookies and gifts and chocolates and people ship you things. And your partner brings home stuff from work and all of that stuff.
[00:03:13] So there's more around, which probably is going to mean there's an uptick in feeling the urge to eat that stuff. I practice these skills myself, my clients practice them and love them. I've shared them before, this is not, again, this is nothing new, right, there's not a whole lot of new information out there.
[00:03:30] It's hearing it repeatedly and letting it hit you at the right time when you need it. So skill number one is to use a timer. When you get an urge to grab a snack in between meals, especially after dinner on the couch watching TV, and you know you're not hungry, right? But you're getting the urge to eat something.
[00:03:54] You're going to take out, your phone is probably the easiest thing, but you could use obviously your watch. I had a client use like a kitchen timer, which was a phenomenal idea. It was a lot easier for her than dealing with her phone. Get it out and set it. For any amount of time, I would say minimum is a minute up to five to ten minutes and just set the timer and let it run.
[00:04:15] And in that time, you are creating space between the urge and the reaction, right? You are creating space so that you can actually kind of sit. in that discomfort and get practice knowing what that feels like. You get practice tolerating that discomfort. You get practice not getting into the instant gratification of having the urge to go grab the cookies and then immediately just doing it.
[00:04:39] And then you get some space, not just to do all that, but to also then make a thoughtful choice around how you want to respond to that urge. So that in fact you can respond instead of react, because that is what we often do. When we don't put space in between the urge and then the thing that comes after it, which is usually a reaction, we react.
[00:05:01] When we put space in there and using a timer is an amazing way to do that, we can then respond thoughtfully and with intention. Sometimes the craving will pass. Sometimes it won't. If it passes, awesome. Right? That is like a win win. If it doesn't, that's okay too. You have still built up your tolerance to sitting in the discomfort of wanting something and not giving into it right away.
[00:05:24] You've proven to yourself that you can do that. And you've given yourself some space to decide, because then you've got options. When the timer goes off and you still want the thing, you can set the timer again. You can go eat the thing. And then there's some structure around what you could do with that.
[00:05:37] I'm not actually going to get into that because it's kind of a separate episode. Um, but I will quickly mention, we're talking about things like taking one portion, putting it on a plate, sitting at a table. choosing any one or all of those skills to practice. But using a timer as a way to create, and this is like very structured.
[00:05:57] This isn't like some of the more kind of internalized, I'll call it touchy feely skills we work on where it's like, well, what am I feeling? And how am I feeling? And what am I noticing? And how hungry am I? Like, No, this is like external, this is an external skill because you're setting a timer and it's giving you structure.
[00:06:12] It's giving you, you're setting a boundary for yourself. And that is phenomenal. That is very often what we need. Now to just sit there and white knuckle it with your brain churning and you're like, Oh my God, when can I have the thing? When can I have the thing? I shouldn't have the thing. The thing is bad, but I want the thing.
[00:06:26] But it's bad. I want it. The whole back and forth. Set a timer. Set a timer. And. That may still happen in your brain, but at least you've got the timer there to give you some boundaries around it. And you may find that because the timer is creating that boundary, your brain may actually shift away from that food.
[00:06:44] Because it's like, oh, this other thing is kind of making this decision for me in a way right now. We're giving me some support in making this choice. So now I don't have to think about it. I don't have to go back and forth. I don't have to have that battle, that internal battle. And then when the timer goes off, You can then make more of a choice, right?
[00:07:01] maybe you've had a chance to kind of quickly run through and think about what you're working on or One or two of kind of like your core values, right? And Saying okay. Is this like really am I really gonna feel good or like how is my future self gonna feel? Like how am I gonna feel ten minutes after I eat this thing, right?
[00:07:17] You can gives you a chance to practice some of those other skills. Okay skill number two This is one of my all time favorites. I have been using this for years again. I did not invent this But I think it is really underutilized. Um, and that is when you get a craving to ask yourself, would I eat steamed chicken and broccoli right now?
[00:07:39] And if you don't like steamed chicken and broccoli, or you're a vegetarian or you're a vegan, insert bland, boring food of your choice. The idea is, if you get the urge to eat something, this is a way to check in and really see, am I actually hungry? Like, why am I eating this? And you will know instantaneously, this works.
[00:08:00] 100 percent of the time in terms of knowing whether or not this is hunger or a craving, whether or not then you choose to, if you know it's a craving, then you have to kind of work, you could then set the timer, right? I probably should have done these in reverse order, but you could do this first and then set the timer.
[00:08:19] Um, but it is a really, it's also a really good gut check. Again, it creates a little bit of space. It's a pause, it gives you a moment to check in and pay attention so that you can actually know what's going on so that if you do decide to eat that thing, you are very aware that this is a craving, I'm not actually hungry, and then you can, at least you know why you're doing it, you're a little bit more, you keep kind of keeping yourself company, I, I, Um, a Janine Roth book that I read a couple years ago used that language around attention and awareness.
[00:08:51] It is the practice of keeping yourself company, right? So if you do this check in, you get the urge to have like a cookie or whatever and you say to yourself, okay, hold on, before I go grab this, let me think, would I eat steamed chicken and broccoli right now? The answer 95 percent of the time is going to be no.
[00:09:07] If the answer is yes, it means you're actually hungry and you should go eat. Not a cookie probably, but something with like a protein, fiber, a carb, some fat, you know, kind of like whether it's a meal or a mini meal, more like a snack, but something with nutrition that's going to fill you.
[00:09:25] But this will give you, again, a chance to know why you're doing it. And there's a lot of value in that. It's not a rule that says, no, you can't have the thing, but it's a way to get honest with yourself and to check in and say, okay, you know what, I don't actually need this food right now. Can I set a timer for five minutes and see what happens after that?
[00:09:45] Um, this is such a good gut check and this is such a good seal to practice that action of pausing and paying attention. And this again, gives you. Structure. It's a very specific question to ask yourself and I guarantee you, if you've never done this before, try it, you will know the answer in a hot second.
[00:10:03] There will be, you will not be confused, you will know. And that's why it's really cool. It works. It, it, it makes you get honest and real with yourself. Um, and I love it and I use it all the time. All the time. And sometimes I'll have to use it over and over and over again, right? You may do that check in and then a couple minutes later.
[00:10:23] the craving is still there and you do it again. And you're like, Nope, I don't actually want that. I don't actually want that. I would not go eat a meal right now. I don't need to eat that thing. And again, it gives you the chance to build up your capacity for sitting in discomfort for not getting into instant gratification.
[00:10:39] Not getting into instant gratification is kind of like one of these core skills, right? I talk about this idea of bridging the gap between knowing what you need to do and actually doing it. And then this idea of, not giving in to instant gratification, right? Because cravings and snacking and mindless eating and thoughtless eating is a huge reason why people gain weight.
[00:11:02] It is a huge barrier to fat loss. And so the more skills we have that teach us how to learn how to respond, When we feel that need for instant gratification, that is going to be a huge, huge part of long term sustainable fat loss. This is why diets don't work. They don't teach you any skills. They teach you what to eat and then for a period of time.
[00:11:25] And then when you're in the real world and you're presented with things in different situations or people bring food over or someone brings food home or you're at a friend's house, you're out to dinner, all these real world examples where the meal plan that you had set in place just isn't going to be there.
[00:11:38] You now have skills. to respond to the different challenges and situations that come up so you don't feel like your only option is to like binge on whatever the thing is or say I have no control around that food. I have a problem. I'm not allowed to have that. So that's it. My top two skills for dealing with cravings.
[00:12:02] And I'm going to kind of lump snacking in with this. Maybe I'll do a separate episode about snacking. Set a timer and ask yourself, would I eat steamed chicken and broccoli right now? Maybe in the reverse order. Try one, try both. If you try them, I'd love to hear how it goes. And again, thank you for being here.
[00:12:21] I will see you back in 2024.