episode 194: how to stay consistent with food and exercise when life gets lifey

This week, I’m getting real about what it takes to stay on track with food and exercise when life gets stressful. With the new puppy and the chaos of back-to-school, I’ve had to lean hard on a few key habits to keep me grounded.

It’s been interesting! And I’m sharing how I’ve navigated it all without falling into the “all-or-nothing” trap.

Here’s a sneak peek of what we’ll cover:

  • The concept of “anchor behaviors” and how they can keep you grounded

  • Why staying consistent doesn’t mean being perfect

  • A framework for adjusting your expectations when life gets crazy


If you’ve ever felt like everything’s spiraling and you just can’t keep up with your usual food/exercise routines, this one’s for you. I’ll be diving into what’s helped me stay consistent, even when life gets lifey.

If you're curious about 1:1 coaching, the interest list for this fall is open. There will be 5 spots available to help you finally feel at ease around food and in your body. Add your name to the list here to get more details the week of 9/23 and get started in October (plus you'll get a $50 discount off the monthly rate!).

  • 194

    [00:00:00] Good morning. I mean, it's morning when I'm recording this. I don't know when you're listening. , thank you for listening. Now. Thank you for being here. This is the first time I've recorded a podcast in a few weeks. 'cause I had kind of batched a couple knowing that Joey was coming. So we've had her now, by the time you listened to this next Monday, we'll have had her for over three weeks.

    As I'm recording this, it's like two and a half. So the last time I recorded a podcast was like three weeks ago. So that feels kind of weird. Um, and I'm just like doing my best. It's been. It's been great having her. It's been going really well. We had a few bumps in the road. She ended up having two parasites that she came with.

    She was a rescue, um, that came from an overbreeding situation. Um, but we didn't, whatever. I don't need to, I'll spare you guys the details, but anyway, diary in the house is not a lot of fun, but she's doing much better. She's doing great with crate training, great with housebreaking. Um, you know, but she's a puppy.

    She's a lot of work. [00:01:00] Like she needs, um, Kind of constant attention and direction and all of that. So, um, and you know, we've got her at the end of summer and Ben's been home. Obviously we haven't been in school. So we've had kind of more flexibility with morning schedules. And now as I'm recording this school starts in two days and I'm like, okay, well, mornings are going to be very different now.

    So. It's kind of a good segue into today's episode, which is really inspired by like my life over the last few weeks. But before I jump into that, I want to just quick reminder, this is going to be airing on Monday, September 9th. So we're kind of getting now closer into like the quote deadline. Um, if you are interested in learning more about coaching this fall, I'm going to have five spots available to take on women, new women.

    And so if you want to get more information about one to one coaching in a couple of weeks, add your name to the early interest list. Um, there's now already more people on the list than there are [00:02:00] spots. Um, I don't say that to create urgency. I just say that because if you're even thinking about it, put your name on the list because I can't guarantee that there will be spots left over after a week.

    I reach out to everyone on that list. Um, if they all get taken, they get taken. So don't wait and be like, Oh, I'll just like, wait and see what happens. Like, just add your name. Like you're not obligated to anything. It just gives you options. Um, gives you options to book a consult in a few weeks. If you are interested at that time, so we can get to know each other, I can hear what's going on with you and I can share how the coaching process works.

    And it also gives you a 50 discount off the monthly rate. So I'm offering that because, you I appreciate your support. I appreciate your trust. I appreciate kind of your interest. And so, um, that's why I'm kind of extending that to folks who are adding themselves to that list. Um, and we would get started in like in mid October, right?

    So again, still, if you're like, Oh my God, it's back to school too soon. I can't think about it. I get you. I totally get it. Like, that's why I'm not doing this like back to school timing. Um, [00:03:00] and even if you don't have kids or your kids are grown, fall still has that back to school feeling. feel like for everyone because summer has a very different feel for most people, um, and so there's a feeling of like routine in fall and kind of like a, obviously a shift in the seasons and, um, so I think there's almost for a lot of people more so than like January is that fall time feels like sometimes a good time to make a shift into something new and different.

    And that might be what coaching is for you. Okay, that's my spiel about that. All the infos in the show notes, social media, send me an email, whatever you need to do, add your name. Okay, so here's what I want to talk about today. Again, I'm gonna try and keep it on the shorter side. Episodes recently have been shorter, which I love for me and for you.

    And that is how to stay consistent with food and exercise when life is stressful and what I like to say when life is being lifey. And so the thing I've been thinking about, and I've heard this term before, I didn't invent this term, but are kind of like [00:04:00] anchor behaviors. And I love that term because an anchor is like what grounds you, right?

    What really keeps you tethered, what keeps you in the space, in the area that you want to be in, that's an anchor. And so I think it's so helpful to think about anchor behaviors and what are those? Because when life gets lifey. When you have a new puppy, when your kids are homesick, when you've got crazy deadlines at work, when you're taking care of sick parents, whatever is going on for you, You're likely not going to be able to do everything that you want to be doing or everything you're able to do when life is being less lifey.

    You're going to have to really kind of cull it down into what are your essentials? What are your anchors that are basically non negotiable? If you watch the bear this season, I hope that gives you like a little, like a chuckle. What are your non negotiables? And there shouldn't be too many, like 10 is too many.

    I'm talking like three to five max, maybe even less. Thanks. depending on what's going on in your [00:05:00] life. Um, so, you know, we got Joey and if you've never had a puppy before, if you're not a dog person, but you have kids, having a puppy is like having a baby and a toddler mashed up into one body. Um, if you're doing it right.

    And I say that because puppies need a shit ton of structure and supervision, and they are a ton of work. If you get a puppy and you just let it run rampant around your house and do whatever it wants, like, Okay, fine for you, like that's not how I operate. Um, if you know me at all, that's not going to come as a surprise and it's also really not good for the dog.

    Right? Just like you never let a toddler run rampant around your house, you can't do that with a puppy. Puppies are a tremendous amount of work. Um. It's really hard to put into words. Like, I definitely, um, happened with Izzy, happened again with Joey. I get like, I'm not going to call it postpartum depression because I don't, like, take that term lightly, especially since I had it with Ben.

    Um, but definitely a feeling of feeling trapped, of feeling isolated, of feeling not in full control of your life, and feeling you can't do what you want to do. [00:06:00] It's a rough feeling. Um, And so I went for basically like a week and a half without getting dressed. I basically put on like workout clothes in the morning, not because I was working out.

    I wasn't, but it was just took no effort. Um, I didn't take a shower for like four or five days at one point, which I talked openly about on social media because there's just too much shame behind these things. And I want to be really open with you guys. And so here's the thing for me working out. And I'm going to say it, taking a shower and getting dressed were just not the top of my list.

    They just were not priorities for me. I was able to continue feeling good without those things. What did have to happen the two big things that did have to happen is I had to keep a focus on nutrition Now that came with a lot of leeway, right? I was using a lot of like convenience foods and I still am to make that happen a ton of fair life shakes Obviously my yogurt and cottage cheese bowls Getting takeouts, but focusing on like a protein, a veggie, a carb with the [00:07:00] takeout.

    You know, having deli meat in the house, the frozen chicken tenders, all those convenience foods, which I use all the time, but I leaned into them even more heavily. Protein bars, and whenever I was eating, which is not at normal times, focusing on that protein. So that piece of it, and then also moving my body, which I did not strength train, I didn't do a HIIT workout, I didn't do anything intense, but I did get outside for a walk every day.

    Now we're taking Joey for longer walks, but the first like week and a half ish, we weren't, we were just walking her in the backyard, like really getting her to understand like the housebreaking process, like where she's supposed to pee and poop, and so I had to make time to go out for those walks. I had to get out of the house, because otherwise I was just basically in the house most of the day, I needed it so for that movement physically, which then impacts my mental health, and then I needed it just for like the mental release of being out of the house.

    So those were really like my two anchors that kept me going, that kept me feeling good [00:08:00] enough. Did I feel great? No, I didn't feel great. I felt good enough. And that's really what this is about, is feeling good enough. Um, and getting clear on what those things are for you. For you, Showering every day might be an anchor.

    You might be someone who's like, I have to shower every day, otherwise, I don't feel like myself. Totally get that. This isn't a judgment. This is about getting clear on what matters to you. For me, I'm not someone who needs to shower every day. Like if I'm sweaty and gross, yes, I will. But if I am not sweaty and gross, I don't take a shower.

    Like, um, that's just me being honest. So, Um, that was something that didn't need to happen for me. But then after like a certain number of days, I was like, okay, like, now this needs to happen. Um, but you have to get clear on what you are willing to kind of let go of and what you cannot let go of. And there's no right or wrong there.

    Um, but again, you can't hold on to 10 things that you might normally do, right? So I might, I would be doing my strength workout. I would [00:09:00] be doing my HIIT workouts. I would be doing, you know, breakfast, lunch, and dinner around the same time. And I would be like going to the grocery store and I would be, you know, doing all the things I normally doing in a very structured way and just not like happening right now.

    So it was like, get to the store when I have time, get in and out and grab the things, you know, the few things that I know I need. and just lean into that. And so a couple of ways to think about this, if you're kind of struggling to get clear or how to narrow down or how to not feel like, you know, you're kind of giving up on things.

    Um, or, you know, not doing enough is kind of like a good, better, best framework. I don't necessarily love that language, but things exist on a spectrum, right? There's kind of like the quote ideal version, and then there's like the middle of the road, and then there's like the Good enough. I'm showing up and doing something right?

    How can you use a framework like that to identify [00:10:00] right? So if I look at like movement and exercise Getting outside and going for a walk, which is not really getting my heart rate up, right? It's not it's not intense It's not strenuous. I'm just like moving my body and feels good Right? It's kind of like the good enough.

    And then maybe doing like a faster walk, getting my heart rate up would be like the next version. And then maybe like the, the best version would be doing like a full zone two walk on the treadmill on an incline, like checking my heart rate and all of that. Like I do, like I did this morning, right? As I've been able to, um, kind of keep going with that.

    Right? There's a spectrum there. It's not do the zone two walk. or do nothing. There's a whole bunch of options in between, and it's often about finding those in between options, right? Take nutrition, for example, like protein. Um, When I didn't either have time to eat or couldn't eat or whatever, I would drink up a Fairlife.

    It has 30 grams of protein, right? Is that a meal? No, it's not a meal. Would I sometimes still be hungry afterwards? Yes. But I'm getting in the protein in whatever way [00:11:00] I can, right? So is that the best option? No. Is that kind of in like, I don't know? the good, better place? Yeah. If it's as opposed to eating like, I don't know, um, something that either has no protein or less protein, drinking a shake that gets me 30 grams of protein with having to put in zero effort except for twisting off a cap, boom, like that's awesome.

    And this all really links back to consistency is not perfection. That's why I don't like, I don't love the good, better, best, because best is like, That's like too close to perfection, but being consistent is not being perfect. Being consistent is showing up and keeping going and thinking what's good enough.

    Keep asking yourself that. What can I do that's good enough? And that's going to get you to do something. Your brain is going to tell you it's not enough. It's less than what you normally do. It's not, you know, it's not extreme enough to get the results you want. Not all of that stuff, all that black and white thinking.[00:12:00] 

    But you have to keep coming back to, is this good enough? Am I doing something that's good enough? And is this an anchor for me, right? Is this keeping me tethered? Is this keeping me grounded? Is this keeping me in the space that I want to be in? And there doesn't need to be a lot of those, especially when life is crazy, right?

    So this is all about how can I stay consistent with food and exercise. when life is stressful, right? And these are kind of versions of the same skill. Some of the kind of like, I'm giving you like some different ways to think about it to see maybe one of them resonates more than others. Um, but again, like it's very personal and I'm sharing my examples and also some general examples to get you thinking, but there's not like a prescribed list of what you have to do.

    You have to figure that out for yourself. And like, when I talked about like that, I didn't get dressed, I didn't take a shower, like that was something that I could give. I could like, When I say I could give, like, I could [00:13:00] give that up. There's other things I couldn't give up. For you, taking a shower and getting dressed every day might not be something you can give up, but something that I couldn't give up, you might be able to give up, right?

    It's getting clarity around that. Your values help with that, right? That's something we work on in coaching, because looking for it from an external source, looking for it from me to tell you, here's a list of five things that, like, you have to do all the time. And, like, That's not super helpful. So if you're looking, you can look at it in terms of buckets, like food, movement, self care.

    Maybe, I mean, self care kind of encompasses all of those things. Um, and by self care, I'm talking about kind of self talk. I'm gonna put sleep in that bucket, although sleep is really its own bucket. Um, you know, what is like maybe one anchor behavior in each of those things, or anchor action? That you can kind of hold onto to get you through.

    That's going to be enough to keep you feeling like a good enough version of yourself [00:14:00] that you can stay consistent with so that you're not falling into that all or nothing place where it's like, fuck it, I can't do anything. I'll figure this out when this shit is done and over with. And who knows when that's going to be based on the situation you're in.

    Maybe it's a week, maybe it's a month, maybe it's a year. Right? And you can't give up everything that you're doing for a year, right? That's really going to impact your quality of life. So it's about finding that in between and thinking about the anchors that are going to keep you grounded, that are going to keep you kind of grounded.

    Tethered. I like that word, like tethered to a place that feels kind of safe and comfortable and familiar. That's going to keep you right. A boat drops an anchor and it stays in the same area. Can't go that far, right? It has kind of like, maybe it like drifts. the length of the chain, but it's not going out to sea, right?

    You're not letting yourself go out to sea. You're staying within kind of a closed space of what feels good for you. Um, and you don't need a lot of those. [00:15:00] Less is more. So I hope that this was helpful. I hope that some of my examples were helpful. And I hope it gives you a little bit of a framework to think about because when we get stressed, we tend to just say, fuck it.

    I can't do anything. And that's really not helpful. Um, And on the other end, we try to keep all the balls in the air, right? We try to keep doing everything because we're afraid that if we let even one thing go, the whole thing is going to crumble, and that's also not helpful. So it's about giving yourself permission to be in that middle ground and figuring out what that is.

    So again, thinking about it in the terms of anchor behaviors, thinking about this kind of spectrum, this good, better, I'm going to take out the word best and say like more better, right? Where can you be? What are options on that spectrum? And reminding yourself that being consistent is not being perfect.

    Being consistent does not mean doing the thing every day, every single time, all the time. That's perfection. That's not consistency. So [00:16:00] that's what I got for you. I'm going to sign off. Um, if this kind of stuff is resonating and feeling helpful and you're like, yeah, this is what I need. This is what we do in coaching, right?

    Specific to you. We figured it out. We work on it together. You have the support to kind of really implement it if that's something you've struggled with. So add your name to that list and, um, I'll be back next week.

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episode 195: how to deal with the guilt of throwing away food

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episode 193: how much sugar is too much sugar?